THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, May 25, 1995 TAG: 9505250060
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ESTHER DISKIN, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 203 lines
IT'S MEN'S night at First Baptist Church of Norfolk. About 275 of them, grandfathers, dads and a few single guys, stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the pews, bouncing bass ``Alleluias'' to the rafters.
Some high-testosterone teaching lies ahead: Clips from a football movie, a sermon extolling military friendship tested in a ``hail of bullets,'' and images of Jesus Christ as a ``prayer warrior.''
The Rev. Robert Reccord, the church pastor, preaches a blend of the Bible and modern combat stories. He compares a Bible passage about Christ's sending messengers in pairs to the Army Rangers on patrol.
``Jesus gave them a Ranger buddy!'' Reccord says. After a tale of heroism in Vietnam: ``When the bullets are flying around me, I need to know there are guys who are willing to come when I am hit.''
That's the muscular side of Promise Keepers, a men-only spiritual awakening founded in 1990 by former University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney. The movement, which has its heart in the Christian evangelical community, sold out stadiums from coast to coast last summer for two-day events of singing, praying and soul-searching.
The 13-city schedule for 1995 began a few weeks ago. It pulled in 72,280 at the Silverdome outside Detroit and 72,500 at Memorial Stadium in Los Angeles. An event at RFK Stadium in Washington D.C., which starts Friday and ends Saturday, sold out in March.
Hundreds of men from Hampton Roads will brave Memorial Day weekend traffic to be there. Mega-churches like First Baptist Church of Norfolk and Bethel Temple in Hampton are sending groups of more than 200. Some local organizers spent hours on the phone, hunting and often begging for tickets, only to be shut out.
Inside the stadium, the men get fired up by a parade of speakers like author Tony Evans, evangelical pastors E.V. Hill and Jack Hayford, and founder McCartney. They sing. They huddle in intimate circles to pray. Some are moved to tears.
And, in what is becoming a ritual at Promise Keepers events, they stomp their feet and chant, ``We love Jesus; yes, we do! We love Jesus; how 'bout you?''
But the movement has a quiet side, which plays out far away from the sports arenas.
Every morning around 6 a.m., Norfolk lawyer Randy Singer hears the phone ring. It's a friend from his six-man Christian study group calling to remind him to start the day with a moment of prayer and study.
To some, the daily ringing could drive a guy crazy. For Singer, who jokes that he has been ``spastic in his devotional life,'' it's discipline from a friend.
``As a man, we want to go it alone, and that's not always the best way,'' he says. ``Having a prayer time in the morning doesn't change the circumstances of the day, but it changes my attitude and my heart in facing those circumstances.''
Singer helps lead Bottom Line, a men's group closely modeled on Promise Keepers that First Baptist Church of Norfolk kicked off in January. Since then, the once-a-month meetings have drawn 275 to 500 men, many of whom are going to the Washington rally.
Singer urges them to join ``accountability groups,'' small gatherings of men who meet weekly to hold each other accountable for living by Christian principles. Those include fidelity to wife or partner, integrity in business, quality time for family and Bible study.
His message hits home: 246 of the 275 men in the pews come forward to sign up.
``The muscle, the excitement, comes from the big movement. The heartbeat is in the smaller groups,'' Singer says. ``If the movement is going to have any meaning, it will come out of the friendships that develop.''
While men need support to deal with stress, from career to family, they are sometimes loath to admit it, says Dennis Careatti, who also helped start the church's group.
``Women have a tendency to be open about just about anything. Men try to put a false face on it, say that everything is great when things are hurting,'' he says.
First Baptist of Norfolk, with 6,000 members, is one of a few churches in the area with a men's group already organized along the lines of Promise Keepers. Several churches are hoping that the energy from the Washington rally will spur a revival of spirit among men, who typically - and cheerfully - take a back seat to women when it comes to church activities.
``In the church community in the U.S., in general, women have typically taken a strong leadership role,'' from Sunday school teaching to missionary work, says Reccord, First Baptist's pastor. ``Men have been somewhat passive.''
George Thomas, of the 600-member Calvary Evangelical Baptist Church in Portsmouth, has organized 21 men from the church to attend the Promise Keepers rally. When they return, he hopes to set up a mentoring program.
``The young boys without a father figure will be able to have an adoptive-type parent to do things with them,'' he says. The activities won't be limited to Bible study but will tackle practical skills like balancing a checkbook and tuning up a car.
Even before the rally, Thomas says he's felt a surge of energy. About 200 men showed up in December to hear an inspirational speaker on men's roles and responsibility. Since then, about 40 have attended monthly meetings to pray, sing and talk about future events, like the Promise Keepers rally.
``Anticipation of it is a good start,'' Thomas says. ``Some of the men are showing interest and excitement.''
The car trip up to Washington may prove a fertile time for generating ideas: McCartney claims he got the brainstorm to start Promise Keepers during a 140-mile drive from Boulder, Colo., to Pueblo. That was back in 1990, when he was still Colorado football coach.
He was driving with an official with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and the two men pondered a question: If you had one thing to do with your life, and money wasn't a concern, what would you do?
Promise Keepers is the answer. It's been a profitable one: The group's annual budget rose from $4 million to $22 million between 1993 and 1994, and the staff grew from 29 to 150 in the same period, according to Christianity Today's cover story in February.
A book of essays, ``The Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper,'' has been on the Christian Book Sellers' best-seller list for more than a year. Other businesses are chasing a hit: The publisher of Charisma magazine launched a Promise Keepers magazine, New Man, and Maranatha Music released a CD and cassette. The name and logo of Promise Kepers are registered trademarks.
It's grown so big that McCartney - who once said the Lord hadn't called him to be a preacher - quit his coaching job after Colorado's team won the Fiesta Bowl this year.
Though the crowds at Promise Keepers rallies are overwhelmingly white, the organization gets high marks for its commitment to diversity. In its brochures and videos, ethnic faces are always displayed. McCartney is outspoken about his eagerness to wrap racial reconciliation into his movement.
Marriage is at the center of the movement's mission, and McCartney is unabashed in his denunciation of homosexuality. In 1992, he called homosexuals ``an abomination against Almighty God'' and publicly supported Amendment 2, a measure aimed at blocking civil rights for homosexuals that recently was struck down by Colorado's supreme court.
Though Promise Keepers calls men to build strong marriages and families, it has drawn criticism for its leaders' assertions that men should be the undisputed spiritual leaders of their families. Women do not serve on the Promise Keepers board or speak at the conventions, though a few work at merchandise booths at conventions.
In ``The Seven Promise of a Promise Keeper,'' Tony Evans says that ``the feminization of men'' is mainly responsible for the decline of the family. He tells men to reclaim their leadership: ``Don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I'm not suggesting that you ask for your role back; I'm urging that you take it back. . . . There can be no compromise here. If you're going to lead, you must lead. Be sensitive. Listen. Treat the lady gently and lovingly. But lead!''
First Baptist's Bottom Line ministry is designed to teach men that they are equal partners with their wives in marriage and family life, Singer said. ``But a man has to bring spiritual leadership into the home. If the family is not where it needs to be spiritually, he needs to take responsibility.''
Both Singer and the Reccord say that many women have praised the ministry for getting their husbands more involved in family life.
To women like Sandy Broughton, a Virginia Beach mother of five who encouraged her husband, Mark, to attend the rally in Washington, the message that men should lead their families is part of Christian good sense.
``God has said he is the leader of the family and the church,'' she said. ``We're talking about position, not power. My position is under his authority, it doesn't mean I have any less power.''
For his part, 37-year-old Mark Broughton says he probably would have stayed home if not for his wife's urging. ``I don't go to men's retreats, men's breakfasts . . . because every moment I am away with these men, I'm not with my best friend,'' he said. ``I find it a strain. I would rather be taking a walk around the block with her.''
He's inspired by the movement's message of building strong marriages and strengthening fathers' roles. He's making the trip a family affair: He'll be going with his father, brother, father-in-law, brother-in-law and a friend.
``We'll be all together in the van driving up and back,'' he said. ``I'll cherish those hours as much as any part of the conference.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color Staff illustration by Sam Hundley
Graphic
PROMISE KEEPERS
What is Promise Keepers? A men-only spiritual movement that holds
revival-style rallies across the country. In 1994, 278,600 men
attended rallies in seven cities. This year, organizers expect to
draw more than half a million men on a 13-city tour.
Who started it? Bill McCartney, University of Colorado's former
football coach, came up with the idea in 1990. McCartney quit his
coaching position this year, saying he wanted to devote more time to
his family.
How big is it? The annual budget has grown from $4 million in
1993 to $22 million in 1994.
Where is it? The conference at RFK Stadium in Washington this
Friday and Saturday is sold out. From June through October, the
movement will make stops in nine more cities, including Denver,
Atlanta, St. Petersburg and Dallas.
PROMISES THEY MAKE
Promise Keepers is a Christian men's spiritual movement. Members
commit to seven promises:
1. Honor Jesus Christ through prayer, worship and obedience to
His Word, in the power of the Holy Spirit
2. Pursue vital relationships with a small group of men,
understanding that brothers are needed to help keep promises
3. Practice spiritual, moral, ethical and sexual purity
4. Build strong marriages and families through love, protection
and biblical values
5. Support their churches' mission by honoring and praying for
the pastor and by actively giving time and resources
6. Reach beyond any racial and denominational barriers to
demonstrate the power of biblical unity
7. Influence the world, being obedient to the Great Commandment
(Mark 12:30-31 ``You shall love your neighbor as yourself'') and the
Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20 ``Go therefore and make disciples
of all nations'').
KEYWORDS: PROMISE KEEPERS by CNB