THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, September 13, 1995 TAG: 9509120072
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: LAWRENCE MADDRY
LENGTH: Medium: 58 lines
I WATCHED Sen. Robert Packwood twit and tweet with Hugh Downs on Larry King's show last week, less than 24 hours before his resignation.
Packwood had the demeanor of a speaking tropical bird, shifting his nimble feet toward the end of the limb and just out of reach of his stalking cat: the Senate Ethics Committee.
The senator was a flaming ruin, yet there he was chit-chatting with Downs, so unabashedly confident of his righteousness I wanted to scream at the TV set: ``HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!''
When it comes to shame, the ones who need it most are fresh out.
Calvin Klein is another sleazy vehicle whose shame tank is empty. Yet when the public outcry against Calvin Klein Jeans' recent advertising campaign condemned the garment designer, it reacted with a shrug and a ``who me?'' Fortunately, the designer caught so much heat, it had to junk the ads. The message of the jeans campaign was do it now. . . and often. It depicted a batch of hot, half-naked, barely pubescent boys and girls who appeared to have the morals of, say, wharf rats.
But did Calvin Klein appear in denim sackcloth and ashes to beg forgiveness and apologize for a shameful mistake? Nope.
Here's a sample of the El Toro poo-poo (to borrow a phrase) from Klein:
``We continue to believe in the positive message of these ads,'' Klein stated. ``But since the ads' message about the spirit, independence and inner worth of today's young people has been misunderstood by some. . . ''
I just heaved. Someone pass me a damp towel.
Offenses that people once hid their heads for before slinking out of town are now given no more gravity than a parking ticket.
The worst offenders don't know what shame is. They commit crimes, or offenses against common decency - could it be that phrase is now an oxymoron? - and go whistling down the street without a care.
If they are caught, they issue a half-hearted statement reeking of self-pity or justification, a la Bob Packwood. Mea culpa it ain't.
The list of such people is long and growing. A few others that come quickly to mind are Detective Mark Fuhrman, Mike Tyson, Tanya Harding and the Colorado football coach who took a fifth down against Missouri several years ago, knowing his team didn't have one.
We need someone to give folks whose conduct is shameless a hint because they don't have a clue. That's why this country needs an official U.S. Shamer.
The Shamer would wear a black coat and pants, a black cape and black hat. I picture someone resembling Orson Welles or Mr. T. The Shamer would visit people like the ones mentioned above and spray paint the word ``SHAME'' in red letters on their houses.
In special cases, the offender would be tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. Or required to do an entire year of shopping at Kmart (but only during the rush hour.)
I know an idea whose time has come when I see it. by CNB