THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, November 9, 1995 TAG: 9511090026
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E2 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Bonko
LENGTH: Medium: 75 lines
NOBODY ASKED but . . .
You know it's the November sweeps when local newscasts turn to sex to inflate ratings. WAVY did a three-part series on pornography in cyberspace. WVEC rolled out an ``Extra'' on spouses who cheat.
The sharpest guy on late-night television isn't Dave or Jay. He's Bill Maher of ``Politically Incorrect'' on Comedy Central.
TV drama doesn't get any better than tonight's ``ER'' episode about the rescue of a 12-year-old boy in danger of going under in a flash flood. George Clooney locked up an Emmy nomination with this one.
My Spanish has improved by leaps and bounds since I started watching the Telemundo channel on cable. ``Western Union: Dinero en minutos.''
I hate to be the one to break the news to the 12-, 13- and 14-year-old girls who think that Scott Wolf of ``Party of Five'' is to die for: He plays a kid on TV but he's really an old man of 27.
I'm thinking of painting my refrigerator the same shade of blue I see on the fridge in Brett Butler's kitchen on ``Grace Under Fire.''
``News Channel 3 News at 11'' is such a mouthful. What was wrong with ``TV3 News''?
When I look in the mirror, I'd like to see the guy in the Lee cut-to-fit jeans commercial.
Death is too good for the slimeball character played by Antonio Sabato Jr. who has been abusing our girl Amanda on ``Melrose Place.'' Send him instead to ``Central Park West.''
I won't answer if you call me at 8 Sunday night. I'll be glued to my TV set watching Yoko Ono give comedy a stab on ``Mad About You.''
Television was invented to be a baby sitter, give new life to old movies and sell stuffed-crust pizza.
I swear, Courteney Cox on ``Friends'' looks like she doesn't eat more than 600 calories a day.
Since WVEC meteorologist Jeff Lawson starting wearing glasses on camera, he looks almost as wise as Duane Harding, his rival on WTKR.
I must be getting old. I remember when there were 20 westerns in primetime.
Now that I've seen the old Becky return to ``Roseanne,'' I've decided that I like the new Becky better.
If you think your life is rotten, it could be worse. You could be in the cast of UPN's ``Live Shot,'' which is No. 104 and dead last in the ratings.
You'll be disappointed if you expect to see Elaine from ``Seinfeld'' when Julia Louis-Dreyfus appears on ``The Single Guy'' tonight. She does a guest turn as a redhead. Very un-Elaine.
Whenever ``The Dirty Dozen'' is shown on the tube, I'm watching. I've seen the movie 38 times. Is this something I should see a shrink about?
Bonnie Hunt's excuse-me style of comedy is more irritating than entertaining. I'm glad CBS put her show in drydock.
You know it's time to cut the small talk on the local newscasts when WVEC anchorman Jim Kincaid reminisces about playing football in the snow. Was it during the Ice Age, Jim?
I'd like to see Helen Mirren's ``Prime Suspect'' on PBS evolve into a weekly series. Love her as the ``Guv,'' Inspector Jane Tennison.
It will take a better writer than me to describe Fran Drescher's voice. It's no put-on. The Nanny sounds the same on and off TV.
Only somebody who is desperate to be on television would dress up in a chicken suit for those Parkway Auto Superstore commercials.
Now that MacNeil has left Lehrer, I have the same empty feeling inside I had when Huntley split with Brinkley.
It's nice to see Dudley Moore find a home on TV after three failed sitcoms. The actor who was once married to a Portsmouth woman has popped up in rent-a-car commercials. MEMO: (Your comments and questions are welcome on the Infoline. Call 640-5555,
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