THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, August 26, 1995 TAG: 9508250058
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: Long : 102 lines
THE COLORFUL SAILBOAT spinnakers on the cover of an informational packet about the first hospice regatta to be held in Hampton Roads struck me as odd.
More than 40 sailboats will compete in the Oct. 21 regatta to raise funds for - and public awareness about - the seven hospices in greater Hampton Roads.
But what, I wondered, do boats have to do with the end of life?
And then I was reminded of the high school English teacher who taught me Alfred Lord Tennyson's ``Crossing the Bar'':
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea.
Then it made sense. True, each of the seven hospices serving the terminally ill in Hampton Roads is special. But all are united in making the crossing of the bar into death a smooth, dignified and pain-free passage for patients and loved ones.
Volunteers serving the hospices are angels on the sly. Unknown to most of us, they combine qualities not found in ordinary folks. True, they are sensitive. But their hearts are strung with strong sinews. They can look death in the eye without flinching and yet perform the most menial acts of kindness for frail patients too weak to even whisper thanks.
If there is a front row in heaven, surely such rare people have a reserved seat.
The hospice volunteers come in all shapes, sizes and conditions. One is Hope Boffa, a volunteer with Hospice Volunteers of the Portsmouth Area (serving families in Portsmouth, northern Suffolk, Deep Creek and the Western Branch sections of Chesapeake).
Hope lives near Holland. She suffered a stroke that left her partly paralyzed years ago, but finds her condition no handicap when dealing with the terminally ill.
``I am a good listener and felt I could be there for somebody,'' she said.
She concedes that helping extremely ill patients isn't for everybody. ``You go through your own mourning when the patient dies.''
Every day, in every hospice, there are triumphs and setbacks.
The setbacks always seem worse when a child in involved. At Edmarc Hospice for Children - Virginia's only hospice for children - executive director Julie Sligh spoke of a tragic beginning that ended well.
``Several years ago we had a child who was born in Newport News with a severe cardiac condition and mental retardation,'' she recalled. The child was not a candidate for a heart transplant.
Told that her baby girl would not live, the shocked mother refused to hold her infant. Sligh said the mother told the nurses: ``I don't want to hold her or take her home. I can't do this alone. I don't want to live through the pain involved in losing her.''
Doctors told the mother about Edmarc, the children's hospice in Portsmouth.
``You won't be alone,'' she was told. At Edmarc the mother received the counseling and support she needed. In return she gave the infant a mother's love and warmth. ``The baby lived for two weeks,'' Sligh remembered. Two important weeks of living as mother and daughter rather than as mother and patient. The hospice now cares for 42 patients. About half are children under the age of 5.
The hospices meet a variety of needs. At Norfolk's Full Circle AIDS hospital - affiliated with the Episcopal Diocese of Southern Virginia - special attention is given to the care-givers of those terminally ill AIDS patients who choose to spend their last days at home. Frozen meals are provided to the patients and time off for those at the patient's bedside, thanks, again, to volunteers.
Hospices have their needs as well: funds for unexpected emergencies, for staff support, for supplies and medication. It is a need so great that, for the first time the hospices - including Riverside Hospice in Newport News, Riverside Walter Reed Hospital in Gloucester, Hospice Care of the Eastern Shore and Hospice Support Care in Williamsburg - are asking for help collectively.
The heroine in the fund-raising effort is Virginia H. Brown, who, with a friend, established Hospice Cup races in Annapolis, Md. Those races have raised more than $2 million since 1982.
Brown lives on Virginia's northern neck and commutes to Hampton where she coordinates the efforts of regatta volunteers.
``Sailing people all seem to know each other,'' she said. ``Many of the sailors from Hampton who participated in Annapolis races mentioned that it would be nice to have a Hospice Cup-type regatta in Hampton Roads.''
So, sometime back, she picked up the phone and began making calls to friends at the Hampton Yacht Club. ``They were nice enough to say they would run the hospice races for us,'' she said.
Brown says the hospice regatta has strengthened ties between the communities of Hampton Roads even though the cities are often divided on issues. Acclaimed wildlife sculptor David Turner of Onley, Va., has created and donated a handsome bronze marine sculpture to be used as the event's perpetual trophy.
Individuals or corporations can ensure the success of the regatta by purchasing sponsorships. If you can help, phone (804) 599-3063. ILLUSTRATION: [Color Photo]
The classic topsail schooner American Rover will be on hand to
transport guests at the race.
by CNB