THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, March 4, 1995 TAG: 9503030063
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Issues of Faith
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: Medium: 92 lines
TODAY'S COLUMN is about homosexuality. More definitively, it's about what homosexuals can do to become included in the community of faith.
Before diving in, however, let me set some things straight. First, this is not a column that will debate whether or not homosexuality is right or wrong in the eyes of God. That argument has become moot simply because the more it's debated, the less it's decided. We won't argue it again here or in next week's Reader Response column.
Second: I am writing about this from my own perspective, developed after years of Scripture study, personal experience and prayer. I believe homosexuality is not deviant behavior, nor is it a sin. I believe that homosexuals should be allowed the full rights of any person of faith. Homosexuals should be allowed to marry, be ordained and even have children through adoption or in-vitro fertilization.
Lastly, this column is directed at homosexuals who are dedicated people of faith. I do not pretend to fully understand their struggle. I can only write this as an empathetic heterosexual Christian. If my words offend, don't just blast me. Help me understand my offense. This column is about building consensus, not walls.
Ground rules covered, let's move on.
As I write this on Thursday morning, homosexual rights activist Mel White is sitting in the Virginia Beach city jail, languishing on a self-imposed hunger strike. He says he is willing to die for his cause: getting his former employer and friend, Pat Robertson, to meet him for a discussion of Robertson's views on homosexuality. White believes those views - that engaging in homosexual acts is a sin, deviant and incompatible with Christianity - when espoused by someone of Robertson's stature, fuels intolerance against homosexuals, encouraging gay bashing and even violence against homosexuals.
Even though I agree with White, I do not believe his death will help anything. I believe that by focusing on just one leader of faith, White gives way too much power to that person. As a Christian, White should remember that if Jesus Christ taught anything, it was that influencing the rich and the powerful is not where it's at.
Like White's own son, I pray that White will give up his fast. I believe he is needed for the greater cause: getting regular believers to see homosexuals as a valid part of God's creation.
How can that be done? Do as Jesus did. When the spiritual elites of the day spurned Jesus, his response was pragmatic: He shook the dust from his feet and moved on . . . on to those who would really listen . . . on to regular folks.
Jesus knew that real change begins not in the head but in the heart. You cannot change someone's beliefs by debate. Real change comes only through an encounter with one of God's agents, namely one of his people here on earth.
If the average heterosexual is going to accept and grow to understand the homosexual worshiping next to him, it will only come about by positive encounter.
Here are some steps that homosexuals can take toward such positive encounters:
Integrate. While it is affirming and therefore valid that homosexuals have their own churches, support groups and businesses, it is vital that they continue to integrate the heterosexual community. Openly homosexual people of faith need to worship and work alongside heterosexual people of faith as much as possible.
Live a life of integrity. Human values such as honesty, fidelity, loyalty, kindness and hard work earn the respect of others. Practice them and encourage them in others.
Be monogamous. One of the chief slams against gay men is their alleged promiscuity. I don't believe they are any worse than their heterosexual brothers, but why not strive to be better. Encourage and celebrate long-term relationships. Until same-sex unions are legal stateside, celebrate common-law marriages of the heart.
Don't hide, but don't flaunt either. Whether heterosexual or homosexual, it is simply in poor taste to introduce someone as ``my lover.'' It's also tacky to divulge every detail of one's sex life. Be discreet. It's nobody's business who you sleep with or what you do in bed, but neither is it your duty to tell all.
Be patient and forgiving. Change won't happen overnight. Hang in there. If things get ugly, change churches, but please keep trying.
Respect those who believe differently. Refrain from arguing over the rightness or wrongness of homosexuality. Again, debates don't change minds, but positive encounters can change hearts. MEMO: Every other week, Betsy Mathews Wright publishes responses to her
opinion column. Send responses to Issues of Faith, The Virginian-Pilot,
150 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510; call (804) 446-2273; FAX
(804) 436-2798; or send e-mail to bmw(AT)infi.net. Deadline is Tuesday
before publication. You must include name, city and phone number.
KEYWORDS: RELIGION HOMOSEXUALS by CNB