THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, September 12, 1995 TAG: 9509120042
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Movie Review
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, MOVIE CRITIC
LENGTH: Medium: 91 lines
IN THE OPENING of ``To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar,'' a bare-chested Patrick Swayze looks into the mirror as he piles on the make-up and mutters, ``Ready or not, here comes mama!''
It is a call to harmless fun rather than outrageous pandemonium. As it turns out, Universal's unlikely new comedy about drag queens is closer to ``Pollyanna'' than it is to anything salacious.
Swayze, along with co-stars Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo, joins Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Lemmon and hordes of other male actors who have donned dresses to get a laugh. It's one of the oldest comic ploys around.
This hunk-in-heels comedy is a little different in that it is about three drag queens rather than about a straight man masquerading in a dress.
It's daring stops there. In a noticeable attempt to be politically correct and reach a mainstream audience, its three divas become sexless do-gooders who go to a dust bowl town and teach everyone how to accessorize and live better. The plot is so corny that you'd best check your credibility at the door. Still, there isn't a mean wrinkle in these girls' crinolines.
``To Wong Foo'' noticeably walks in the heels of last year's surprise hit ``Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,'' a low-budget entry from Australia about a group of occasionally sad drag queens who take their show to the backwoods aboard a bus named Priscilla. The ``ladies'' of ``To Wong Foo'' are driving a rusted 1967 Cadillac from New York City to Hollywood. Of course, the vehicle breaks down in a small town that needs a lesson about individualism.
The unlikelihoods are many. These guys stay in drag all the time, even waking up in full makeup and frothy jammies. Their wardrobes are endlessly changeable, even though they don't carry much luggage. No one suspects they might be men.
Apparently, there is no end to the good these three do. They teach the rowdy farm boys to respect ladies and the housewives how to make themselves over; they stop a husband from battering his wife, a local boy from stuttering and persuade a mute old lady to talk. Looking over the good that has been done, Swayze rubs his gloved hands and announces, ``Sometimes it just takes a fairy.''
Swayze turns in a surprisingly sensitive and sympathetic performance as Vida, the more eloquent and color-coordinated of the three. It's perhaps his best screen performance yet.
Snipes plays Noxeema Jackson, the one with attitude and a quick comeback. ``When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender,'' he says, ``his is a drag queen.'' Surprisingly, Snipes doesn't run away with the picture; If anything, he's somewhat restrained.
The last member of the trio is a Latino spitfire named Chi Chi, played by Leguizamo. He's a combination of Abbe Lane, Charo and Rosie Perez as he proclaims, ``I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken.'' His is the one character who cries to become more outrageous.
The title comes from an autographed picture signed by starlet Julie Newmar, presumably to the owner of a Chinese restaurant. Newmar was one of the brides in ``Seven Brides for Seven Brothers'' and played Stuptefyin' Jones in the movie musical version of ``L'il Abner.'' Now in her 60s, she was never really a star and, ironically, gets her biggest billing here. Her cameo is somewhat sad.
Stockard Channing is sadly vulnerable as the battered wife. Blythe Danner is strangely wasted as the local woman obviously interested in an interracial romance. Chris Penn is the homophobic police officer who chases the threesome across the county.
Director Beeban Kidron could have made more use of music. Instead, she is more intent on selling one-liners than lyrics. It's difficult to keep the joke going once you've seen the outfits.
Despite the cornball plot, there are some barbed, witty lines. And it's refreshing that the guys actually play their roles rather than wink at the camera. The aim here is merely to have a good time. It often works. ILLUSTRATION: UNIVERSAL
Three drag queens - from left, John Leguizamo, Wesley Snipes and
Patrick Swayze - en route to Hollywood are stalled in the Midwest
in ``To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.''
MOVIE REVIEW
``To Wong Foo''
Cast: Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo, Stockard
Channing, Blythe Danner, Chris Penn
Director: Beeban Kidron
Screenplay: Douglas Carter Beane
MPAA rating: PG-13 (some language, sexual abuse subplot)
Mal's rating: **1/2
Locations: Chesapeake Square in Chesapeake; Main Gate, Military
Circle in Norfolk; Lynnhaven, Kemps River Crossing, R/C Columbus,
Surf-N-Sand in Virginia Beach
by CNB