THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, October 24, 1995 TAG: 9510240389
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Tom Robinson
LENGTH: Medium: 85 lines
I have here the wrapper, and only the wrapper. The candy, just in time for Halloween no doubt, will come Wednesday after some media kickoff in Charlotte.
What everybody's waiting for is The Zo Bar, a 2.75 ounce, peanut-caramel-and-chocolate ode to Alonzo Mourning, Chesapeake's superb, sneering gift to the NBA.
It's a pebble in the sea of Mourning's huge marketing profile, but it's also the stuff legends are made of, right? How can you be a true athletic legend these days without your own candy bar?
Cal Ripken has a candy bar. Barry Sanders has one. Cecil Fielder. Reggie White. And, for some reason, Randall Cunningham, though I hope the thing has been discontinued by now to save the poor guy further embarrassment.
So now Mourning's got his, though one of his main rivals, Shaquille O'Neal, in an unspeakable act of overkill, has five candy bars. They comprise the so-called Shaq Snaq, which coincidentally also is set to be announced Wednesday at Disney World.
Maybe Zo can't compete with the 57-foot Shaq balloon they're going to launch to announce Shaq's Mr. Big bar, the head of his stable. But Zo's bar is bigger, by a full ounce.
And not as lousy for you, to boot.
Eat a Mr. Big and you're choking down 13 grams of fat and 250 calories. Pound Zo's concoction and you're doing a mere nine grams of fat and 160 calories, which won't prevent you from going right out and throwing some elbows around on the court like our hero.
At least on the surface, Zo's not as blatantly in it for the bucks as Shaq, either. The Zo Bar will not be available in stores but only through fund-raising groups who get it from the exclusive local distributor, Butch Woodall in Newport News.
Shaq Snaqs are strictly retail, baby, ``popularly priced,'' according to the PR blurb, whatever that means. Zo's going to go for $1.50, which is uncharted territory for a sports-star specialty bar, Woodall says with a touch of concern.
The fund raisers get half that, Woodall gets some, the candy company gets some, Mourning gets gas money. Everybody wins.
The whole thing's the brainstorm of Morley Candy Makers in Michigan, who dickered on and on with Nike, the company that reigns virtually over Mourning's every move.
The bar's contents were easily agreed upon - peanuts and caramel are no-brainers. Getting the wrapper just right, apparently, was a real bug in the process.
Drawings had to be submitted and resubmitted for Nike's approval until the final version was reached - Mourning with a little, teeny waist and massive arms, biceps about the size of basketballs.
Like a Zo action figure, almost, which could be next. Shaq's got his, you know. Probably five.
So, anyway, about the wrapper, there's also this motivational quote supposedly from Zo: ``With confidence, dedication and hard work anything is possible.''
Not original, exactly, but it's authentic Mourning. He's never been much for the scintillating quote. Always been sort of brooding and surly, actually. But that's his style. You got a problem with that?
Woodall hopes if The Zo Bar takes off it might coax Mourning into a local appearance to hype it, but that might be asking too much. Even more than $1.50 for a chocolate bar.
Mourning attended Indian River High School and all, but he's scarce around here now, if you want to know the truth. No basketball camps. No charity golf tournaments. I don't know. Maybe Nike doesn't allow Mourning hometown visits unless the city council kicks in a little something.
Whatever. We got the bar. The wrapper, anyway, in honor of which I propose a couple of marketing slogans. On the house:
``The Zo Bar: Rich and getting richer.''
``The Zo Bar: Zo-delicious.''
``The Zo Bar: Just Buy It. Yeah, you!'' MEMO: Fund-raising groups can purchase The Zo Bar for resale by calling
Butch Woodall at 873-1277 or 800-772-3874.
ILLUSTRATION: The Zo Bar, a hefty 2.75 ounces of chocolate, caramel and
peanuts, also carries a hefty price tag - $1.50. Hey! You got a
problem with that?
by CNB