THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, March 18, 1995 TAG: 9503180052
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Issues of Faith
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: Medium: 85 lines
WHENEVER I TACKLE an extremely volatile issue in this column, I mentally prepare myself for the deluge of negative response that I know will come, by simply reminding myself of the First Amendment.
Preparing myself on a spiritual level, however, is a lot harder.
Why? Mainly because the negative response I get is often mean-spirited and downright vicious. Not content just to attack my beliefs, many respondents feel they have been led by God to attack me on a personal level.
These personal attacks almost always come from well-meaning Christians. While their thinking reflects that bumper sticker that reads ``God said it, I believe it, that settles it,'' it also takes that sentiment a step further.
``God said it. I believe it. That settles it. Now you must believe it, too, or else you're not a Christian and you are going to hell.''
Thoughts like that scare the dickens out of me. Ironically, however, it's people who think like that, who keep me honest and fair.
Huh? Let me explain.
Rarely have I written a column when someone, somewhere hasn't taken offense. This is not to say I don't get letters commending what I do. Actually, I get more positive than negative responses - by a three-to-one margin. I wouldn't be human if I didn't treasure these kudos. Everyone likes affirmation.
It is, however, the negative letters that send me on the path of self-examination. That route, unfortunately, is usually a little twisted, especially in the beginning. When I first get an angry letter, from someone who condemns me to hell or accuses me of blaspheming the Word of God, my knee-jerk reaction isn't very nice. Sometimes I laugh or blow it off with a joke. Sometimes I get angry and think something like, ``Yea, buddy, and I'll see your judgmental butt in hell, too.''
I wish I could say I've tamed my tongue enough to keep these sentiments to myself. But I haven't. When I get mean-spirited letters, it often brings out the mean spirit in me. I've found myself lashing out in front of co-workers, friends and sometimes, my family.
It's not a pretty sight. It's one I know that God despises, and it's that knowledge that eventually gets me back on the path of real self-examination.
On this path, I seek out God's voice, asking ``Who's right here, Lord? I prayed and sought your guidance before writing about that issue and I believed you were guiding my words. Was I wrong? Show me, Lord, show me.''
Once I'm in this introspection mode, I'm able to pray more about the charges against me. Am I ``an agent of Satan?'' Am I ``leading thousands of people to hell?'' Am I a real Christian?
In these times of retrospection, I also turn to Scripture. Do I need a Hebrew Testament lesson in hubris vs. humility? I read Samuel I and II. Do I need awareness of the dangers of false teachings? I dig into Second Peter of the Christian Testament. Do I need nuggets of ``how to live right'' wisdom? Epistle of James, here I come. And because I am a Christian, when I most need reminding of the heart of Jesus Christ's teachings, I embrace Chapters 5, 6 and 7 of Matthew's Gospel.
Throughout the prayer and the study, I beg the Holy Spirit to show me that my belief is either folly or wisdom.
Now, having done all these things, one would think that a clear answer would come shining through. But God doesn't send telegrams. And even if I still feel I'm right, there's a part of me that knows darn well that just because I believe God has spoken to me, it doesn't mean he really has.
I'm spiritually mature enough to accept that it is the process, not the answers, that humble us. After all the prayers, all the devotion, all the faith, I cannot pretend to absolutely know God's mind on all issues. In the end, I accept that knowing God's mind isn't always the important thing.
The important thing is the struggle. The struggle reminds me that I am not God. The struggle allows me to find the grace to accept others who don't believe as I do. The struggle brings me back to the love of God, which helps me to see that sometimes when faced by those who revile you and hate you for your beliefs, you must simply turn the other cheek and say, ``I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.''
And then you walk away from the fray.
MEMO: Every other week, Betsy Mathews Wright publishes responses to her
opinion column. Send responses to Issues of Faith, The Virginian-Pilot,
150 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510; call (804) 446-2273; FAX
(804) 436-2798; or send computer message via bmw(AT)infi.net. Deadline
is Tuesday prior to publication. Must include name, city and phone
number.
by CNB