THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, March 5, 1995 TAG: 9503010089
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K5 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REAL LOVE
SOURCE: BY JANE HARPER, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 100 lines
BRENDA AND Skip Rawls always wanted to be married. They just never dreamed it would take them 35 years to get there.
Their long, on-again-off-again courtship began when their eyes first met in the sixth grade at Taylor Elementary School in Norfolk in 1953.
It rekindled in high school, continued into college, but then abruptly ended their sophomore year. It wasn't until 1983, after each of their marriages ended in divorce, that the Rawlses started dating again.
Finally, on Valentines Day 1988, they exchanged vows.
Now both 54, they live in Virginia Beach, where Skip has a successful practice as an oral surgeon and Brenda is a top-selling real estate agent for Womble Realty.
``I always, always, always wanted to be with him,'' Brenda said recently as she petted a Yorkshire terrier Skip gave her after they got back together. ``It was just one of those dreams that you dream and think about, but that you don't think will ever come true.''
Their relationship began when Skip transferred to Brenda's grade school in Norfolk. But their budding romance was to be brief, ending when Skip's family moved back to Virginia Beach after just one year.
Their next meeting didn't occur until senior year in high school when Skip, attending boarding school in Lynchburg, saw a picture of Brenda in Life magazine.
Brenda, a student at Maury High School in Norfolk, was quoted in the magazine about her feelings concerning a controversial decision to close Norfolk's schools rather than desegregate them.
Skip recognized her and decided immediately he wanted another chance with his old girlfriend.
``I told a friend of mine I had to go out with her,'' Skip recalled. That friend arranged a date that led to a serious relationship.
When Skip decided to attend all-male Hampden-Sydney College in a rural Virginia, Brenda enrolled in Longwood, an all-female school six miles away. Skip gave Brenda his fraternity pin and the couple talked about marriage.
But during their second year of college, the relationship ended in a breakup they both describe as difficult and traumatic.
``We were too serious,'' Skip explained. ``We were not mature enough to handle it.''
Brenda married another man not long after. When she had her first child at Norfolk General Hospital, Skip climbed the fire escape after visiting hours to go see her. It was an upsetting time for Brenda, who already was regretting having married someone else.
Brenda later moved to Florida, and Skip returned to Virginia Beach after finishing medical school and residency training.
Brenda's marriage ended after 14 years and three sons. Skip's was over after 20 years. He and his first wife also had three sons.
During those years, Brenda's friends in Hampton Roads, knowing how she felt about Skip, kept her informed of him. Skip admits that he, too, kept up with Brenda's life through mutual friends.
``I never stopped thinking about him,'' Brenda said. ``I've never really been attracted to anyone other than him.''
But it wasn't until 1983, at a Monte Carlo-theme party in Virginia Beach, that she saw Skip again.
Brenda was there with a date. Skip was alone, still upset about his recent divorce. Brenda consoled him at the party, and by the end of the night, she told her date she was leaving with Skip.
``I had never been that brash. But I thought I'm not going to miss this opportunity,'' Brenda said.
Not long after they began dating again, Skip gave Brenda back the fraternity pin and the pearl and diamond ring he had given her during their college days.
``I was shocked he still had them,'' Brenda said. Skip also had kept all the letters she had written him during their school days.
A few years later, when they attended the homecoming festivities at Hampden-Sydney, Skip proposed under the school's bell tower. Brenda quickly accepted.
Despite all the years that had passed, Brenda and Skip said their friends weren't really surprised to hear that the two were finally together.
``They always knew how much we cared for each other,'' Skip said.
After they were married, Skip ran into an old friend who still had a note that Skip had written him in college. In it, Skip bet his friend $50 that he would marry Brenda.
``I said I was going to marry her, I just didn't say when,'' Skip said with a smile.
But Skip didn't collect on the bet.
``I just didn't have the heart to collect from him after all those years,'' he said. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
PETER D. SUNDBERG
Skip and Brenda Rawls, shown with their dog Blitzen, met in grade
school in 1953, reunited as high school seniors, broke up in college
and married others. It wasn't until 1983, after each had divorced,
that they started dating again. They married in 1988.
Photo
Brenda and Skip met in Norfolk in 1953, but Skip's family moved away
a year later.
by CNB