THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, June 25, 1995 TAG: 9506250197
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BOB MOLINARO
LENGTH: Medium: 72 lines
Darryl Strawberry's return to baseball may bother the White House and annoy some fans, but it has been a windfall for the comedy business.
David Letterman says the New York Yankees are so pleased to have Strawberry and Steve Howe on the team that they are thinking of signing Marion Barry and Gary Busey.
Strawberry reportedly will make $850,000 from the Yankees this year.
``Or, at least,'' said Letterman, ``that's what he's telling the IRS.''
Meanwhile, Al Trautwig, a New York sportscaster, says, ``Yankee Stadium is the halfway house that Babe Ruth built.''
Many complain that bringing Strawberry back to baseball is a scandal. But for the game's precious image, it is worse than that.
It is a joke.
George Steinbrenner and Strawberry are a laughingstock. Their partnership is an unquestioned absurdity. Comics consider them a national treasure along the lines of Judge Ito and Kato Kaelin.
Thanks to Darryl and George, people are snickering at baseball. Strawberry is the Joey Buttafuoco of the ballpark, and Steinbrenner, well, he's the same old buffoon he's always been.
Darryl and George are a sure-fire laugh, followed by a rim shot. This is good for showbiz, but not for baseball.
When people are angry at the game, at least you know they care. When they start laughing, that is the time to worry. It means that you have become ridiculous. How can anybody care about something that is ridiculous?
Laughter, not outrage, is the appropriate response to the new Bronx Zoo. If your mouth does not turn up at the corners and your ribs do not begin to ache when a pious Steinbrenner announces that his primary concern is Strawberry's well-being, you are made of stone.
Without question, Lee Brown, drug czar for the Clinton administration, overreacted when he blasted the Yankees for bringing back Strawberry, who is just completing another 60-day drug suspension.
The signing of Strawberry, he said, is ``sending the worst possible message to the youth of America.''
Brown mistakes Darryl for somebody who still matters. In fact, Strawberry only makes a difference to gag writers and sports writers.
Let's give the youth of America a little credit. They recognize that Strawberry is a pitiful shell of a man, as susceptible to a curveball as he is to cocaine. He is barely worth recognizing anymore, except as a grotesque sideshow.
Most of the commotion over Strawberry's return presumes to give baseball and sports in general too much credit as a moral force in our society. When are we going to learn that big-time athletes are not lasting role models?
In any case, if today's kids ever were deeply influenced by an athlete, it would not be one who plays a stuffy old game like baseball. It would be Deion Sanders, Shaquille O'Neal or even Andre Agassi.
As for Strawberry, he will continue to be fascinating to the sort of person who slows down to look at automobile wrecks. Should he be allowed to play in the major leagues again? Sure, he should.
Moralizing over Strawberry's return gets you nowhere. The better choice is to sit back and enjoy the low comedy about to take place at the halfway house that Ruth built.
For progress reports on Strawberry's comeback, bypass the sports pages and go directly to the late night monologues. There you will discover, that as a baseball player, Darryl is a great punch line. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
Many complain that bringing Strawberry back to baseball is a
scandal. But for the game's precious image, it is worse than that.
It is a joke.
by CNB