THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, May 26, 1995 TAG: 9505260043
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: LISTEN UP!
SOURCE: SMITHA AND JONATHAN
LENGTH: Medium: 56 lines
Dear Smitha and Jonathan,
I'm 16 years old, and my dad's job requires us to move a lot (I've been to four schools in the past four years). We've been here for the three months, but for some reason, this move has been harder than usual.
Instead of thinking about making friends and getting involved in school, I've locked myself in my room, crying and thinking about suicide. My parents won't listen, and if I tell them, they'll feel worse than they already do about the move. But if I don't get help, I don't know what I am going to do. - Down
Dear Down,
Moving is really difficult. Forty million Americans change homes every year, and the average American moves 12 times in his or her lifetime. Moving is probably even harder on teenagers because we value our friends more than just about anything else. Meanwhile, you're at a point where you're trying to establish yourself, and moving takes that all away from you. Even though there are good things about moving, like meeting new people and seeing different parts of the world, we can understand that there are still enough reasons to cry.
However, that doesn't mean you don't need to get yourself out of it - especially if you've thought about suicide even once. You need immediate help. Don't be afraid to reach out to a guidance counselor at school or perhaps a favorite teacher. You can also call the Covenant House Nine Line at (800) 999-9999 or the Suicide-Crisis Prevention Line at 399-6393 to talk anonymously to people willing to listen and help you feel better.
We do, however, think you should start with your parents, even though you are hesitant to approach them. You say they ``won't listen'' to you, but then you say you haven't told them how you feel for fear of making them feel worse. Which is it?
If they don't know how upset you are, they can't help you. They could help by paying the phone bills for your calls to your old friends or by letting you travel to visit them. If you are worried about upsetting them, think about how upset they would be if you hurt yourself.
They're lucky to have a daughter or son who has rolled with the moves up until now and who is mature enough to realize that it is not their fault. Please talk to someone and let us know how you are doing. Remember that you have only been here for three months, and getting comfortable in a new place is hard and takes time. MEMO: Smitha Gottimukkala is a senior at Norfolk Academy. Jonathan Kolm is a
senior at Tallwood High. Their column appears biweekly in Teenology.
They accept questions on INFOLINE. Call 640-5555 and enter category
8335. Or write to them at 4565 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va.
23462. by CNB