THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, August 30, 1995 TAG: 9508300033
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: LAWRENCE MADDRY
LENGTH: Medium: 58 lines
LOTS OF PEOPLE look like humans but are really cats on the inside.
Maybe you are one of those people. Taking this jiffy quiz could help you determine whether you are a cat.
Don't think too much about the following questions. Simply give the answer that first pops into your head.
1. When you see a bird on the lawn, do you immediately drop to the grass and inch slowly toward it on your belly, never taking your eyes off the bird?
2. In cold weather do you sometimes crawl under the hood of the car and rest on the motor because it is warm?
3. Have you ever jumped out of a bathtub wet and hidden under a bed, refusing to come out?
4. Do you sometimes sit for hours before a large hole in the wall or woodwork without taking your eyes off it?
5. Do you have nightmares involving the rungs on rocking chairs?
6. Do you frequently use your whiskers instead of a light to find your way out of a darkened room.
7. When you first enter a room, do you look around for something to hide under?
8. Is your idea of a big time jumping up on a windowsill and (A) licking yourself or (B) looking for dogs.
9. Have you ever jumped up on a curtain and held on just for the hell of it?
10. Are you a finicky eater?
11. Have you ever experienced a loss of appetite due to a hair ball?
12. Do you refuse to wear rain gear or walk under an umbrella when it's raining.
13. Have you ever jumped up naked on a cheese ball?
14. Do you instinctively know where the softest cushion on a sofa is without testing?
15. At parties do you call attention to yourself by arching your back and rubbing it against someone's leg?
16. Do you find yourself on the wrong side of a door more often than not and complain about it?
17. Do you refuse to wear a sweater even on the coldest days.
18. Has anyone ever remarked upon your ability to disappear suddenly and reappear in an odd place such as the roof or on the blade of a ceiling fan?
19. Have your hands ever seized the rim of a fish bowl so tightly that someone had to pry them loose?
20. Have you ever rolled over on your back to play with the cord on a Venetian blind.
21. Have you ever burped a feather?
How to interpret the quiz: 1-5 ``yes'' answers - you are eccentric. 5-15 ``yes'' answers - phone your vet or shrink immediately. 15-21 ``yes'' answers - you are purrfectly normal (for a cat.) by CNB