THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, March 5, 1995 TAG: 9503010052
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: HE SAID, SHE SAID
SOURCE: KERRY DOUGHERTY & DAVE ADDIS
LENGTH: Long : 117 lines
DAVE SAYS:
Against my better judgment, Kerry, I tossed a copy of The New York Times on your desk, the one with a big spread explaining how scientists, after years of research, have learned that men and women crave different foods.
The big conclusion? Women like chocolate. Men like meat.
Wow. What a breakthrough.
The scientists could have saved a lot of time by interviewing guys who at one time or another forgot their wife's birthday. How many tried to bribe their way back into the house with a cheeseburger? How many used a box of Godiva?
And how many of the first group are now living in a motel in Ocean View with a fritzed-out neon sign in front, fantasizing about setting a Rottweiler loose on the domestic-relations judge?
It seems that cravings, and how they affect men and women differently, are all the trend among researchers. The Times said some 50 such studies have been published in the past five years. What they've learned is that men and women might crave the same things from time to time, especially as they get older, but that younger women will crave sweets over entrees - especially chocolate, any kind of chocolate - by a 2-to-1 ratio. For men, the ratio is exactly the opposite.
Bodies ruled by estrogen, the story said, have very different cravings from bodies ruled by testosterone. And the estrogen-driven cravings will vary in intensity through the month. Sounds rational. It explains why my fiance once pulled a butter knife on a waiter at Le Charlieu and tried to hijack his dessert cart.
We no longer dine out when the moon is full.
In typical New York Times style, the story about the breakthrough scientific report on cravings was scholarly, comprehensive and thoughtful. Which means it was so dull that nobody bothered to read it. Instead, it was boiled down to its basics by the hair-sprays on a local Eyewitness News show, who snickered a lot about how guys' craving for meat proves they're still cavemen at heart. Grunt grunt. Scratch scratch. Hah hah.
Too bad. They went for a cheap male-basher laugh just when they were on the verge of shedding a little light on a serious difference between the sexes. Think of the liberation potential, here, Kerry. Though I don't eat a lot of red meat, I'll no longer feel guilty when I suddenly feel compelled, at 10 at night, to slice and marinate a hunk of flank steak and cook up a huge batch of homemade beef jerky. I've actually done this (see recipe below). At least now I understand why.
And no longer will a woman have to stifle her appetite at dessert time, trying to impress the guy across the table with her ladylike restraint. You can just smile demurely and say, ``Pardon me, but my electrolytes are mildly out of balance, and The New York Times says the only thing that will iron them out is a big piece of that double-dutch chocolate tort. With ice cream. And sauce.''
Science, Kerry, is truly a marvelous endeavor. If we're lucky, they'll soon discover a hormonal reason why fat men wear Speedos, and why women find it perfectly acceptable to eat breakfast, apply makeup and drive their cars at the same time.
Dave's Homemade Beef Jerky
Hunk of flank steak
1 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
2 cloves garlic
Red pepper flakes
Slice flank steak into half-inch-thick strips. Prepare marinade: combine soy sauce, vinegar, cornstarch, finely chopped garlic and as many red peppper flakes as you can stand. Marinate several hours in refrigerator. Place strips on rack in oven (use aluminum foil or cookie sheet on a lower rack to catch drips). Bake at 150 degrees for 10-12 hours.
KERRY SAYS:
Cute, Dave. The recipe that is. If you think by doing this I'm going to share my secret Death by Chocolate cake ingredients, you're crazy.
But for once I agree with you. You would think scientists, instead of mucking around with the obvious, could turn their attention toward curing cancer, splicing genes or figuring out how to extract all the calories from those Mr. Goodbars.
Since only 16 percent of all scientists are women, I think it's safe to assume that these 50 studies were primarily conducted by males. And if they'd quit munching cheeseburgers long enough to think about what they were doing, we'd all benefit. They ought to put some of that brainpower to work figuring out how to keep all that beef jerky from skulking around in your arteries, waiting to - how do I put this gently - turn this column into simply ``She Said.''
It's fine to understand that male cravings for meat are somehow hormonal. Or that chocolate satisfies women like nothing else. But simply cooking meat regularly or bringing home a Whitman Sampler once a week is not going to bridge the problems between the sexes.
It's noteworthy that these guys also missed the real scientific breakthrough here.
According to The Times, chocolate contains more than 400 compounds, including caffeine and theobromine, both stimulants; tyramine and phenylethylamine, both of which the paper says are ``arousing, leading to greater alertness and slightly elevated blood pressure.''
In other words, Dave, women crave food that enables us to do what needs to be done. Women, especially those juggling families and careers - and in their spare time trying to work off all those chocolate calories in aerobic classes - need stimulants. They're the only things keeping us going.
Men, on the other hand, are scarfing down red meat - guaranteed to send them straight from the table to the Barcolounger. Which also explains a secondary craving men have - for that comforting feeling of a remote control in the palm of their hand.
Have you ever noticed how, after a nice, thick, juicy New York strip steak, the only part of a man's body still working is the right thumb?
So you're right, Dave, this study does have some liberating potential. The next time I'm about to order a slice of double chocolate cheesecake I won't feel guilty - I'll know I'm doing it for the people I love. MEMO: Kerry Dougherty can be reached at 446-2302. Dave Addis can be reached at
446-2588, and via e-mail at addis(at)infi.net.
by CNB