THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, November 3, 1995 TAG: 9511020156
SECTION: PORTSMOUTH CURRENTS PAGE: 08 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY REBECCA A. MYERS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 187 lines
TEN YEARS AGO Nancy Spivey gave birth to a daughter, only to lose her 10 days later due to complications from the pregnancy.
When she discovered she was pregnant three years ago, her first thought was, ``I can't go through this again.''
Spivey opened the phone book to find an abortion clinic, but came upon a column listing ``Abortion Alternatives.'' She decided to call the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater.
``I was crying and upset,'' said Spivey. ``And I was, like, `Well, it wouldn't hurt to call.' ''
She called the center's 24-hour hotline, located in Virginia Beach, and told the counselor that she was contemplating an abortion.
The counselor offered Spivey alternatives to terminating the pregnancy.
``They told me that they would hang in there with me regardless,'' she said. ``They offer you hope where there wouldn't otherwise have been any hope.''
The first Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater Inc. was established in Virginia Beach 10 years ago, under the guidance of the Christian Action Council of Washington, D.C.
Today there are three centers in this area, including a Portsmouth location that also serves Chesapeake residents.
Karen McIntyre, director of the Portsmouth center, says the organization ``exists to help women choose life.''
Each center works ``in a quiet, non-violent way,'' she said.
``We're decidedly, obviously, pro-life, but we are not out there as some of the other organizations are.
``I want to make that clear,'' she said. ``Other people do pro-life work, but it's not quite the same as what we do.
``We are a Christian organization, and so we certainly come from a Biblical perspective . . .
``But along with that is not judgment,'' McIntyre said.
Unlike groups that champion the rights of the unborn, the Crisis Pregnancy Centers concentrate their efforts on the needs of the woman.
``She's the main focus of what we're looking to assist,'' McIntyre said. ``She's the one in need at this point. She's the one who needs assistance and caring. . . .
``And you know what? If she feels cared for, she'll be able to care for that baby. That's what moms do.''
There are about 470 similar non-profit centers throughout the country, all run predominantly by volunteer staff and supported by contributions from individuals, churches and businesses.
Free and confidential services offered to women include pregnancy testing, parenting classes, referrals and practical support in the form of maternity clothes, baby clothes and supplies.
And counselors at the Crisis Pregnancy Center strive to offer women the emotional support they need to get through unexpected pregnancies.
``A lot of women facing unplanned pregnancies, no matter what age, feel forced into (abortion),'' said McIntyre, who has overseen the Portsmouth center since it opened in October 1993.
Often these women choose to terminate a pregnancy because they feel that no one will be there to support them if they decide to carry the baby to term, she said.
``And that is really not a choice,'' said McIntyre. ``When you feel forced into something, you're really not making a choice . . . We want them to know that there will be someone there for them.
``It's true that moms and dads may be giving the cold shoulder, a boyfriend may break up, but there will be someone there for her to call to talk to and to confide in and to support her,'' said McIntyre.
Spivey delivered her baby - a boy - three months premature. He lived only two minutes.
``Even though the baby . . . died, I'm glad I didn't choose (abortion), that I went on and tried anyway,'' said Spivey, who was confined to her bed throughout the risky pregnancy.
``I was thankful that the Pregnancy Center had even helped me that far,'' she said.
``I had an advocate who would come over and bring me a card, or she would call me and just tell me she loved me and was praying for me . . .
``We're still in contact today,'' said Spivey, a beautician. ``She's a friend.''
Without the initial help of the Virginia Beach office of the Crisis Pregnancy Center, Spivey probably wouldn't have found the courage to persevere when she became pregnant again a year later, she said.
That time the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Portsmouth provided Spivey the moral support she needed. And today the 40-year-old is the mother of a 16-month-old daughter, Megan.
``She's perfect, she really is,'' said Spivey, a resident of Simonsdale.
``I mean, she's beautiful.''
But even for those who choose abortion, the center offers counseling in group or individual sessions.
``Some women come through, have a pregnancy test, choose abortion and then come back and say, `Oh, boy. This is harder than what I expected,' '' said McIntyre.
Women who've had abortions in their pasts are offered counseling as well.
``Obviously, you don't forget,'' said McIntyre. ``There are lots of things in life you don't forget, but it doesn't have to become a troubling menace or a source of nightmares or tears.''
The centers offer a separate post-abortion support group for men.
The Portsmouth center, which is also open to residents of Chesapeake, serves about 15 women a month.
``We're not seeing near the people that I would like to see,'' said McIntyre.
According to McIntyre, Portsmouth has the largest number of teen pregnancies, per capita, in the state of Virginia.
``We could and should be seeing a lot more people than we are.''
But then again, not every female who is surprised by a pregnancy sees it as a tragedy, she added.
``There are so many, especially teens, who want to be pregnant,'' said McIntyre. ``It's not an unplanned crisis to them.''
The center does not prescribe birth control pills or give out condoms.
``As far as sexuality and birth control counseling go, because we're a Christian ministry and biblically based, what we advocate is abstinence outside of marriage,'' said McIntyre.
No age or income restrictions are placed on any of the center's clients.
``We are open to anyone who would need our services,'' said McIntyre. ``We see men, we see women, we see mothers, we see fathers - anyone who might be touched with the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. We don't turn anyone away.''
For women unable to afford baby clothes, the center maintains a storage shed filled with bins containing rubber pants, tights, hats, gloves, training pants, underwear, shoes, pajamas, blankets, towels, washcloths, blankets, diapers, sweaters and jackets.
``All of it is donated,'' said McIntyre. ``We purchase nothing.''
To replenish their stock, the center is periodically given ``baby showers'' by churches and individuals.
``They'll go out and buy for us as if they're buying for someone they knew. They give us little outfits and bonnets and things that a grandma would buy for her grandchildren,'' said McIntyre.
After a baby is born to one of their clients, the center will provide the new mother with an infant bathtub stocked with about two years' worth of baby items - pajamas in small, medium and large sizes, drawstring gowns, undershirts, baby shoes, booties, hats, bonnets, bibs, towels, washcloths, stuffed toys, a crib sheet, cloth diapers and clothing up to size 2.
The center remains available to the mother - should she require additional assistance - by referring her to other agencies that can help her financially, medically, or with housing or adoption needs.
``Our boundaries are the pregnant months,'' said McIntyre, ``but we don't want to leave them high and dry . . .
``Our goal is to have them plugged into other places and organizations that will aid them after pregnancy,'' she said.
McIntyre said it is the center's desire to see women back on their feet and back in the work force soon after their pregnancies.
``We don't want to be another stop on the `taking' train; yet sometimes things are just rough and someone needs to give them a break,'' she said.
``We just want to be a loving place where they can receive and not think about returning. . . . Once pregnancy hits, life as she knows it will change.
``And it always will, no matter if you're happily married or not.'' ILLUSTRATION: [Cover]
A HAVEN FOR WOMEN
[Color] Staff photo by BILL TIERNAN
Karen McIntyre, director of the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater
Inc., plays with 16-month-old Megan Spivey, whose mother came to the
center when she was pregnant.
Staff photo by BILL TIERNAN
Nancy Spivey holds daughter Megan in the waiting room of the Crisis
Pregnancy Center of Tidewater. The center helped her through the
loss of two other infants.
Staff photos by BILL TIERNAN
Karen McIntyre, director of the crisis center, sorts through baby
clothes in the storage area. The center also provides maternity
clothes and baby supplies. All the items are donated by churches
that hold periodic ``baby showers'' and by individuals. ``They'll go
out and buy for us as if they're buying for someone they knew. They
give us little outfits and bonnets and things that a grandma would
buy for her grandchildren,'' said Karen McIntyre, director of the
center.
Janice Baldwin, a volunteer, answers phone inquiries. She spends
several hours a week at the center, where counselors strive to offer
women the emotional support they need.
AT A GLANCE
What: Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater Inc. -
Portsmouth/Chesapeake Center.
Where: 5000 Portsmouth Blvd. at City Park Avenue, Suite 1.
Hours: Noon to 8 p.m. Mondays, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesdays, 9 a.m.
to 1 p.m. Thursdays, 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays. Closed on Wednesdays,
Fridays and Sundays.
Phone: 465-8888 (Portsmouth center) or 499-4444 (24-hour hotline,
except weekends).
by CNB