THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, August 5, 1995 TAG: 9508050255
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ELIZABETH SIMPSON, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: NORFOLK LENGTH: Long : 107 lines
Most of what Rayna Nation learned about 4-year-old Sara came directly from the girl herself, who toyed with her tightly braided hair as she shyly talked.
She likes white flowers. She knows how to make a double knot. Her favorite color is green. ``But I like purple, too,'' Sara told Nation.
The young girl and the 29-year-old Chesapeake woman met Friday at an ``adoption party'' at the North American Council on Adoptable Children Conference, being held at the Waterside Marriott Hotel through Sunday.
The latest tool in adoption of children with special needs, these parties bring together people who want to adopt children with youngsters whose biological parents have terminated their parental rights.
``As soon as I saw her, I fell in love,'' Nation said of her new 4-year-old friend.
The adults have already been through home studies, in which they have been screened by social workers. The party is a place for the adults to meet the children in a fun, nonthreatening environment.
At Friday's affair, the 12 children made hats out of newspapers, danced through colored ropes and played Legos with prospective parents as caseworkers and foster parents smoothed over any initial uneasiness.
``Wowwww,'' said Sara as Nation and a caseworker helped her put on a newspaper hat with a flower on the front.
Nation clapped her hands. ``You look so pretty,'' she said as the girl ran to the mirror to look.
Sara's parents gave her up more than a year ago, saying they were unable to care for her. She is now in a foster home. At the party, she played with other children and talked with some caseworkers, but always returned to Nation's side.
The adoption party highlighted the theme of this year's conference, ``Waiting Children Still Waiting.'' There are 6,841 children in Virginia's foster-care system, 658 of whom are eligible for adoption. Nationally there are 69,000 children in foster care, 20,000 of whom are waiting to be adopted.
The NACAC, made up of adoptive parents, foster parents and adoption professionals, tries to raise awareness of children in need of adoption.
The children at the party ranged in age from 4 to 11. Most came from abusive or neglectful homes in Virginia. Some had problems such as attention-deficit disorders, neurological defects or autism. One set of brothers had been through nine foster homes.
While the idea of an adoption party might seem odd at first, experts said it is gaining popularity.
``I think it's a progression,'' said Carolyn Johnson, executive director of the National Adoption Center in Philadelphia, which educates the public about children awaiting adoption. ``We keep pushing the frontier. When children's photos were first published in the newspaper and on TV, that was considered radical. But there's been good success with that. This is the next step.''
The children are not told the purpose of the party, and prospective parents are coached not to ask questions like ``Would you like to come home with me?'' Still, older children sometimes figure out what's going on.
``There's always a concern they will be terribly disappointed,'' Johnson said. ``But if we don't take risks, we risk never adopting the child.''
The prospective parents at Friday's event said the party gave them a chance to meet children they had only heard about through adoption-agency caseworkers. They seemed to enjoy the party but sometimes felt awkward.
``It seems kind of weird,'' said Mike Klevenz, a single father who adopted a son two years ago, and is now hoping to adopt a brother for him. ``I find myself looking at the children and wondering what they must think, looking the other way.''
Social workers and adoption-agency caseworkers said the parties have been successful in linking parents with children. Patricia Bracey of Midlothian met her three adoptive children at an adoption party four years ago in Richmond. She had learned about the children through United Methodist Family Services, then went to the party to meet them.
``They came running through the door like three wild bucks,'' Bracey said, laughing at the memory. ``By the end of the party I was ready to take them home.''
About eight families came to the party from across the state. Paula and Dave Dehetre of Richmond said they had been told about two brothers, David, 10, and Matthew, 9.
The couple played Legos with the boys and talked about what the children liked in school. Matthew told them he liked math, and said they could remember that because his name starts with ``Matth.'' And David said he liked to swim and go to baseball games.
But the boys also talked with other potential adoptive parents. ``It's like going to a dance, and everyone seeing the same pretty girl, and everyone wanting to dance with her,'' Dave Dehetre said as he watched the boys with another couple. ``You feel like you want to cut in.''
``It's competitive,'' said Paula. ``But that's the reality of the system.''
Near the end of the party Sara sat with Nation making her a necklace to take home. She colored a paper plate, then Nation wrote her name on it, and together they attached blue yarn.
Nation later said she would try to adopt Sara. ``I didn't know what to expect when I came,'' she said. ``But it's been exciting.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photos by Motoya Nakamura, Staff
Rayna Nation and her young friend Sara got along famously at the
``adoption party'' being held at the Waterside Marriott Hotel in
Norfolk.
Dave Dehetre, second from left, talks to David, 10, as Norma
Brackett, second from right, talks to Dehetre's wife, Paula. The
children at the party Friday ranged in age from 4 to 11.
KEYWORDS: ADOPTION by CNB