THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 8, 1995 TAG: 9509060129
SECTION: PORTSMOUTH CURRENTS PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Ida Kay's Portsmouth
SOURCE: Ida Kay Jordan
LENGTH: Medium: 81 lines
When I was growing up, there was nothing worse than missing school.
First off, we actually looked forward to going every morning and really didn't want to miss out on anything.
But probably even more compelling was the fact that we were EXPECTED to get to school every day - and get there on time. Parents made it clear from day one of school what the rules were and then they saw to it that the little ones got there. By the time we reached an age of being responsible for ourselves, we were well-trained to do what was expected.
One rule in my house was that if we were too sick to go to school, we were too sick to do anything else. If we stayed home, we stayed home. There was no getting well at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and going out to play.
And illness or death in the family were about the only acceptable reasons not to go to school.
Thus, I was quite interested in news stories over the past weekend which reported how parents are upset over absence policies that punish youngsters for not going to school and more upset over the new ``discipline contract'' parents must sign.
Times have changed. Parents let kids stay home for no good reason. They permit them to be out of school for very flimsy reasons, often because the parents have something they want to do which takes the children out of town.
On the absence policy, one Virginia Beach parent said she should have the final say on whether her child stays out of school.
It seems to me that if she's concerned about the Virginia Beach limit of 24 absences per year in order to pass a grade, then she's not using very good judgment on behalf of her own children. Twenty-four days is about five weeks. That's a lot of absences unless a child is suffering from a severe illness.
On the ``contract'' provisions, which would fine parents up to $50 for not signing it, the parents can be fined up to $500 if they refuse to meet with school officials after a child is suspended or expelled.
Some parents were quoted as objecting to this. I don't know why they should object if they are doing the right thing for their children.
One person was quoted as saying the burden should be put on the youngsters. That's true, but if the youngsters have not been taught by their parents to be responsible, then the parents should expect to be penalized.
It just seems incredible to me that any parent would oppose any effort to make schools better and I truly believe that both the discipline ``contract'' and the crackdown on absences are school board efforts to improve the performance of the students.
The children today are children of parents who grew up in the ``do whatever you want to do as long as you feel good about it'' era.
Well, children don't always have the best judgment when it comes to what they ``feel good'' about, especially when they've never been taught about responsibility or consideration for others.
Some parents would say I'm old-fashioned and that I'm probably warped by so much authoritarian discipline in my grade school days.
Well, I may be all those things but I can't blame the schools for any shortcomings. If anything, I feel lucky I went to school when a high school diploma meant a lot.
One of the best results of that old-fashioned notion that school came first was the development of good work habits, a side effect that could help some of today's youngsters keep jobs.
Skipping work is a last resort for those of us who came along during the authoritarian years. When we stay home sick, we don't think of doing anything else. But unless I'm really sick, in which case I don't want to budge, I generally feel better when I come on to work.
As for the ``contract,'' who doesn't want safer and nicer schools? How could parents not believe that is a good thing?
Sometimes you really wonder if people think before they sound off in opposition to new things.
We hear a lot about rights, but we seldom hear about the responsibilities that go along with those rights.
I don't like rules either, but I sure do think children need to be taught more at home about morals and responsibility. And only by making parents responsible will the schools be able to get the parents to teach their children how to behave.
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