THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, August 31, 1995 TAG: 9508280112
SECTION: FOOTBALL '95 PAGE: Z5 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Pro Football '95
SOURCE: Jim Ducibella
LENGTH: Long : 140 lines
You are an NFL freak if . . .
You mailed Patriots coach Bill Parcells one of those elephant figurines (with trunk raised) he considers good-luck charms.
You celebrated the Raiders' move back to Oakland by pulling your Al Davis-autographed tube of hair goo out of mothballs.
You know that Redskins quarterback Heath Shuler was named after the Lee Majors' character on TV's ``The Big Valley.''
You know what the ``Y'' in Y.A. Tittle stands for - Yelberton - and can spell it.
You know that Don Shula and Dan Reeves are the only active coaches with 10 or more opening-day wins.
You're aware that the '95 Indianapolis Colts will be the first team in three seasons to wear black shoes.
You remember that Vince Ferragamo once passed for 509 yards in a game.
You know that Dungeness Crab is Seattle coach Dennis Erickson's favorite food - and you have the recipe.
You remember who the Redskins traded to New York for Sam Huff (halfback Dickie James).
You can name the active quarterback who is 0-11 in games he has started (Stan Gelbaugh).
You can name the Dallas Cowboy who is sixth among active players in games played (new center Ray Donaldson).
You're the fan who suggested to the league that instead of goalpost uprights and a crossbar, goalposts be made of one circle rising from the middle post so that it would be tougher to make field goals.
You're wracking your brain for the proper house-warming gift to bring when you visit the NFL's ``home'' on the Internet at http://nflhome.com.
You knew that George Halas not only was born three days ahead of Babe Ruth in 1895, but played outfield for the New York Yankees before turning to football.
You tell your friends that the Carolina Panthers aren't the first NFL team to use that nickname. The original Panthers worked out of Detroit in 1925-26 before moving to Providence, R.I.
You wonder why those annual checks you send to Dave Kreig's alma mater are never cashed (Milton College is now closed).
You remember tackle Norm Evans as the only man in modern NFL history to start the first game of two expansion teams, the 1966 Miami Dolphins and the '76 Seattle Seahawks.
You think ``D Day'' is in honor of Scooter McLean, who on Dec. 21, 1941, scored football's last field goal via drop kick.
You knew that Jeff Criswell and Harvey Williams were the only two players to handle their own contract negotiations last offseason.
You're aware that the Saints hold the dubious distinction of having rookies lead them in rushing 10 times - and can name them.
You lie awake nights wondering why the title of Norfolk native Bruce Smith's Hollywood debut was ``Smith of Michigan,'' not ``Smith of Virginia.''
You remember O.J. Simpson when you weren't mocking his alibi by calling him a lousy actor.
You took a Berlitz course so you could talk Xs and Os with guard Alai Kalaniuvala in his native Tongan.
You've studied Carolina long-snapper Mark Rodenhauser and know that he uses two hands to fire the ball 15 yards in seven-10ths of a second on punts, and one hand to get the ball back to the holder in 2 1/2 revolutions, laces out, on extra points and field goals. And you're worried that, since he could go weeks without having to perform the latter function this season, he may lose his touch.
You think it's cool that Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham is among the league's top 10 active rushers, not passers.
You think it's mere coincidence that five of the game's 10 all-time leading passers still play.
You wish Kathy Lee Gifford's Super Sunday rendition of the National Anthem - and Frank's introduction - was out on CD. MEMO: DUCIBELLA'S PICKS
NFC East
1. Dallas Cowboys (11-5): Still enough talent to rule this division.
2. N.Y. Giants* (9-7): Second may be too much to ask if the secondary
doesn't improve.
3. Arizona Cardinals* (9-7): Defense will carry the day.
4. Philadelphia Eagles (6-10): Could be much better if Randall
Cunningham shines.
5. Washington Redskins (5-11): Progress is painfully slow.
NFC Central
1. Chicago Bears (10-6): On the verge of exploding.
2. Detroit Lions (8-8): Need more value from Scott Mitchell.
3. Minnesota Vikings (8-8): Can Warren Moon block out off-field
distractions?
4. Tampa Bay (7-9): Sam Wyche continues to build.
5. Green Bay (6-10): Not replacing Sterling Sharpe kills the
offense.
NFC West
1. San Francisco 49ers (12-4): You're surprised?
2. New Orleans Saints* (9-7): A wildcard entry.
3. Atlanta Falcons (8-8): The epitome of mediocrity.
4. St. Louis Rams (6-10): Too many questions on offense.
5. Carolina Panthers (3-13): What you'd expect from an expansion
team.
AFC East
1. Miami Dolphins (11-5): The fashionable pick, with good reason.
2. New England Patriots* (10-6): They'll go as far as Drew Bledsoe
takes them.
3. Indianapolis Colts (9-7): Colts raving about QB Craig Erickson.
4. Buffalo Bills (8-8): The decline continues.
5. New York Jets (3-13): Owner Leon Hess thought last year was bad.
AFC Central
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5): Good enough despite defections.
2. Cleveland Browns* (10-6): Vinny's best chance to make a
statement.
3. Cincinnati Bengals (5-11): Worst third-place team in ages.
4. Houston Oilers (4-12): Not nearly as good as they think.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-12): Could actually leapfrog Houston.
AFC West
1. Oakland Raiders (10-6): The change of scenery makes the
difference.
2. San Diego Chargers* (10-6): Playoffs, but no repeat of '94.
3. Denver Broncos (9-7): With a better defense, good enough to be
first.
4. Kansas City Chiefs (8-8): Headed south.
5. Seattle Seahawks (6-10): Time for Rick Mirer to step up.
*-Wildcard
THE POSTSEASON
NFC championship: San Francisco over Dallas
AFC championship: Miami over Pittsburgh
Super Bowl XXX: San Francisco over Miami
NFC MVP: Steve Young, San Francisco
AFC MVP: Drew Blesdoe, New England
NFC coach of the year: Jim Mora, New Orleans
AFC coach of the year: Mike White, Oakland
KEYWORDS: SPECIAL SECTION by CNB