THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, September 13, 1995 TAG: 9509120102
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 06 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY LORI A. DENNEY AND EARL SWIFT, STAFF WRITERS
LENGTH: Long : 122 lines
JOANN ROYER HAS HAD five dates in the last year.
Not a bad showing, she concedes. Then she sighs: ``If only they'd been winners.''
If only one had been a winner, for that matter, Royer's search for companionship would be over, and she wouldn't be standing beside a dance floor populated by twice as many women as men.
``The first one? He offered to take me to Country Cookin,' '' said Royer, 54. ``I said, `Heck, I can afford to do that myself! The second? Well . . . let's just say the rest didn't work either.''
It's enough to make a body blue - especially if that body read Fitness Magazine's July/August issue, which proclaimed Virginia Beach the country's No. 1 place to meet single guys.
``I don't believe it!'' said Cindy Berg, a single woman in her 30s in reference to the aforementioned numbers. ``No. No. No. They need to go back and recount. They made a big mistake.''
Under the headline ``Where the Boys Are,'' the New York-based magazine listed the Beach atop a roster of cities it said had America's highest ratios of single men to single women - or, put another way, enough men to enable women to be picky.
Cindy Berg would love to be picky, but frankly, she hasn't found anything to be picky about. Neither has Joann Royer or Yvonne Brown.
``The single men must be out fishing or hunting and not inviting the single females,'' said Berg, an Old Dominion graduate who works at Tidewater Detention Home.
In all this bounty, you'd expect Royer to have dashing beaux lining up outside the door. And you'd figure Brown - who, like Royer, was attending the monthly Friday Fling Single Friends in Christ dance held at Ascension Catholic Church - to have a full dance card.
``You have to believe it because the figures are there,'' said Brown, a single woman in her mid-40s. ``In fact, I work at the base and I see it. But, then, why haven't I had a boyfriend in the last two years?''
Maybe because the list leaves much unsaid between the lines.
Yes, Virginia Beach does top the Census Bureau's ``50 Largest Cities Ranked by Highest Ratio of Single Men to Single Women.'' But even so, the city was home to only 107 single men for every 100 single women, according to the 1990 census. Hardly a happy hunting ground.
Besides, the list doesn't weigh characteristics of the cities that alter the ratio's relevance. Numbers don't reveal, for instance, that San Francisco, which Fitness ranks sixth, has a large population of single men who may have little or no interest in single women.
Nor does the list note that the Beach, San Diego and Honolulu all have something in common: the Navy.
The rankings don't divulge that a good many Beach singles are at sea for a chunk of each year, and therefore absent from the dating pool. Nor do they mention the youthful age of many Navy singles, nor their relatively low earnings, nor the reluctance some civilians have to getting romantically entangled with someone who is, by profession, traveling light.
``What I've found is that a lot of relationships with Navy guys have left women with a tainted view of us,'' said John Nemitz, a petty officer aboard the carrier George Washington, as he sipped a Corona at September's, a popular Beach nightspot.
``A lot of Navy guys, maybe because of their transient nature, have left them with a bad taste in their mouths,'' he said. ``In that respect, a lot of women around here are very wary of Navy guys.''
The bottom line is that if life were a simple matter of mathematics - if you could distill the merits and pitfalls of a place, a person or a job simply by assigning numbers to their traits - we'd all have paid a lot more attention in algebra class, and the many decisions we face daily would be easily solved with a calculator.
It's going to be tough for both sexes to find Mr. or Ms. Right, particularly if the seeker brings particular standards to the chase. Royer, for instance, expects that if she's asked out, her date will pay the bills. If she does the asking, it can go either way.
``I'm looking for somebody to have a pleasant conversation with,'' said Nemitz, the Navy man. ``A woman who seems intelligent, can have an intelligent conversation, knows what's happening in the world.
``Most of the women here, I think, are in the same situation.''
Mark Johnson, a 37-year-old single father, knows that he faces a tall order in finding a significant other. ``I'm looking to meet a nice, Christian, single woman who has some good moral values and doesn't smoke or drink,'' he said while sitting out a dance at the Friday Fling, noting: ``When you mix socializing with kids, it's more difficult. It gets complicated.''
And some singles say it's tougher to get to know someone these days. ``Nowadays, people just come to dance and stuff,'' said Darla Clift, a September's co-manager and bartender who has seen the dating game replay itself night after night for 10 years.
It's not so much a pick-up thing,'' she said. ``The AIDS thing has scared a lot of people.''
Diane Sullivan and Kim Baker also can tell stories about the singles scene. They're regulars at September's - as socialites, not man-hunters.
``I married one from here (a long time ago) and I'm now divorced,'' said Sullivan, a friendly brunette who lives a mile from the Greenwich-area restaurant and bar.
``My Mama always said, `Go to the tennis court or to the grocery store' to meet your man,'' she said. ``It's never happened for me there, either.
``I got a fat cat at home. They don't talk back. I just go in and yell, `Rusty! Mama's home!' '' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by TAMARA VONINSKI
At September's, a popular Beach nightspot, the ratio of men and
women is reflected in mirrors. In the 1990 census, the city was home
to 107 single men for every 100 single women.
Single men, a large majority, dot the border of the dance floor at
September's, a nightspot off Newtown Road.
Chart
Top 10 Singles Cities
1. Virginia Beach
[for complete chart, see microfilm]
Demographics of the Sexes
[Men and Women, total single, total married, percent single]
[For copy of chart, see microfilm]
by CNB