THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, September 27, 1995 TAG: 9509270441
SECTION: MILITARY NEWS PAGE: A10 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: My Turn
SOURCE: KERRY DEROCHI
LENGTH: Medium: 69 lines
They work in a nondescript building at the Norfolk Naval Base, a three-story structure that is distinguishable only in that it has good parking.
The offices are small and utilitarian. There's a kitchen with small tables and giant coffee pots. A sign on the wall reminds those who fall behind in their coffee club payments.
Upstairs, the courtrooms alternate between arctic and tropical - for no apparent reason. Air conditioning, even on sultry August days, isn't allowed, because it drowns out the testimony of witnesses.
This is the real world of Navy JAGs.
So it should come as no surprise that when Hollywood decided to glorify this important but often tedious institution there was considerable interest among local Navy lawyers.
A group of current and former JAGs - curious about how the entertainment gurus would portray their profession - gathered in a house near the Chesapeake Bay on Saturday night to watch the two-hour premiere of ``JAG.''
What they found was a sort of weak combination of ``Top Gun'' and ``Magnum P.I.'' - a glitzy, disjointed show that had little to do with reality in either the JAG corps, or the Navy.
(Of course, who can blame the producers for cutting reality to fit in more shots of the F-14?)
The errors are really too many to number, though the JAGs at the party - being, after all, lawyers - gleefully pointed them out.
There's the scene where the hero, a lieutenant, orders the Carrier Air Wing commander to fly a member of the media on a mission over Bosnia.
Yeah, right, we order CAGs around everyday, joked the JAGs.
Then, of course, there's the scene where the hero - whose hair, by the way, was a bit long by any military standard - lands a Tomcat while flying from the back seat.
Yeah, right, and we land jets too! smirked the Navy JAGs.
And, no Hollywood drama could be complete without the usual stereotypes.
Pilots are macho jerks. (There was one gratuitous mention of Tailhook.)
Women pilots are either overly masculine, raising questions about their sexuality, or wimpy crybabies who can't make it without daddy's help. The only other female character is a raging feminist.
Journalists are, well, disgusting sycophants who easily forgo ethics for a ride in a cool jet. (OK, so most at the party didn't see anything wrong with this part.)
Senior officers are gruff, impolite, sexist and, well, the cause of most of mankind's problems.
As for lawyers? Apparently, they are pilot wannabes who simply couldn't make it.
Hard to believe the Navy didn't support this thing, huh?
The producer said he doesn't want the Navy's cooperation, because he doesn't want to be ``stifled'' creatively.
``I have to be open to do stories about negative aspects of the military life,'' he was quoted as saying.
Yeah, well, since when was ``JAG'' about military life?
Surprisingly enough, a handful of people gathered at the party Saturday night actually watched the show until the end, when the hero singlehandedly landed the jet on the flight deck, solved the murder and melted the heart of the raging feminist.
Of course, most of the spectators wouldn't know that. They had already dropped out by this point, once learning the show was going to last two hours instead of one. by CNB