The Virginian-Pilot
                             THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Saturday, June 10, 1995                TAG: 9506090047
SECTION: DAILY BREAK              PAGE: E2   EDITION: FINAL 
TYPE: Movie Review 
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, MOVIE CRITIC 
                                             LENGTH: Medium:   79 lines

DON'T BOTHER TO MONKEY WITH ``CONGO''

IN SPITE OF all the money that went into ``Congo,'' the movie version of Michael Crichton's best-selling novel, it is impossible to take it seriously.

There are so many jungle cliches and phony accents that we either groan or laugh, just when we should be getting tense.

Perhaps the movie's ad campaign has created a wrong impression. The big-eyed gorilla on the posters is accompanied by a suggestion that we (the very humans who bought the tickets) are the ``endangered species.'' We are promised scares. Anyone who is scared by ``Congo'' had best buy extra locks for the door. They are extremely susceptible.

One suspects that ``Congo'' wants to be half ``Indiana Jones'' and half ``Aliens,'' but it can't quite make up its mind. The audience, in turn, may be puzzled as to whether it is meant to laugh or gasp.

Halfway through, some poor actor looks into the camera and, in all seriousness, announces that ``the myth of the killer gorilla is true.''

Sure. But where is Cheetah when you really need her?

Tim Curry, minus his nylons from ``The Rocky Horror Picture Show,'' spouts Romanian as if he's overdosed on goulash. He plays Herkermer Homolka, a money-grubber who goes into the African jungle to search for the Lost City of Zinj, a place where there are diamonds galore. Ho-hum! It's that old ``King Solomon's Mines'' plot again. If you're to believe the movies, there are more lost cities in Africa than there are kiddie toys in Michael Jackson's playroom.

If you think the plot about the lost city is pretty hackneyed, just wait. There are two other plots to consider.

It seems everyone has a motive to rush to the Congo. There's likely to be a traffic jam in the middle of that lost city.

Dylan Walsh, a University of Virginia graduate, plays a likable boy scientist who wants to return his favorite gorilla, Amy, to the wild. Since she is the world's most unique gorilla, it would seem unlikely that she'd be set loose, but, hey, this is plot No. 2. Amy, who speaks with the help of a translating glove she wears, says sweet things with the voice of a Shirley Temple sound-alike.

There's the germ of an interesting plot here. I kept suspecting that Amy was actually up to no good. When she got to the jungle, I suspected she'd switch over and become a wild thing - possibly seduced by some gorilla guy into turning on the humans and slaying all the bad actors. This turned out to be no more than the daydreams of a bored reviewer who, stymied by this movie, wanted to create another movie.

There are killer gorillas who come in during the final reel, but they're just routine killer gorillas. They make a lot of noise but, well, a growl is a growl.

The third plot is provided by Laura Linney (a good actress who works hard and can't hide the fact). She wants to find out what happened to her fiance. In the film's early shots, he screams and is mauled by something. His father, Mr. Money-bags, is played by none other than Joe Don Baker, who isn't walking as tall as he once did.

Jerry Goldsmith's score is better than the movie deserves.

``Congo'' is the first major mistake in a summer that has already netted several commercial blockbusters. Monkey see - monkey don't. ILLUSTRATION: MOVIE REVIEW

``Congo''

Cast: Dylan Walsh, Laura Linney, Ernie Hudson, Joe Don Baker, Tim

Curry

Director: Frank Marshall

Screenplay: John Patrick Shanley, based on the novel by Michael

Crichton

Music: Jerry Goldsmith

MPAA rating: PG-13 (killer gorillas provide some gore, reaction

to them nets some language)

Mal's rating: **

Locations: Chesapeake Square, Greenbrier in Chesapeake; Janaf,

Main Gate in Norfolk; Lynnhaven Mall, Pembroke, Surf-N-Sand in

Virginia Beach

by CNB