THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, March 13, 1995 TAG: 9503120231
SECTION: BUSINESS WEEKLY PAGE: 06 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: DOUBLECLICK
LENGTH: Long : 107 lines
Doubleclick authors Richard and Roger Grimes of Norfolk happen to be twin brothers and computer authorities. Their discourse on life in the computer lane appears every other week in Hampton Roads Business Weekly.
Roger: If you know Richard, you've probably heard about his beloved '66 Plymouth Valiant. If you're a Norfolk cop, on the other hand, you've probably spent time debating whether to ticket the Valiant or nominate it for a historical marker.
Richard: Actually, the police have come down pretty firmly on the side of ticketing. At least once a week I can count on coming home to the sight of an orange ticket and the sound of my neighbors laughing and humming the tune I Fought the Law, and the Law Won.
Roger: All of this legal attention has made Richard more appreciative of the troubles dogging Microsoft, the makers of the Windows operating system and other products.
For those of you who don't know, Judge Sporkin threw out an anti-trust settlement between the Justice Department and Microsoft. In addition, the Justice Department is looking into the their recent acquisition of Intuit, the makers of Quicken. What's more, competitors plan to fight Microsoft's entry into the online services market. Face it, it's almost as popular to heckle Microsoft as it is to ticket Richard's Valiant.
Richard: Yeah, almost. It's definitely a very cool thing now to diss Microsoft. And, if given the choice between doing the cool thing, or doing the nerdy thing, you can always count on us to do the nerdy thing. That's why today's column is going to be a sloppy Microsoft lovefest. We're going to bring up nothing but shiny, happy feelings about the company. By the time we're through, you'll have the same warm feelings for Bill Gates that you normally associate with Christmas. Kids, don't try this at home.
Windows95
We came, we saw, we configured. And you know what? It looks to be a pretty nice program. It's definitely an improvement over the current Windows program.
How good is it? We're still waiting for the final Beta release before we draw any more specific conclusions. But it's time to stop bashing Microsoft for delaying the release of the new Windows interface. We'd rather have it right than have it quickly.
Rabid OS/2 users, take note:
Notice that we didn't mention IBM's OS/2 in the above paragraph. This means that we aren't comparing Windows95 and the current release of your operating system. Don't send us e-mail telling us what boneheads we are. We already have bosses who are paid to do that.
Windows95, part 2
Who will win the operating systems war?
As we pored through the computer section in an area bookstore (Yes, we know how to read), we noticed that the shelves already held about 10 books dealing with Windows95. Books on OS/2 totaled about two.
Slipping quickly into our Wile E. Coyote super genius mode, we realized that publishers probably anticipate the success of Windows95, as does most of the business world. Or maybe, we thought, OS/2 is so easy to use, it only needs two books.
Uh, right.
Rabid OS/2 users note, part 2
Contrary to the pro-IBM mail we've been receiving, there is no photographic proof that Bill Gates acted in conjunction with Lee Harvey Oswald.
The Microsoft Natural Keyboard
It's the new ergonomic keyboard that looks as if it were designed by someone with a serious drug problem. Roger has used this wavy keyboard for a couple of weeks.
The verdict?
Microsoft's keyboard proved to be well designed, better marketed and cheaper than the rest - all the things that really irritate us about Microsoft.
Microsoft's planned online service
Microsoft plans to enter the online arena and box it out with the likes of America Online and Prodigy. Even worse, they plan to offer the service at the cut-rate price of $5 per month. We hate it when companies make it cheaper for us to do things that we want to do.
Already, companies are yelling for anti-trust investigations. Our suggestion to America Online? Take the millions of dollars that you plan to use in litigation with Microsoft and add more phone lines so that your subscribers will never get a busy signal.
Funniest thing Microsoft has done in a while
Microsoft recently sponsored a television special on great white sharks - huge, carnivorous eating machines who spend their entire life looking for smaller animals to consume. Hmmmm.
Funniest nerd game to play during Microsoft commercials
Richard and his friends watched the great white shark special. Whenever a Microsoft commercial came on, they waited patiently until they saw Microsoft's new slogan, ``Where do you want to go today?''.
Every time they saw the slogan, the group yelled, ``Anti-trust court!''
We told you it was a nerd game.
The final, best reason to like Microsoft
They're not Intel.
Keith Williams, a buyer for Tidewater Computers, recently called a California distributor to order some Pentium chips. They asked him if he would like the ``new'' Pentium chips, or if he'd like to buy the ``flawed'' Pentium chips at $40 less per chip. Keith opted for the ``new'' chips. Make sure your Pentium dealer does. MEMO: The guy with ergonomically rested wrists can be reached at
groger(AT)infi.net
The guy with Plymouth ticket magnet can be reached at
rgrimes(AT)infi.net
by CNB