THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, February 26, 1995 TAG: 9502240170
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY FRANK ROBERTS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 85 lines
Time to clear off the desk with a little of this, a little of that.
In case you missed it, here's a telephone exchange between Ricky Van Shelton and Joe Hoppell on pal Joey's Feb. 8 show on WCMS:
J - ``You were a pipefitter and spent some time in Hampton Roads.''
R - ``I worked at Planters in 1981, doing a lot of steam pipes. I spent six months in that area.''
The talented singer then asked Joe if he wanted to hear his wild Suffolk story.
R - ``There was this working port-a-john sitting near the entrance where tractor-trailers come in. Those trucks swing wide, missing the thing by three or four feet.
``I was in there one day when I heard this truck coming. I heard this rumble. It got bigger, bigger, bigger.
``Suddenly, the potty swung around in a circle - me in it. Lord have mercy, that cut me off short.
``People everywhere were just laughing at me. They thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw.''
Put that to music, Ricky; we'll be listening.
How do telephone solicitors know when it's your mealtime? They probably have eaten already, so it matters little to them when they turn a pleasant Dr. Jekyll into a nasty Mr. Hyde.
One gentleman came to this solution:
``You have reached the residence of John and Marsha,'' a telephone recording announces. ``If you would like to speak with Marsha, press one. If you would like to speak with John, press two. If you don't know either one of us from Adam's ox, buzz off and press on to the next number on your list. Have a nice day.
``If you would like to leave a message, wait for the beep.''
According to John, ``Our friends leave messages, and we are having nice days.''
Orphanages are in the news, since Newt Gingrich decided they would be a good way to help reform the welfare system.
Pro and con articles followed.
My parents were raised in an orphanage in Baltimore. In those days, the 19-teens and -20s, they were very unpleasant places.
A former co-worker, Christy Joynes, recently visited her boyfriend in the Midwest, a trip that included a stop at the Million Dollar Bar in Jackson Hole, Wyo.
She likes line dancing and asked the bartender if they did it at his establishment.
``Real cowboys,'' he intoned, ``don't line dance.''
Gulp!
My thanks to the Friends of the Library in Franklin for giving me the opportunity to talk about Black History Month.
Thanks, too, to Morgan Memorial Library in Suffolk for providing me with interesting information for the talk. I met some nice people there.
Also, thanks to Bethlehem Christian Church for the opportunity to emcee its recent talent show.
I met some nice folks there, too, and visited with many I already knew.
Among the places I visited during the Christmas holidays was Hot Springs, Arkansas, to which I will return this summer.
The oldest part of the National Park System, it is a fascinating locale, its main street lined with bathhouse after bathhouse.
The water is pure and odorless - many people fill bottle after bottle with it - the hot water perfect for bathing, the cold for drinking.
The Fordyce Bathhouse is maintained by the federal government as a tourist attraction, a fascinating look at the splendor of the area in the 20s, 30s and 40s.
One story has it that the rival gangs of those days would call a truce during their stays in Hot Springs - something like the Christmas truce between the troops on the front lines during World War I.
Once gang members left the area, though, it was back to gangland business as usual. ILLUSTRATION: Ricky Van Shelton
Former Planters' pipefitter
by CNB