THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, April 21, 1995 TAG: 9504210088
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY CHARLENE CASON, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 107 lines
DAD WON'T EAT tacos, casseroles or sloppy joes. He's a real meat-and-potatoes man. So when he's gone for months at a time, the Allen family indulges its varied tastes.
That's one of the advantages Master Chief Donald Allen's chosen career gives his family. But Allen's being in the military also brings a unique set of problems to his only son's life. When Dad's at sea on submarine duty, the 17-year-old's three sisters tend to gang up on him.
``I like it when he's home, 'cause then I can tease them. Dad watches my back,'' said Donald Allen III with a look of glee in his eyes.
But, then again, when Dad's home,
``he's the first master chief. It's his way or no way. He says things like `Stow your stuff' and `Roll yourself out of the rack' at 5 a.m., when you don't have to go to school until 7:30,'' Donald said.
The Allen siblings are among the more than 2 million family members who come as a package deal with their active-duty military spouses and parents. For the past three decades, there have been more family members (59 percent) than active-duty personnel, married and single (41 percent), in the armed forces.
April has been set aside since 1986 by the Department of Defense as the Month of the Military Child.
Virginia's military population is the largest in the United States. But despite the large number of Navy families living in Hampton Roads, many ``military brats'' say their friends come from civilian families.
Students have mixed feelings about the military lifestyle that gives them opportunities but takes away friendships. They say having parents who aren't home for months at a time, moving every couple of years and being a representative of the Navy bring their own set of pressures and pleasures.
``My three best friends are back in Italy,'' said Stacy Vasiljevich, 16. ``Leaving your friends behind is one of the worst things - that and the long cruises my dad goes on. Sometimes your stuff gets lost, and you have to get a lot of shots if you go overseas.''
Stacy lived in Naples, Italy, until two years ago. Then her father, a chief communicator, got ordered to Hampton Roads. She attended Salem High School for the 10th and 11th grades. This summer the family will move to Sicily, where Stacy will go to a new school for her senior year.
Kids don't really care what other kids' parents do for a living, whether they're in the military or not, according to Joe Powers, who recently arrived in the area from his father's last duty station in Naples. The only time it's a critical factor, he said, is when you live overseas. ``Then you really depend on each other,'' he said.
``You find that your friends often move to the same places you do. If you go to a new school, the kids will usually help you out,'' said Joe, 14. ``Moving a lot teaches you social skills; you learn to talk to people right away.''
But the military life isn't all opportunities to experience different cultures, learn social skills and make new friends. The lifestyle brings with it a certain amount of scrutiny. Joe says he'd never be allowed to dye his brown hair ``orange or blue or green.
Johanna Franken, whose father is the commanding officer of the Norfolk Naval Air Station, says she and her two brothers are often seen as representative of all children of military members. But, she feels, her parents do not place unreasonable restrictions or demands on them because of it.
``In fact, we probably do more than most kids, because we get to go to ceremonies, like changes of command, and we go on board ships,'' said Johanna, 18. ``It surprises me when civilians ask me about going on ships, or they want to stop and look at airplanes flying over. To me, it's just not a big deal.''
Johanna hasn't moved much compared to other Navy families; she's only lived in Rhode Island, Virginia Beach and, now, Norfolk. But her dad has been away for extended periods of time. The last time was for a year and a half, when he commuted home from Washington only on weekends.
Having his father away on deployment for six months at a time really bothers Garrett Bragg, 15. His dad is the command master chief of Norfolk Naval Air Station.
``When he's gone, my mom won't take me as many places, like to the gym, and I just basically stay out of the house 'cause she gets in a bad mood,'' said Garrett. ``But when he's home, he's on my side.''
The teens all said that using base facilities is another advantage to their lifestyle. Garrett plays volleyball in the Norfolk Naval Station gym, and Donald likes the competition of playing basketball with sailors in the Dam Neck gym. Stacy and Joe participated in various sports when they lived in Naples, where both said they ``felt a lot safer on base.''
Johanna works part time in a base exchange. She and her friends always bowl on base rather than pay more expensive rates at civilian lanes. And Donald said the Oceana recreation center has ``gooood hamburgers.''
So, do the gyms and cheap bowling games and great hamburgers, the dads who take your side against females, the cultural experiences and ceremonies outweigh the anchors of Navy life that tie children forever to their parents' military careers?
``No matter where you are, you represent your father, because you're carrying around his Social Security number,'' said Donald Allen III. ``If you act bad in civilian life, that's one thing, but if you act bad when you're in the military life, it always gets back to your dad.
``But it's really a great life. I've never been anything else,'' he said with a shrug of his shoulders. ``And whenever I see a submarine go by, I feel like it's calling me.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
Military kids Stacy Vasiljevich, 16, left, and Melissa Johnson, 15,
eat lunch together at Salem High.
by CNB