THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, October 26, 1995 TAG: 9510260428
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Charlise Lyles
LENGTH: Medium: 75 lines
Before his teacher could ask, ``Guys, what do we do when a lady comes into the room?'' Peter Walden was out of his chair.
``Good evening,'' said the husky-voiced 8-year-old giving a confident and cordial nod.
I was ever so impressed, especially since few grown men have treated me so mannerly.
Under the tutelage of Joyce P. White, the handsome lad is learning to be quite the gentleman.
Every Monday and Friday night, Walden joins more than a dozen other boys and girls at The Young People's Guild in Portsmouth. It's White's unique institute of etiquette, style and artistry.
From good manners:``Are we chewing gum?''
``Throw it way,'' the class choruses.
To good citizenship: ``And the ghetto is what?''
``One's mentality,'' reply all, 9- and 17-year-olds alike.
White is on the warpath against rudeness, especially that brand of ill manners that is repulsively en vogue among too many youths: From wearing pants that droop vulgarly south of the rump and baseball caps screwed on backward whatever the occasion, to flirting that oversteps personal boundaries, to talking too loud.
My Grandmother Mattie called it ``actin' ig'nant.''
Well, White's in business to bring civility back in style. The former school teacher is elegant in her own right, always tastefully stylish in heels and a smart suit.
White will introduce her class, debutante style, at the Nov. 2nd Jet Extravaganza, 7 p.m., Omni Waterside Hotel in Norfolk. Call 397-5763 for more info.
In preparation, they're practicing a dignified stride with heads held high.
Just a step away, a gaggle of parents look on, all smiles as White polishes their progeny.
``He has a hard time at home understanding why he needs to learn all this,'' says Shelia Walden, beaming like a new star as son Peter steps proudly foreward, escorting 7-year-old CaShea Coleman.
Midway down the foyer, each stops to recite name, age and aspiration.
``I'm going to be a judge,'' declares ponytailed Coleman in polka dots.
White knows you can't separate self-esteem, self-image and self-motivation. Thus, this week's essay topic: ``Why I Love Myself.''
``I love myself because I'm independent,'' reads Fulani Yarbrough, 10. ``I'm very flexible and can do lots of things. I'm funny too. . . . There is one thing I love, being an African-American.''
Next, Zaneta Epps, 11, a human bottle of bubbles, concludes, ``I love my craziness.''
``Are we sitting properly?'' White interjects. Backs shift upward. Ankles cross. Tiny fingers fold.
``I'm a biracial young woman who is striving to do my best and succeed in life,'' reads Denise Jackson, a Great Bridge High School junior. ``Most of all, I love myself because I am an individual.''
White's lessons go beyond tact and points of deportment.
``On first dates, you're supposed to do what?''
``Get to know what's inside their head,'' comes the chorus.
``Everyone's supposed to be friends, to go out in groups,'' says White. ``All this serious stuff's got to go, all the kissy and huggy. No! And you don't need to dance too close.''
To be sure, White's rules of conduct will make it cool once again to say ``Thank you,'' ``Please,'' and ``Excuse me, ma'am.'' ILLUSTRATION: [Color Photo]
GARY C. KNAPP
Dapper Peter ``P.J.'' Walden, 8, is receiving etiquette lessons.
by CNB