THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, May 11, 1995 TAG: 9505100166
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 18 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY TRUDY CUTHRELL, CORRESPONDENT
DATELINE: SUFFOLK LENGTH: Long : 127 lines
Virgie Smith had a rocky home life in her growing-up years. But that deepened her resolve to provide her own children with a stable environment.
The Suffolk native's philosophy of motherhood was fine-tuned as she raised eight children.
``Being home with my children were some of the best days of my life,'' she said.
``I decided when I started a family I'd give them the best - a good home, an education and faith.'' Her husband supported her objectives and worked as a trucker to provide the financial resources for his growing family.
Today, the eight Smith children, from 27 to 39 years old, are proof that Mom's philosophy works.
``They're all good kids.'' Smith boasted.
All of them applaud the homespun philosophy their Mom used to make them happy, responsible and productive individuals.
Here's some of her advice:
See that your children have a close relationship to God.
Involve your children in Sunday School and church and surround them with books and things that teach them about God. ``It's the best thing that ever happened to us,'' Smith says.
Tell your children often that you love them.
To words of love add actions, hugs and kisses. Then, notes Smith, when the times of discipline come, they will know you love them unconditionally.
Teach children strong moral values.
``Tell them not to lie or steal, to be honest," Smith said. ``My mother taught me that if you do wrong things, you'll get caught sooner or later. It's better to just do right.''
Teach boys to treat girls with respect.
``I taught my boys to treat girls like they treated me or their sisters - always with respect,'' Smith explained. ``And when they didn't, they got it from me!''
Allow children to make choices.
``That's how they learn to be responsible.''
Help children choose the right friends.
According to Smithology, this is an important key to successful parenting, especially during the adolescent years. Parental supervision and involvement are two other essential ingredients.
Do fun things together.
Bike rides, jumping rope and watching TV as a family were everyday fun times at the Smith house. Friday nights were family outings back when you could get a Carol's hamburger for 15 cents.
When life gets tough, Smith prescribes a big dose of family fun to make the going easier.
Establish and maintain good communication.
Talk to your kids and ask open-ended questions. Also, be a good listener.
``Little ones can send big messages,'' Smith noted. Even now that Smith's kids are all adults, the lines are still open.
Watch the news and read together.
Smith encouraged her children to watch the news and keep up on current events. A good supply of books and quiet times for reading also helped broaden their minds.
Make your children a top priority in your schedule.
Smith encourages moms to spend lots of quality time with each child. Especially to those who work outside the home, she recommends involvement in school activities, PTA, sports events and church.
When times get tough, take time out.
``Find a quiet place to think and pray,'' then approach the situation once you're calm.
When problems persist, ask for help.
She recommends a close friend, your minister or a school teacher as good sources of counsel.
Enjoy the seasons of life.
For years, Smith found fulfillment as a stay-at-home mom. Now she's enjoying friendship with her grown children and spoiling her seven grandchildren. She's also discovered the joys of shopping. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MICHAEL KESTNER
``I decided when I started a family I'd give them the best - a good
home, an education and faith,'' says Virgie Smith
Graphic
A MOTHER'S INSPIRATION
Smith invests part of her free time writing poetry based on her
real-life experiences. Here's a sample of her Smith-style
inspiration:
Words of inspiration
Are spoken by God,
They are written in the Bible
And should be kept within the heart.
If your work day is hectic
And the hours are too long,
Words of inspiration
Can always be found in a song.
When you are burdened
And you don't know what to do,
Sing the words to this hymn
``God will take care of you.''
Sometimes friends forsake you,
They all seem to be gone
Just remember Jesus said,
He will never leave you alone.
When tragedies of life assail you,
And all you can do is cry,
``Just have a little talk with Jesus,
He will answer by and by.''
There is always sickness in life,
One right after another,
But things will get better
If you ``tell Jesus all about your troubles.''
Children will be a problem,
And you want to shout, ``Why me?''
But ``must Jesus bear the cross alone
And all the world go free?''
These songs of inspiration
Were written just for you,
Always ask the Savior to help
``And He will carry you through.''
I'm proud to be your mother
To inspire you while I can,
If there's a time I can't be near you
Sing ``Precious Lord, take my hand.''
- Virgie Smith
by CNB