THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, August 13, 1995 TAG: 9508090063
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K8 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REAL MOMENTS
SOURCE: BY KEITH MONROE, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 59 lines
ONCE UPON A TIME, the function of cops was to direct traffic with brutal efficiency. They didn't call them traffic cops for nothing. Waving motorists through complex catastrophes was a skill about as basic as writing tickets, though not as profitable. Now, directing traffic appears to be a lost art.
Daily, commuting from Virginia Beach to downtown Norfolk, I find myself in horrific backups. After inching forward for miles, I come to the scene of the crime.
Generally it's an innocuous fender bender blocking a lane of traffic. Sometimes tow trucks and ambulances are on the scene, but police cars are always in attendance.
As I approach apoplexy, the traffic approaches the tie-up at a snail's pace. Motorists gawk and dawdle. They are either hoping to glimpse blood or are cowed into uncharacteristic slow-mo by the flashing blue lights. But they have nothing to fear from the police.
Invariably, the cops elaborately ignore the traffic situation. Of course, they have to deal with the wreck itself first. And if they were pulling the injured out from under twisted metal no one would protest their inattention to the traffic jam. But often they could be mistaken for loiterers.
Surely a subsidiary duty ought to be to direct traffic, to keep the motorists motoring. Yet they seem never to have encountered the concept. Without vigorous police action to goose the cars along, traffic crawls ever more slowly.
Not only does this result in traffic backed up to the moon, it creates an increased risk of more accidents as drivers hurtling along at 55 suddenly come to the tail end of the blockage and are forced to drop to zero in 10 seconds.
It doesn't have to be this way. I grew up in a big city where heavy-duty rush hours were the rule. Traffic pileups were simply not permitted to happen. When an accident interrupted the flow, cops were instantly on the spot and set about clearing as many lanes as quickly as possible. Then they waved the traffic through. Keepin' 'em movin' was an essential part of the job and police took pride in their expert ability to brook no delays. Gawkers got a rap on the hood, a dirty look and, if they didn't step on it, verbal abuse. As a consequence, the roads rolled on.
They always reminded me of the moment in the movie ``Patton'' when a mule cart blocks a bridge in Sicily and backs up a column of tanks and men which is then strafed by German fighters.
When Patton discovers the source of the holdup, he goes ape. Pulling one of his trademark sidearms, he slays the hapless beast, pitches it over the side of the bridge, cranks up that column and motors.
No one is proposing the local police treat motorists blocking traffic like asses, but a little less lethargy would be welcome.
It's time to demand action. Send the cops to traffic school. Teach them some hand signals. Buy them some vitamins. Rent them a copy of ``Patton,'' but get them on the case. by CNB