THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, November 6, 1995 TAG: 9511040066
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY KERRY DOUGHERTY
STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 111 lines
IF THIS WERE algebra class, Joseph Mashburn would be doing just fine.
Nothing wrong with an 80 average.
Unfortunately, he's bowling. In bowling you need a 1 in front of an 80 to be respectable.
Joseph Mashburn is a bad bowler.
But that's OK. He fits right in with the Lousy Bowlers League at Pinboys at the Beach on Laskin Road.
``Just missed it,'' he says with a wince as his ball cruises into the gutter during the second frame, leaving five pins standing.
``That's OK, honey,'' says girlfriend Connie Barbour, planting a kiss on his mouth.
Mashburn, who began the season with a 63 average, is one-fourth of the First Timers team. The others are Barbour; her daughter, Patricia; and her son Michael.
Michael, who's celebrating his 22nd birthday this night, is the team's ringer. His average is 122 and climbing.
And tonight he will bowl a stunning 164.
Bowling against the First Timers are the Deadpins. Like most of the teams, the bowlers are more adept at having a good time than at knocking down pins.
``We're definitely having more fun than those guys,'' says a laughing Deadpin Terry Brown, jerking her thumb toward the first 12 alleys where the ``scratch'' bowlers compete. Scratch bowlers are so good they bowl without handicaps. The lousy bowlers say the scratch bowlers bowl without having any fun.
It could be true. Things seem much more intense over in scratch territory. And quieter.
``Money's changing hands down there,'' says the Deadpins' Brian Bapties, casting an envious glance in that direction.
``Big money,'' agrees teammate Anna Dunn.
``You wouldn't dare clap or cheer down there, no way'' Brown says.
The fourth member of the Deadpins doesn't offer an opinion on the state of the scratch alleys.
Lynn Thompson's too busy tossing her 16-pound ball down the alley. It lumbers down the middle.
She gets a strike.
Thompson breaks into a big grin as lousy bowlers from the neighboring five lanes cheer and offer her high-fives.
``Everybody's pulling for everybody else in this league,'' says Brown, who also happens to be Thompson's mother. ``Winning isn't everything here.''
Thompson takes her seat at the team's round Formica table littered with Marlboro and Newport cigarette packs, Bic lighters, Kit Kat bars and jumbo packs of chewing gum.
``That was great,'' Bapties tells her. ``It's the heavier ball. I told you.''
Bapties persuaded Thompson to trade in her 12-pound ball for a 16-pounder.
``She was bouncing it down the alley,'' he explains.
The heavier ball has less bounce, but Thompson still exhibits that novice habit of dropping the orb on the slick alley - taking dead aim on the headpin.
Then again, style is a relative thing at Pinboys on Tuesday nights. The 12 lousy teams - with names like the Gutter Girls, Hukairs, Truly Fruities and Long Shots - are made up mostly of people who have only recently begun bowling. Or who are coming back to it after a long hiatus.
``I've been bowling about a year,'' Brown says. ``I used to bowl, though. About 35 years ago.''
``You must've just been a kid back then,'' Bapties says.
``I love this guy,'' Brown says, tousling his hair.
Most of the lousy bowlers throw straight down the alley, aiming for the headpin. They often hit it, but without enough power to knock 'em all down. The Lousy Bowling League is plagued with troublesome splits.
Bapties, a leftie, bowls a mean hook shot that skims along the left gutter and then, in a heart-stopping last moment, veers sharply to the right.
If he's lucky.
``If I miss my mark by even a quarter of an inch, I throw a gutter ball,'' he says.
Bapties has goals that go far beyond the Lousy Bowlers League. He dreams of always hitting his mark. Of competing in tournaments.
``Someday I want to be a district pro,'' he says, proudly showing off three of his five bowling balls.
He's only 18 and he's only been bowling for a year. You never know.
They're playing for fun and they're rooting for each other. But even in the Lousy Bowlers League, the tension mounts during the closing minutes of competition.
The Deadpins and First Timers are dead even.
It's the last frame of the last game and Mashburn has 62 pins.
Then the unbelievable happens. He bowls a strike.
He gets a really big kiss from Barbour this time. So big that he seems rattled.
He rolls the ball and only clips one pin.
He gets another kiss.
Mashburn takes a deep breath and lifts his ball.
And picks up a spare.
Whoops, high fives and another kiss. Then he looks at the score.
``I just added two points to my average,'' he says. ``Not bad. 82.'' ILLUSTRATION: HUY NGUYEN
The Virginian-Pilot
[Color Photos]
Scores are low but determination high among members of the Lousy
Bowlers League, including Anna Dunn.
Brian Bapties, who's been bowling a year and dreams of being a pro,
reacts to an errant toss at Pinboy's at the Beach in Virginia Beach.
by CNB