THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, May 21, 1995 TAG: 9505210041
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: ELIZABETH SIMPSON
LENGTH: Medium: 67 lines
Like a lot of men, my husband spends a fair amount of time casting his fishing pole and screaming at the radio during Orioles games.
Unlike most men, he also cooks a mean crawfish etouffee, knows how to use Clorox to get stains out of clothes and picks up the kids every day after school.
Those last qualities establish him as a rarity in the annals of the American working woman.
You can see just how rare he is if you look at the particulars of the latest study on women. According to the study, by the Families and Work Institute, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
What's changed? The face of the wage-earner. Bringing home the bacon is no longer the domain of the male of the species. Women in nearly half of our households bring in as much or more than men. We're no longer buying ``the little extras'' for our families. We're supplying the houses we live in, the food we eat.
Surely that should have occurred to those of us toiling away out here, but now it's validated in pie charts.
Now let's look at what hasn't changed - housework. It still exists. And women still do it. Not all of it, maybe, but most of it. At the end of a day of wrangling in the boardroom and banging out cars on the assembly line, women are going home to a pile of dirty laundry. And the microwave. And the vacuum cleaner.
One study, in fact, shows women work four times as long at housework in a week than men.
And now for the final startling revelation. Both of these studies say women are in a time crunch. No kidding.
So, who to blame here? Maybe men. They're always a handy target. Are they too busy playing quick-draw with the TV remote, too embarrassed to be seen with the dust mop?
Sorry, though. Even though it would be fun, we can't blame the guys for everything.
Women, it seems to me, are loath to give up their traditional domain, even if there's a '90s kind of guy around to lighten the load. They want to do it all. They like being Super Moms. Their image as woman is tied into homemaking as securely as the knot in June Cleaver's apron.
My suspicion is that whether they want to admit it or not, women don't think the men can do it. At least not up to women's white-gloved standards.
Here, then, are a couple of humble suggestions for family life in the '90s.
Men, lose the La-Z-Boys. Take a stab at cooking. Take the vacuum for a spin around the living room.
And ladies, let it go. Get your heads out of the Clorox bottles, and come up for some fresh air. You learned to share the bills; you ought to share the home front as well. Throw away the white gloves, and give the guys some practice keeping the home fires burning.
While I can understand wanting to spend as much time as possible with the kids, women's attachment to the mop has got to go.
I have to admit that I have felt pangs of guilt for not ``doing it all'' like my own mother did. My house isn't as clean; my closets aren't as organized. And the fact that my husband cooks most of the meals at our house has resulted in more than one raised eyebrow.
But I've gotten over it. The time my husband spends in the kitchen, I get to spend playing with the kids.
And that's the kind of job-sharing I can appreciate. by CNB