THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, March 31, 1995 TAG: 9503300157
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 10 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY NANCY LEWIS, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 109 lines
REX, THE GREEN iguana, is shedding. Thin, transparent sheets of skin peel upward from his back and flutter like the wings of a bird ready for flight.
Despite the dimness of the room, the subtle blues and greens on Rex's sides reveal an intensity and freshness of color waiting to emerge.
Rex is the cherished pet of Mary Dailey and her 13-year-old son, Josh White. Mother and son, who rent a Thalia area house, bought the iguana two years ago for $35.
``This is our cheap pet,'' says Dailey, holding the foot-long reptile aloft proudly.
``He's neat,'' adds Josh, bending over to touch Rex's colorful new skin.
An iguana is inexpensive to maintain, says Dailey, explaining that Rex eats only one head of cabbage each week. And when you're in college and raising a child alone, you have to watch every penny.
Like Rex, Dailey is trying to trade an old image for a new one.
On May 14, when Dailey, in cap and gown, reaches out her hand to accept a Norfolk State University diploma, she will have reached the summit in a long, uphill climb. It has not been an easy trek for the divorced mother or her son.
It's a journey the 39-year-old single parent might never have embarked on without the help of state and federal welfare. Dailey and Josh receive Aid to Families with Dependent Children, food stamps and Medicaid from Virginia Beach Social Services.
When her marriage to Josh's father ended in divorce about four years ago, Dailey was a department sales manager at Miller and Rhoads, earning $11,000 a year. But the company was about to close. Instead of taking a low-paying job without benefits, Dailey decided to go to college.
At Tidewater Community College, Dailey soon found that, despite all her efforts, she couldn't fill the widening gap between income and basic living expenses. That's when she turned to the welfare system for help.
Armed with a monthly check from Social Services - and a part-time job - Dailey began preparations for a career in social work.
While a student at TCC, Dailey continued to put Josh first, even though this frequently meant she would have to study late into the night.
In 1992, she received her associate's degree in gerontology and took a job at M.E. Cox Center for Elderly Day Care.
But what she could earn with an associate's degree still wasn't enough, she found, because once she was working, she no longer received her AFDC check. Also gone was her Medicaid coverage, even though she had yet to get a job with benefits.
Taking on a part-time evening job might have helped, but that would have meant that she wouldn't be home with Josh.
Dailey decided that if she and her son were to have enough money to live on she would need more education, so she registered at NSU and began receiving benefits again.
Now as she's finishing work on her bachelor's degree in social work, Dailey spends part of each day doing her practicum - or internship - at the Portsmouth Child and Family Services Good Beginnings program. She works with teenage parents, teaching them how to cope.
The $231 AFDC check and the $212 in food stamps Dailey gets each month don't go far when you've got a growing boy in the house, she says. Dailey also collects another $50 a month through Child Support Enforcement - most of the time.
And even though she clips and uses coupons and buys the cheapest things, Dailey and Josh must do without. Right now, for example, her car needs new brakes but she can't afford them.
While Josh does get enough to eat, he doesn't often get the foods he likes most - Wendy's hamburgers, Frosties and pizza.
Josh must do without lots of other things his peers take for granted. He would love to take karate lessons and get his bicycle's back wheel fixed.
``He hates me being in school because we're so poor,'' Dailey says.
``People think you're living high and mighty on welfare, but you go without a lot. They see steak in your food basket and the people behind you in line look at you, say things. They don't know all the times you ate macaroni. . .
Dailey is glad that the welfare system is there to help when she needs it. She'll also be glad when she doesn't have to rely on the system any longer. Then, she says, she can ``stop living in hell.''
She hopes to eventually earn a master's degree. But it will probably be some time before she can work toward the advanced degree. When she finishes at NSU, Dailey must pay back the federal government $10,000 she borrowed for tuition.
She says education and job training are the keys to helping people get off - and stay off - welfare. Without them, she says, there is no way to avoid going back on the system.
``You can't cut somebody off without training,'' Dailey says. ``Sure, there will always be those who will abuse the system, but it needs to be intact to help those who are trying to help themselves.''
Dailey adds that community service might be a way to pay the system back for education. ``You've got to give back to the community.''
She would like to stay in Virginia Beach where she was born and raised, but because pay for social workers is better outside of Virginia, Dailey says she will probably begin sending out resumes.
``My home is here, and I hate to leave. . . . What I'd really like to do is have my own elderly home. Maybe five older people to care for. I'd just take care of them. . . like in a big family.'' MEMO: [For related cover stories, see page 10 and 11 of The Beacon for this
date.]
ILLUSTRATION: Photo by NANCY LEWIS
Mary Dailey and her son, Josh, bought Rex, their iguana, two years
ago in part because he's cheap. He eats only one head of cabbage a
week.
KEYWORDS: WELFARE PUBLIC ASSISTANCE by CNB