THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 22, 1995 TAG: 9509220055
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E9 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Listen Up!
SOURCE: Vorando Mack and Karen Baranski
LENGTH: Medium: 55 lines
DEAR KAREN AND VORANDO:
My boyfriend and I have been going out for two-and-a-half years. The other day he told me he wanted time away from me. Do you think I should look for someone else or wait and give him time to come back to me. - Am I being dumped?
Dear Feeling Dumped;
Before you choose any course of action, we believe that you deserve a reason for your boyfriend's decision. Two-and-a-half years is a long time for a teenage relationship, and it doesn't seem fair that you and he are separating under such cold, almost heartless, circumstances. Can you think of anything that might have led up to this?
Call your ex and ask him what his reasons are. After a long-term relationship you deserve it, just out of common courtesy.
Sometimes people feel too cramped in a relationship and need some space to think about things that might be bothering them, and they feel more comfortable doing it on their own.
Your boyfriend's leaving might have absolutely nothing to do with you. He may have something inside that is bothering him, and he may feel you wouldn't understand. You need to reassure him that you care and that he can feel safe in discussing anything with you.
The hardest but best thing to do is to grant him his space. You will only push him away if you keep pressuring him. Meanwhile, use this time to develop your own interests and hobbies. Expand your horizons. If you do get back together, you will be a ``fresher'' person. And if you don't, you'll have created a new and better you.
Believe it or not, this might just be your own golden opportunity. One of the worst things a girl can do is to be so dependent on a relationship that she neglects her own ambitions and development. It might at first be flattering to the boy that all his girl's attention is focused on him, but believe us, it does get boring.
Remember, in spite of our advice, there might be a chance that this is it. If that's the case, grieve but don't dwell on him. It will only make you miserable. It's very hard to pick yourself up after a breakup, but you have got to remember that you are a great person all by yourself. There are plenty more guys out there who would enjoy and appreciate your company. MEMO: Vorando Mack is a senior at Norview High School and Karen Baranski is
a senior at Green Run High School. Their column appears biweekly in
Teenology. You can ask questions by calling INFOLINE at 640-5555 and
entering category 8335, or write to them at Listen Up!, 4565 Virginia
Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va. 23462. by CNB