THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, July 28, 1995 TAG: 9507280073
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E9 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY SHANNON LESTER, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 56 lines
ADRIAN WILLIAMS thinks that he understands why those guys jumped him on the basketball court that day. See, Adrian and a friend had just beat them in a tense game of two-on-two. The guys had to save face.
``I can relate,'' Adrian said referring to his own past experiences.
Adrian, like many teenagers, knows what it's like to try to retain respect when pride is challenged. When conflicts arise, when to walk away and when to fight is a hard decision to make.
``You don't always have to fight,'' the Granby High senior said, but ``I ain't gon' let nobody run over me.''
Several area teens agree with Williams. To them, fighting shouldn't be the first option, but sometimes it might be the only option.
Charmaine Johnson, a junior at Kempsville High, believes that fighting is the wrong way to get respect. If someone offends her, Johnson either walks away or confronts them verbally.
``I would walk away if it were something superficial,'' Johnson said, referring to matters such as gossip. But if pushed far enough, there might be some physical confrontation. Her rule: ``Don't hit them unless they hit you first.''
Norfolk Academy guidance counselor Graham Hudgins handles student conflicts every day. When faced with fight or flight situations, Hudgins recommends teens choose the latter.
``The best thing to do is leave,'' he said.
Hudgins understands that students don't want to back down and lose face, but he says that it's better to talk it out.
``Try later to contact them,'' said Hudgins. ``Try to resolve your conflict verbally.''
Jim Davis, director of preventative/in-home services for the Barry Robinson Center, heads the center's Alternatives to Violent Behavior seminars. The sessions are geared toward helping violence-prone middle school students learn to think before they act and use problem-solving techniques to resolve conflicts.
Davis works with the majority-male group using the ``giving it, taking it, working it out'' technique. Students learn to confront, respond to and resolve problems peacefully.
``If both (persons) can walk away with dignity and respect, you've got a good resolution,'' he said.
Still, in the real world of teenagers, walking away may seem impossible. Handling conflict is easier said than done.
``You can't keep running away forever,'' said Sharri Eckford, a sophomore at Salem. MEMO: Shannon Lester is a rising junior at Salem High School in Virginia
Beach. She wrote this story during the newspaper's minority journalism
workshop. by CNB