THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 9, 1995 TAG: 9504070221
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 06 EDITION: FINAL
LENGTH: Short : 45 lines
Limit the lawyers
We who work within the global community are frequently questioned as to why the American population tolerates the disruption, destruction and loss of face accorded by an overly litigious society, a disgusting condition that is neither the fault of the general population, nor new.
A recent Harris Poll reflects Americans perennially view lawyers with the least respect of any sizable occupational group. This sentiment has long been shared in Western culture, vis-a-vis Ben Franklin, Will Shakespeare, Mohammed and Christ (Luke 11:46), to cite a few outspoken individuals.
It is easily contended that the Legal Reform Act has only taken a small step toward controlling the excessively populated, self-serving and rapacious influence that controls this country's legal and political systems. To correct this grievance, it is strongly recommended that reform legislation include language such as:
Limit the number of lawyers per capita to no more than the lawyer-per-capita ratio of any country with a standard of living higher than that of America.
Abolish ``Lawyer Time.'' Lawyers shall have to work and bill against real time.
Limit the number of lawyers in elected/appointed office to no greater than any other occupational group.
Abolish ``Lawyer Math.'' Require lawyers to pass a minimal mathematics competency examination that includes the concept of ``equality.''
Limit text in legal letters and documents to three paragraphs or two pages. Impose severe financial penalties for anything greater.
What to do with the resultant proliferation of under-employed attorneys? What about defense utilization: During police/military actions, have lawyers compose the first wave. In addition to confusing the opposition, this saves on retrenchments; further, they are biodegradable, so there are no retrograde costs. Imagine what the Somalian warlords could do with 15,000 litigators.
J. Kenneth Edgar
Coinjock by CNB