THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 30, 1995 TAG: 9505010200
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
DATELINE: ORLANDO, FLA. LENGTH: Long : 360 lines
IT'S BREAKFAST TIME at Walt Disney World's Polynesian Resort. Outside, there is green vegetation to rival the Amazon's rain forest, with flaming torches bordering the cement pathways. Inside, there are the usual eggs and bacon, but with butter patties that are shaped like Mickey Mouse's silhouette.
But wait!
Isn't that? Yes it IS! There's Minnie Mouse!
``Hey, Minnie! Come here, girl. I want to talk with you.''
She clicks those yellow shoes over to the table - a vision of pertness in a little white dress with red polka dots - with her bloomers boldly showing. (Her bloomers are ALWAYS showing.) She extends a hand to be kissed and does a little curtsy.
``Minnie, I want to know when that rascal is going to MARRY you,'' I inquire. ``I mean, enough is enough. You two have been going together, what, 50 years? Now, you know the guy is loaded. Look at all this. Hotels. Rides. The T-shirt franchise alone is worth a fortune. He's a corporate symbol. And where is your ring? Just where?''
Minnie covers her eyes in mock shock. Then, she covers her mouth to suggest it's ``no-tell'' time. She points to her finger and, taking my fork, outlines a make-believe ring. ``That's where it should be,'' I confirm, ``and nothing less than 25 carats, with his kind of loot.''
It's an adult discussion, right? Well, sorta. The point is that Walt Disney World in Florida is especially inviting us adults this year. Disney World, so-much-fun-that-you-may-kill-yourself-trying-to-do-it-all, is sending out notice that there is a place for grownups in the Magic Kingdom and its two co-parks. The place is - everywhere. (Yes, Mickey and Minnie do have separate, side-by-side houses in Mickey's Starland, but they can't fool us all the time.)
The point is that you don't need a bunch of snivelling brats to have a grand time at Walt Disney World. In fact, you might, just once, splurge by leaving the kids at home. (Tell them you're going to visit Uncle Mickey. No need to be too specific.)
The ``world'' is even offering a free planning video for adults. Call (800) 545-9256 and they'll mail it to you. While you're waiting, stay with us in this report. We'll give you a few planning hints.
First of all, leave the cynicism at home. For this trip, feel free to get silly - and even talk to Minnie Mouse during breakfast.
Planning is of supreme importance. There are three parks, plus golf courses, water parks, Discovery Island (a kind of outdoor zoo), Pleasure Island (discos for wild folks till 2 a.m.) and plenty more. TIPS NOT TO FORGET
Choose your time wisely. Avoid vacation times and the summer months. This region has the stillest, hottest air in the summer, and the little darlings are out in force then. Preferred times are right after holidays - Thanksgiving, New Year's, Easter. You have the place, relatively, to yourself.
Don't skip around. See everything as you go. One of the biggest mistakes is walking from one end of the park to the other to see specific attractions and, then, suddenly, you find you want to see something else on the other extreme. In the Magic Kingdom, which is the best of the parks, I start in Adventureland and work around, clockwise. Don't be intimidated by long lines, if there are any. They move faster than you think. I've learned that it's pointless to skip an attraction and think you'll come back later when the line might be shorter. It won't. Do it while you're there.
Take comfortable shoes. Epcot is the real killer. That's the park that could be called ``Olympic walk time.'' That lake in the middle of the World Showcase is a killer, because you have to walk around it. There are two ways to beat the Epcot blisters. One, take a boat across. Two, the double-decker trams that circle World Showcase. .
Still, Epcot is the only real walking challenge. The Magic Kingdom is compact and you can get a great deal done quickly. The Disney-MGM Studios park is, also, smallish and can be conquered.
Get yourself in the right frame of mind to deal with standing in line. Take along something to read. Use the time to study park maps, and plan. People-watch. (You'll meet people in line, and it's great to compare notes on what they've seen.) Every time you turn a turnstile, there's a different view of the park. The lines are a way of absorbing views you'd otherwise rush by. Either conquer your natural hatred of standing in line or you're in trouble.
Get there early and be relentless. Some people advise you to go back to the hotel and take a swim in midday. Forget it. Only nonachievers take breaks. My experience is that you can see most of the three parks in three days. A tip: If you get there early, you might head directly for one of the most popular attractions - Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean - and get through those before the lines are longest. If you get to the Magic Kingdom early, you might take the train at the entrance to get deep into the park before the crowd.
There's something to be said for staying late, too. The little darlings either pass out or have been dragged back to their hotels, so adults have a run. If you're going to do ``Snow White's Adventures,'' ``Mr. Toad's Wild Ride'' or ``Peter Pan's Flight,'' save them until late - the last thing before closing. The children will be gone.
Check operating hours closely, especially if you're buying a three-park pass. Usually Epcot is open later than the Magic Kingdom, so do Epcot at night. (The laser-beam and fireworks show on Epcot's World Showcase lake is a knockout.)
Don't stop to eat. When you do eat, don't have lunch during the lunch hour. Late afternoon, 4 p.m. or so, is a good time to whisk through the fast-food places and get new energy.
Rush quickly after the afternoon parade to some popular attraction. The line will be limited at that time, but, if you wait until the parade crowd disperses, the lines will be back. The afternoon parade, in the Magic Kingdom, is a must-see. If you've seen it already, though, the parade time is a great chance to avoid lines at rides. MAKING CHOICES
If you can see only one park: The Magic Kingdom, the best, most entertaining, and still the fairest of all. Adults enjoy Epcot, but I've always found it a little too educational - and almost like a glorified shopping mall. The Disney-MGM Studio is the smallest of the parks and can be covered in the shortest time.
The best hotel: The Grand Floridian offers superb service, but it's expensive (from $255 to $485). The second-best is the Polynesian Resort (from $210), because it's on the Magic Kingdom monorail and because it gives you the illusion, once you're on the grounds, of being in an entire other world, quiet and isolated. For a dining adventure, there is the afternoon luau there, complete with hula girls and a surfing Goofy.
Bargain hotel: The new All-Star Sports Resort and All-Star Rock Music hotels are sights to behold, with huge jukeboxes, Coke bottles or footballs as ornaments. The inventive design does much to hide the fact that these are quite routine motellike quarters. Prices start at $69 per night. These are the most economical on the property. And incidentally, the best thing about staying on the Disney property is the awesome transportation system. Buses and monorails link the three parks.
Best restaurant: It's Chefs de France, the superb restaurant in the France Pavilion of Epcot's World Showcase. Braised beef Burgundy is fine. So is roasted red snapper wrapped in potato with red wine lobster sauce. It's not cheap but, compared to French restaurants in the outside world, the price is not bad. Second best: Japan's restaurant (with the chef performing for you at your table). Most fun restaurant in Epcot: Germany, with all that thigh-slapping and singing. Most overrated restaurant: England's entry. Most adventurous: Morocco.
Choose ONLY one? If you could see one attraction, and one attraction only, in the entire park, take Pirates of the Caribbean. TOP 10 ATTRACTIONS
1. Pirates of the Caribbean
2. Tower of Terror
3. Splash Mountain
4. Star Force
5. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
6. The Haunted Mansion
7. Space Mountain
8. Bear Country Jamboree
9. Mark Twain Riverboat
10. The Jungle Cruise
How could we have left out . . . Jim Henson's Muppet Vision 3D and The Voyage of the Little Mermaid?
OK, so we left out some of your favorites. It's one person's opinion and I'd like to put the Tiki Birds on the list, but I've had enough arguments with fellow travelers who never want to go see the Tiki Birds. (They're animatronic birds dating back to the 1964 World's Fair when Walt himself had a hand in designing them, and they do a spirited rendition of ``Let's All Sing Like the Birdies Sing.'')
A few thoughts on the choices.
Pirates of the Caribbean remains the very best of animatronic creations, even at its age. You ride on a boat through a pirate war, with shelling from a ship threatening, and a few, mild, waterfalls.
Tower of Terror is the newest thrill ride. Be not afraid. It's manageable. It's a 13-story drop, but what the hey.
Splash Mountain is an outgrowth of one of my favorite Disney films, ``Song of the South.'' It's a regrettable contrast in that the first half of the ride is a pleasant trip through Bre'r Rabbit country - something the little ones would like - but it's climaxed by a five story, six story (who's counting) drop - straight down into water. It seems these two should be separated into two different rides.
Star Force comes from those ``Star Wars'' flicks and is a simulated jet-training venture. On the screen, there are rushing objects that convince your mind that you're crashing through space. The entire chamber shakes and screeches to stops and starts. A great ride.
Both Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and Space Mountain are merely glorified roller coasters. The first has Western vistas in the quiet moments. The second, which I've always thought was overrated and really not very Disneyish, is just a roller coaster in the dark. It's the darkness, though, that makes the difference. You can't see when the dips are coming, so it's tension time.
The ride most likely to make you sick? It's neither Tower of Terror nor Space Mountain. The one time I felt queasy was on Alice's tea cups in the ride called ``Mad Tea Party.'' Beware. The cups spin. It's a simple ride but more lethal than its more-publicized terrors.
The Haunted Mansion gets my vote as one of the wittiest ventures. It isn't scary at all, but it makes fun of scary things. ``There's no turning back now,'' the booming voice laughs as you realize that the entry room has no doors.
Bear Country Jamboree is perhaps the funniest of the animatronic outings. There's the Mae West bear, who swings as she purrs. There's the bear who sings ``Two Different Worlds'' to express the fact that the world doesn't understand his romance with a squid. Big Al is the lazy emcee. A trio of beach bums sings ``Wish They Could All Be California Bears.''
The Mark Twain Riverboat ride, around the ``rivers of the world,'' is our own private moment of quiet. The paddlewheel is one of the best-preserved remnants of the Mississippi River steamer era.
The Jungle Cruise, the very first ride opened in a Disney park, remains a treat - complete with elephants that threaten to squirt you and alligators that rise in the boat's path. The guides are reckless, irreverent types who sometimes say things you'd never expect to hear in Disney World, depending on which one you get.
The Muppet 3-D venture doesn't have enough of superstar Miss Piggy, but it has a good deal of wit - complete with totally wrecking the theater as a grand finale. Kermit and Miss Piggy probably deserve a park all their own.
The Voyage of the Little Mermaid is a stage show, featuring the music from that film, and undersea effects. It runs every 30 minutes, but there's always a messy line. WHAT'S NEW?
So you've been to the parks before and you've seen most of it. Here are new things to look for.
The Tower of Terror - Inspired by The Twilight Zone, this is the Haunted Mansion attraction with a grand finale. You ride through dark corridors with cobwebs and such. Suddenly, a door opens and you are facing open air. It's a stunning experience. You are overlooking the Studio Theme Park from some 15 stories up and - you fall. They claim the fall is 13 stories, and you won't question it. Don't hesitate to try it. It's not as bad as it sounds.
Legend of the Lion King - How can they make a stage show of ``The Lion King''? After all, most of those characters were four-legged beings - difficult for mere humans to convey. This, in effect, is a glorified puppet show. They're called ``Disney Humanimals'' officially. The Elton John-Tim Rice songs are intact. The show runs every 30 minutes, but there's always a big line.
The NEW Tomorrowland - They claim they spent $100 million on the new ``land,'' but I must admit the look is a bit disappointing - a bit like a Buck Rogers treatment. The Carousel of Progress, in operation since the 1964 World's Fair, has been updated. The old Star-Jets Ride is now called the Astro Orbiter, but it's essentially the same ride. The biggest attraction, ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter is not yet ready. The stage-ride will eventually feature a monster on the loose but, according to rumor, the attraction didn't elicit yells when it was tested a few months ago. The sound timing was off and it's back to the drawing board.
Transportarium - Replacing the familiar Circle-Vision attraction in Tomorrowland is a new Circle-Vision, 360-degree theater. It's a travel through time with a robot (Robin Williams) as your guide.
Honey, I Shrunk the Audience - Replacing Michael Jackson's 3-D ``Captain EO'' (wonder why?) is this very funny idea that has Rick Moranis and a doggie that threatens to do-do on the audience. The 3-D screen gives us the illusion that we've been shrunk. When the doggie walks, he shakes the whole theater. Much better than the mean-spirited ``Captain EO,'' which never should have been allowed in the park in the first place.
Mickey Mania Parade - An obsession with Mickey is the theme of this humorous parade. There's Mickey in balloons, Mickey in clocks, Mickey in music and motion. Performing every afternoon in the Magic Kingdom, it's a real treat. OTHER THINGS TO SEE
In the Magic Kingdom...
If you want a quick overview, take a train ride around the entire park. The trains are only seven minutes apart.
The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse has always been a personal favorite. OK, so you just climb stairs and nothing really moves, but the view of Adventureland from the top is great. Skip Tom Sawyer Island; there's nothing much over there. Skip the Diamond Horseshoe Jamboree, unless you've seen everything else. It's a routine Western saloon show featuring humans.
The Hall of Presidents is fine - with every U.S. President in animatronics. (Some of them are more animated here than they were in office.)
``It's a Small World'' is still life-affirming, even though it is one of the oldest attractions. Warning: Once you ride through it, you'll be humming that dad-blamed tune all day long.
The submarine ride, called ``20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,'' was being repaired on my last visit. It's very popular, but I've always thought the undersea sights could be a bit more elaborate.
Mickey's Starland is strictly for the little ones, although the furnishings in Mickey Mouse's house are quite funny. For an overview of everything, there's the Skyway - a great way to cross the park without walking.
In Epcot Center. . .
Epcot is divided into two parks, the World Showcase and Futureworld.
The World Showcase includes:
The boat ride in Mexico.
The more exciting boat ride in Norway, called Maelstrom (Viking longboats threatened by trolls - the best ride, and one of the few, in World Showcase).
The 360-degree movie, ``Wonders of China'' at China.
``The American Adventure'' - Animatronics history. (On the other side of the ledger, there's little or nothing to see, other than shops, at Italy, Germany, Canada, Great Britain or Japan.)
Futureworld includes:
Spaceship Earth, the ride inside that huge sphere that is so famous. It has always been something of a bore. It's been upgraded, but I preferred the voice of Walter Cronkite to that of Jeremy Irons. Funniest sight in the history of civilization is a frowning Mona Lisa who is being painted with that famous smile.
The movie theater at the Universe of Energy. If you are a dinosaur fan, you've got to get in. The theater separates into parts and you move through a prehistoric forest in which a dinosaur looks down upon you. In order to get this treat, though, you have to put up with a too-long film at the end.
Body Wars. It's Star Force all over again, but this time you're traveling through the human body rather than through space.
The boat ride through the greenhouse labs at ``The Land'' building. It's very interesting but you can skip the Journey Into Imagination ride. It tried to create creatures of its own rather than franchise anything familiar. Didn't work.
In the Disney-MGM Theme Park. . .
The Great Movie Ride is a must-see, but it should be better. Turning John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Gene Kelly and other stars into animatronic creations was risky. The trouble is we know them so well. Best thing about the movie ride is the clips at the end.
The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular is too long, but the payoff is big in the finale - explosions, falls, etc. All the talk with members of the audience, though, is a little, well, talky. For my part, you can skip all those audience-participation shows in this park. They're done just as well in other parks, and Disney World shouldn't bother. In this category are things like SuperStar Television, the Monster Sound Show and others.
The Beauty and the Beast stage show has all the music from the soundtrack and, just think, the Broadway edition costs more than $65. This one is free (if you're in the park already).
The Backstage Tour, a tram ride through the backlot, is highlighted by Disaster Canyon - an explosion, a shaking, and tons of water pouring down upon you.
If you can do all this without stepping on a child, consider it a major achievement.
With this year's push, there is a real chance that adults can actually take over the parks. Unite! ILLUSTRATION: Color photos
Disney thrill include the fireworks show at the Magic Kingdom and
the watery plunge at Splash Mountain.
Photos
An audience giggles its way through a showing of the 3-D movie
``Honey, I Shrunk the Audience.''
The $100 million renovation of Tomorrowland is something of a
disappointment.
Graphic
TRAVELER'S ADVISORY
WALT DISNEY WORLD consists of three ``kingdoms'': the Magic
Kingdom, Epcot and Disney-MGM Studios. Also, Pleasure Island, a
six-acre nightclub-themed park with clubs open from 7 p.m. to 2
a.m., a shopping village, a zoological park and a new water park.
Location: 20 miles southwest of Orlando, Fla.
Accommodations: 23 resorts, including 20 hotels, a campground,
vacation villas and vacation club. Rates range between $35 for the
campground to $275 for the Disney Village Resort villas. Free
shuttle service to the various attractions is available from the
Disney-owned resorts, as well as the Swan (operated by Westin) and
the Dolphin (operated by Sheraton) hotels. There are also many
non-Disney accommodations in the area. For hotels within the Walt
Disney resort call (407) W-DISNEY or a travel agent.
Dining: There are some excellent dining spots; some feature
dinner shows. But reservations should be made at least a day in
advance. The pocket-sized Walt Disney World Guidebook published by
American Express offers insight into the varying cuisines and is
available at the concierge desk. Watch out for the standard
greasy-upset-tummy places.
Recreation: Five golf courses, River Country water park, tennis
courts, pools and lakes for boating, swimming, water skiing and
fishing. Also bicycling and horseback riding.
Entry fees: Prices vary according to the package purchased.
One-day, one-park tickets are $37 for those over 10, $30 for
children 3-9, free for children under 3. A one-year pass to
everything is $319 for ages 10 and over. For information call (407)
824-4321.
by CNB