THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, July 30, 1995 TAG: 9507280210
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 54 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Editorial
SOURCE: Ron Speer
LENGTH: Medium: 74 lines
Let's talk turkey today - it ain't the humidity or the bugs or the traffic that makes this the whiny season.
The season starts about the first of July and runs through the middle of September. We whimper about the weather and we whine about the mosquitos and we carp about all the cars on the road, week after week after week.
We act like there's never been such a hot summer, or so many bugs, or so much traffic.
But those problems don't produce the whiny season.
The reason for all the whimpering is simple - every year we erase our memories of past summers.
Somehow we seem to think that never before has it been hot on the Outer Banks or on the mainland or in our cities.
We forget that there may have been a few bugs around here last year, and the year before. And there may have been a car or two on our roads last year, if we think about it.
But we don't look at it that way. We somehow seem to think that Mother Nature has thrown a nasty curve at us this summer in stunning contrast to the past.
Most of our conversations start off with a whine about what seems to be the most surprising turn of events in our lives.
``Never seen such humidity in all my life it feels like the inside of a steam room good morning dear, did our daughter ever come home last night the sweat's just pouring off me.''
``The mosquitos are so big in my back yard that they're driving off the crows you say the transmission is shot and to fix it will cost $1,300 and they'll practically carry you off after dark.''
``My electric meter is spinning like a hummingbird's wings is prison food all right Pa I bet my power bill will be $300 this month.''
``Took me 15 minutes to make a left turn onto the bypass to get here did your surgery go OK mom and I bet the traffic will be even worse when I leave the hospital.''
``The newspaper said the temperature was 15 degrees higher here than it was in Alaska yesterday we're overstaffed Ralph and I'm going to have to let you go after 10 years on the job it's supposed to be even hotter today.''
Nothing else matters much in the whiny season, when we seem to believe it was the Garden of Eden here in previous summers.
But did you ever see snow along the Atlantic in July? Have you ever worn long johns to keep warm in August? Is the temperature usually in the middle 60s on the oceanfront? Haven't taxpayers forked out millions to build bridges and widen roads because of traffic jams years ago?
I've spent most of my life in the South and I don't ever remember complaining that it was too cold. Seems to me that in fact it has always been humid and hot every summer, probably since the ice age. And places like the Outer Banks didn't become summer attractions for the multitudes until the advent of air-conditioning.
I remember mosquitos being a big pain in the neck ever since I was a lad. The invention of bug spray cans is just as important during the whiny season as air-conditioning.
And cars weren't invented yesterday. Seems to me they've been around longer than I have - but each summer I still complain about the traffic as if I was the only motorist on the road in previous years.
And there is nothing as boring as talking about the weather.
How do you reply interestingly when somebody comes up and says, ``Hot, ain't it?'' Or ``Aren't the mosquitos awful?'' Or ``Did you ever see such traffic?''
I'd almost rather hear somebody take 15 minutes to describe how he got out of the sand trap on the 15th hole, or tell me in excruciating detail how he came in seventh in an eight-boat sailing race.
But did you ever see such a hot summer? by CNB