THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, July 21, 1995 TAG: 9507210060
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E12 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY SAREIT HESS, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 139 lines
AT 4 A.M., a scream breaks the silence and soon turns into heavy bawling. It is a cry of hunger.
That wail was part of a usual night during Tina Mashtare's sophomore year at Bayside High School. Now, fortunately, Tina does not have to worry about round-the- clock feeding anymore.
Tina, 18, is a 1995 graduate of Bayside High School and the mother of 2-year-old Ashley Mashtare. Her status as a teenage mother makes her part of what President Clinton in his State of the Union address called the country's most serious social problem: ``The epidemic of teen pregnancies and births where there is no marriage.''
As a teenage mother, statistics are stacked against Tina leading a productive, middle-class lifestyle. Consider the following:
Low-income families begun by teenage mothers receive $34 billion a year in health and welfare benefits, and these single women are the least likely to earn their way out of poverty.
Nearly half of all single mothers on the rolls today had their first child as a teenager.
Now Tina is trying to avoid becoming another statistic, another stereotypical teenage mom.
Of math and love
Tina, and Ashley's father, JP Richardson, now 20, met in the fall of 1991, in their freshman math class. They started talking and a friendship developed. A few months later, they began dating.
``We went to the movies, fishing, the usual. But then it became more special, and we just wanted to be together,'' said JP.
Sophomore year, Tina found herself with a huge problem. Tina said that doctors had told her she could not get pregnant, so she was really surprised when she found out she was.
And so Tina joined the 1 million teenagers who get pregnant every year.
``I could not believe it at first. I wanted to cry, but then I was happy. I never felt that I did not want her either. Now I had someone special to take care of,'' said Tina.
About half of the teenagers who get pregnant each year give birth. Many of those struggle to finish high school, to get a job and to get a stable life for themselves and their child.
But Tina does not buy into the idea that she and her daughter are on a direct course to a life of letdowns. Thousands of teenage mothers drop out of school each year, but by gradating from Bayside last month, Tina made the first move toward breaking out of the poverty that traps most teenage mothers.
``I do not think that I have fallen into the cycle,'' Tina said. ``What happens is not a cycle; it is just life.''
Being pregnant in school
Tina realized that she would have to go through many hassles while she was pregnant. Going to school was one of them.
``Bayside used to be really crowded. You could not walk 5 feet in the hallway without getting shoved around,'' said Tina. ``And people would constantly put their hand on my stomach. I hated it.''
Becoming moody, Tina wished she could deliver her baby soon. Her due date was during mid-terms, but Tina was able to take the tests early and went home to rest. The following day she went to the doctor.
``He told me I would have to have an immediate Caesarean section,'' said Tina. ``I was shocked. I had no idea what was wrong with my baby.''
That evening, Tina had to be rushed to the hospital. A few hours later, she gave birth to a 5-pound baby girl named Ashley.
``It was unbelievable,'' said JP. ``I got to watch the whole thing. Childbirth is an amazing experience.''
Ashley was born one month premature, but today is a healthy 2-year-old and growing fast.
Making ends meet
Like many teenage mothers, Tina gets financial help. She is on a government support program called WIC, or Women and Infant Care. It provides Tina with checks for food until Ashley is 5. Without the checks, Tina said she would have struggled even more than she did.
Much debate has surrounded welfare reform in the past year, and one of the targeted groups is teenage parents. The state plan calls for requiring unwed teenage mothers to attend school and live with a parent or guardian. Tina, who did that anyway, says that is a fine idea.
``It's good not just for the baby, but for the mother, too,'' she said. ``It would make sure that they get an education. I think the law can do a lot of things. If they can enforce a curfew, they can enforce something like that.''
Right now, Tina is job hunting at places like Wal-Mart and Kmart, ``anything to get my feet on the ground.'' She wants to start school, maybe Tidewater Community College, in the fall and study sign language. Eventually, she plans to get off assistance altogether.
``I do not think that having to have some help for the little bit that I am allowed is hurting society,'' Tina said. ``There are many people that are on welfare for a longer time than they need to be.''
Teenage parenting
Tina left the hospital a few days after giving birth. She was out of school for six weeks and had a homebound teacher.
JP was with Tina the whole time she was in the hospital.
``I kept thinking what kind of a father would I be. I was so afraid to touch her at first. She was so little, so fragile,'' said JP.
Living arrangements soon became a hassle with feeding and taking care of Ashley, so JP moved in with Tina in her mom's one-story house. Together they began to raise Ashley.
Tina's mother, Maryann Palladino, helps too. While Tina and JP were at school, she stayed home and watched Ashley, playing together in the small family room.
Bessie Abner, director of Good Beginnings, a parenting class sponsored by the Child and Family Services of Hampton Roads, works with mothers ages 12 to 18. Many teen mothers don't know how to properly take care of their children and need some guidance, nurturing and care. She teaches the mothers (few dads attend because either they have left, or it is a ``girl thing'') child care, growth and development and how to keep themselves healthy.
Tina and JP have not taken any parenting classes, but seem to have managed well so far.
The future
Tina and JP are not currently planning on getting married. JP has moved out of Tina's mother's home, but visits Ashley two or three times a week and provides financial help.
``He tries to see her every chance he gets,'' Tina said adding that ``being a mother now is really hard. It was difficult with school, and when she is sick, I worry a lot,'' said Tina.
Being a parent takes a lot of patience. Especially for teenagers who have a tendency to be impatient. Raising children is a trial-and- error job and most kids do not want to admit failure at something.
JP agrees. ``Being a parent is not something you can read about or learn from someone. It is through experience. You need the ability to go and go and not get frustrated.''
And that too is Tina's challenge: to keep going and not to get frustrated, to stay out of the statistical trap.
``I believe that if you want something and work for it, you can get it,'' Tina said. ``I'm going to go to school, keep a decent job and keep doing what I have to do.'' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by Mort Fryman
Teen mom Tina Mashtare is raising daughter Ashley with the help of
the baby's father, JP Richardson.
Photo
Sareit Hess is a rising junior at Bayside High School.
KEYWORDS: TEENAGE MOTHER by CNB