THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, July 14, 1995 TAG: 9507140421
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Guy Friddell
LENGTH: Medium: 62 lines
Miss America pageant managers are seeking votes on whether the contestants should wear swimsuits.
``I personally hope the announcement will engender a national debate,'' said chairman Leonard Horn.
Good! It's time we had a national debate on something that doesn't require any thought.
I vote no.
Why?
I don't know. . . . All right, it's becoming clear.
Young women in swimsuits having to stalk around before judges in high heels - BACK UP! Bad image, that. The judges are in loafers.
The women should not have to stalk around in high heels as if they are hooved stock trying to win a blue ribbon at the State Fair.
Last year they went barefoot in swimsuits, an improvement. Feet are an attribute to be bared, not hid.
In banning the swimsuit segment, we also should abolish the evening gown competition and eliminate the talent category.
And substitute what?
Ah! Instead of evening gowns, there'd be a rack of simple classic dresses, knee-high, scoop-neck, all of a single pattern.
To make it clear, all 50 would be wearing the same dress, fitted to each one, of course.
From charts of little color tabs, the kind from which one picks a hue to paint the wall, each contestant would choose a single color for her dress, which each one could, by the way, take home afterward.
Wear it ever after when she felt blue.
In my mind's eye, the blondes are wearing black; the brunettes are in canary yellow; the redheads are torn between green, to match their eyes, and soft lavender.
Anyway, the choice would be theirs. They would appear, en masse on stage, as a spectrum of neat, clearly defined rainbow colors.
There could be no adornment - no bracelet, no rings, no earrings, no necklace, nothing, not even any cosmetics.
No artifice whatever.
A daring thing! Their selves would be allowed to shine through clear, genuine, untrammeled.
The talent show would have to go. For the half-dozen or so acts that are bearable to the audience in those contests, the majority of performances have been of the sort that 3-year-olds have to put on at the behest of adoring parents for captive company.
Instead, each young woman would simply have a conversation - not an interview, just casual talk - with someone interested.
There are really as few as three basic questions that would allow them, responding, to step forth as they are.
Seen it happen often. I'd be happy to volunteer. Just for the company. ILLUSTRATION: Color illustration by Janet Shaughnessy
by CNB