THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, May 4, 1995 TAG: 9505030042
SECTION: FLAVOR PAGE: F1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MARY FLACHSENHAAR, SPECIAL TO FLAVOR
LENGTH: Long : 158 lines
WE EAT ON the run, in our cars, at our desks.
We no longer dine. We graze.
Nutritionists assure us that we can nourish our bodies well with this '90s style of eating.
Physically, we might be better off eating five wholesome snacks a day rather than three square meals. Mentally and spiritually, however, we are malnourished.
Even when our microwave plates and carry-out boxes are filled with foods that are good for us, something is missing.
It's hard to find a name for this ingredient. It's not as tangible as salt or pepper, but it's just as basic.
Call it ambiance. Call it comfort. Call it soul.
It is what author Laurie Colwin is talking about in her book of essays, ``More Home Cooking'' (HarperCollins, 1993), when she writes: ``The table is a meeting place, a gathering ground, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivity, safety and satisfaction.''
When we eat without slowing down and sitting down, when we omit all sense of ceremony, a meal is just the sum of its calories. It could be - and should be - so much more, say those who study mealtime in America.
At least one observer of the food scene says the statistic that one third of Americans is overweight is a clue that something is amiss.
``The fact that we're all getting fatter tells me we're less satisfied when we eat,'' said Sarah Fritschner, food editor of the Louisville (Ky.) Courier-Journal.
``We eat bland food that's easy to chew,'' she said. ``We eat it quickly. What we eat doesn't register in the brain, although it might register briefly in the stomach.''
So we eat more than we should in search of a physical fullness to substitute for the emotional fullness that's missing.
Those who have preserved the tradition of family mealtimes cherish the feelings of satisfaction that come with breaking bread together.
``The human value of food is so important,'' said Jo Ann Dorrepaal, who lives with her husband, Mark, and three children in Norfolk. She serves a family dinner in their Larchmont home nightly.
On the evenings he must work, Mark, a math teacher at Old Dominion University, is reluctantly absent from the table. He is taking steps to change his schedule for next semester so he can always be home for dinner.
The menu at the Dorrepaals may be simple - chicken, baked potato, salad, fruit - but the half hour or so the family shares is precious.
``It is so easy for a family's day to get fractured,'' said Jo Ann, who works one or two days a week as an operating-room nurse.
``The meal pulls us back together again. It is like reinforcing a basket.''
With the children's busy school and sports schedules, it often seems there's no time to share an evening meal. But Jo Ann makes time.
``If I let the kids have their way, they might just grab a plate and sit in front of the TV,'' she said. ``But when we are all together at the table, I find out so much about their day.''
Important food rituals
Dinnertime, '50s style, works for the Dorrepaals. But not for many other families. But that doesn't mean those who are unable to make every dinner a social time must do without the comfort that food rituals bring.
``Don't assume someone else's mantle,'' advised Fritschner of the Louisville Courier-Journal.
``You might wake up one morning and decide that every night you'll do a family meal, and then kick yourself three nights later when it doesn't work.''
These hectic days, the family cook must blend the agendas of everyone in the household, added Fritschner, who tries to merge her schedule with those of her husband, who is a teacher and tennis coach, and their two young children.
Today's families, alternative families and singles should take on the challenge of re-inventing the meal, of creating their own meaningful food rituals, said Fritschner and others in the field.
``Given the way life is now, there may be time for a family to have just one meal a week together,'' said dietitian Colleen Pierre, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association.
This might be as traditional as the old-fashioned, home-cooked Sunday dinner or as contemporary as store-bought pizza every Friday night. Whatever the ritual, it should be ``almost sacred,'' said Pierre who, in her Baltimore, Md., practice, counsels families on finding ways to eat together.
``Interaction is critical,'' she said.
A steady diet of fast foods and convenience foods might gain precious minutes.
``But we are absolutely losing something, and that is socialization and our knowledge of how to interact,'' Pierre said. The table is a place for children to learn manners and respect for elders and for everyone to practice the art of conversation, she said.
Once or twice a month, Pierre and her husband get together with a group of friends for a home-cooked dinner.
``Potato salad from the deli is not allowed,'' she said. ``We do it the old-fashioned way. The hosts do all the cooking.''
For two years, food editor Fritschner and her family have participated in a Thursday night ritual with another family.
``We serve the kids first. They might eat french fries and fish sticks,'' she said. ``Later the adults eat, maybe recipes I'm testing for the job.
``Remember that dinner is not the only communal table you can have,'' added Fritschner, whose family is also hooked on the habit of a shared Sunday breakfast. ``And remember that if dinner is your meal, it doesn't have to be the pot roast and potatoes our mothers cooked.''
Fritschner's new book, ``Express Lane Cookbook'' (Chapters, 1995), is subtitled ``Real Meals for Really Busy People.'' The wholesome recipes reflect her philosophy that Americans should eat foods with more chew and more flavor.
``We have to settle down and confront food,'' she said. ``We do too much eating incidentally, not enough deliberately. We need to make more of a production of eating.''
Fritschner also understands that we need to make less of a production of cooking. Her recipes require little preparation time.
The wise family will make the most of preparation time, using it as an opportunity for communal exchange, said dietitian Pierre.
``There is a tremendous possibility for interaction and bonding in the cooking process,'' she said. ``From age 3 or 4 on, the kids can all have jobs.''
When Pierre's three children were teens, the five family members rotated kitchen jobs each evening: cook, salad maker, table setter, dish washer, dish dryer. Planning menus and shopping once every two weeks saved time.
``We're all tired at the end of the day,'' she said. ``But if you rely on a pre-set menu and family help in the kitchen, you'll be less tempted to stop for fast food on the way home from work.''
When you do need to rely on fast or convenience foods, the time you save cooking should be spent with family or friends, she said.
``We can get tremendous emotional comfort in eating foods we like with people we love,'' Pierre said.
Meals aren't always comfy
Getting comfort from food this way is not only acceptable, it's desirable. Relying on the food itself to provide comfort is undesirable.
``We get in trouble if we go off alone and use food as a replacement for human interaction,'' she said. ``We get in trouble when we eat too much food to please the person who prepared it.''
Food does not always equal comfort. Far too many scenes in books, movies and real life are reminders that the communal table is not always a place of solace.
Norfolk therapist Mary Johnston points to the stereotypical family meal where anger and criticism are regularly dished out with the food.
``A dysfunctional family might avoid meals together because nobody wants food stuck in their throat,'' said Johnston, a licensed professional counselor with Consultants in Nutritional Services in Norfolk.
``Feeding others can be a very caring and nurturing act,'' she added. ``But if people don't know how to do that, they might rely on things like a Boston cream pie, which looks more like a reward than something more healthful, but really isn't.''
Every day, many of us make a good case for eating fast food, eating alone, skipping a meal. In ``More Home Cooking,'' Colwin makes an eloquent case for perpetuating the art of cooking and the art of eating together:
``We must march into the kitchen, en famille, or with a friend, and find some easy, heartwarming things to make from scratch and even if it is but once a week, we must gather at the table, alone or with friends or with lots of friends or with one friend, and eat a meal together. We know that without food we would die. Without fellowship life is not worth living.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color illustration by Ken Wright
by CNB