THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, May 31, 1995 TAG: 9505310019
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E3 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: BOOK REVIEW
SOURCE: BY PEGGY DEANS EARLE
LENGTH: Medium: 71 lines
ONE MIGHT get the idea from ``If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him . . . '' (Ballantine Books, 276 pp., $20) that Virginia author Sharyn McCrumb doesn't think much of men. Not all of them, mind you. Just the middle-aged ones: You know, those miserable rats going through their so-called ``male menopause.'' They're the ones who up and trade in their longtime, faithful, adoring wives for those younger bimbo models. But not to worry; McCrumb sees that they get theirs.
McCrumb's eighth Elizabeth MacPherson novel has the lovely forensic anthropologist encountering, among other odd creatures, several of the above-mentioned rats. By the end, you may conclude that the only worthwhile male is one who is single, presumed dead or a species of sea mammal.
At any rate, Elizabeth travels to Danville, Va., to work for her lawyer-brother Bill and his partner, Ann Powell (A.P.) Hill. Elizabeth, in addition to the professional challenges awaiting her, has some heavy personal ones to contend with: Her boyfriend is missing at sea, and her parents are getting divorced. You see, her father ran off with . . . well, you know.
Elizabeth discovers that attorneys Bill and Hill are representing some rather odd clients at the moment. A.P., for example, has Eleanor Royden, charged with the first-degree murders of her ex-husband and his new, er, young wife. Eleanor's case bears a striking resemblance to that of true-life jilted wife Betty Broderick, late of talk shows, a book and a made-for-TV movie.
Like her real counterpart, Eleanor arrogantly shows no remorse for her crime, feeling completely justified for it. In fact, A.P.'s biggest problem is coming up with a defense. The jailed Eleanor complains:
``Now, will you get me some cigarettes and an Egyptian cotton towel, Sunshine? . . . I'll definitely go crazy if I don't get some creature comforts around here.''
``Good,'' said A.P. Hill. ``If you're crazy, I can defend you.''
Bill, on the other hand, has been tagged by Donna Jean Morgan, whose fundamentalist preacher husband recently introduced a second (teenaged) wife into the household. Donna Jean, unlike Eleanor, claims she doesn't want revenge. She simply wants to find a legal way to force hubby back into monogamy. What befalls her husband proves otherwise, however.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Bill are shocked to learn that their mother's new roommate may be more than just a platonic girlfriend. The roommate introduces Bill to yet another prospective client: a woman who wants legal counsel so she can officially marry her true love, a dolphin named Porky. The fate of the ``starboard-crossed lovers'' is somewhere beyond bizarre.
To this Mulligan stew, McCrumb adds a lethal dose of flashbacks to post-Civil War Danville and the mystery of Lucy Todhunter. Lucy's much older, abusive, Union Army veteran/carpetbagger husband is dying a slow, agonizing death. It appears he's been poisoned. . . . Was our Lucy responsible? And if so, how the heck did she do it?
McCrumb, who also has penned a popular Appalachian mystical/mystery series (including ``The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter'' and ``She Walks These Hills'') notable for its moody, folksy eeriness, goes for dark chuckles here - murder lite, if you will.
At such, she succeeds handily. And although one of the mysteries in ``If I'd Killed Him'' is easily solved, another twists cleverly. Throughout, the snappy one-liners are strategically scattered, like so much rat poison. MEMO: Peggy Deans Earle is a staff librarian. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
JERRY BAUER
Sharyn McCrumb has written eighth Elizabeth MacPherson mystery
novels.
by CNB