THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 29, 1995 TAG: 9509290004
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A14 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Letter
LENGTH: Medium: 52 lines
If there was ever any doubt that the cavalier is cannon fodder for the feminist, it was dispelled by two articles in the Sept. 17 paper.
In the first report by Ann G. Sjoerdsma (``Women are still capitalizing on the double standard''), the writer condemns all ``good-looking'' women for using their good looks to get ahead, but then quickly justifies the use of ``female charms'' as necessary to balance the field between men and women.
I'm confused. Does this mean that as a manager I am to expect nice-looking female employees to be cold and aloof while average-looking female employees are to use sexually suggestive innuendos to flirt their way to the top? I must need more sensitivity training to unravel this new mystery.
Ms. Sjoerdsma expresses indignation that since the time of Confucius men have actually been giving women preferential treatment based on their being women. Her rhetoric rouses her feminist sisters to crusade against nudity in Hollywood, Miss America in a swimsuit and the nightmare of the middle-aged, married feminist being ``replaced'' by a newer, younger model.
In the Roundtable discussion concerning the admission of women to VMI, Major Carol Barkalow's objective is more direct: ``What I don't want in my Army'' is a second lieutenant who hasn't worked with women during their formative years of young adulthood. If this is her main reason for admitting women to VMI, she needs to take a close look at the Virginia college system. Nowhere are ethics, manners and equality more thoroughly taught and enforced than at VMI. The cadets are gentlemen in the finest Virginia tradition.
My Southern mother instilled into her four sons the manners of a cavalier. And, yes, this did include giving women preferential treatment. Now I find that this upbringing is a double-edged sword; while my manners sometimes mark me as a ``gentleman,'' I was recently admonished at a Chamber of Commerce function by one of my female co-workers for standing up when the female key-note speaker approached our table. It seems I was guilty of ``patronizing'' the speaker.
Endeavoring to stay in compliance with the ever-changing definition of correctness, I have decided to retreat to basics as taught by my mother and our forefathers observing the fundamental principal that you should treat people as you would like to be treated. I now purposefully wield my cavalier mannerism on unsuspecting women. And in reply to their astonished appreciation or detached aloofness, I recite in my mind, ``Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.''
BRIAN V. CAMDEN
Virginia Beach, Sept. 18, 1995 by CNB