THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 12, 1995 TAG: 9511100158
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: FRANK ROBERTS
LENGTH: Medium: 93 lines
If you remember the old song ``I'm My Own Grandpa,'' you may recall that the explanations, though complex, made sense.
The story of the DuBois brothers - Derek, 33, and Benjamin DuBois II, 27 - who recently met for the first time, may rival it.
Benjamin, a John F. Kennedy High School graduate who lives on Cummings Drive and works for the local Pepsi Cola Bottling Co., was born and raised in Suffolk.
Derek was born and raised in the Bronx. His mother, Dorothy Barrett, was born in Franklin but left for the Bronx in the late '50s or early '60s.
There she met the man who was to become Derek's father. Derek was born in `61, and his parents split in 1967.
His father later married Edna Boone of Suffolk - in his home state of Connecticut, where she was visiting.
Benjamin was born to them. His mother now lives in Churchland and works at the Naval Regional Medical Center in Portsmouth.
``I didn't know I had a brother or sister until two years ago,'' Derek said. Sister Kelly DuBois, 23, lives in Greensboro, N.C.
She was born six months after her father, Benjamin Sr., was killed in an accident in New York on Nov. 20, 1972, Derek's birthday.
A 1972 letter about the accident was found about 10 years later, in a photo album in New York City.
Benjamin II was born in 1968, when Derek was 10.
Derek was told that same year that he had a brother who lived in Suffolk.
``When I met Benjamin's father, he told me he had a son living in New York,'' Boone said, ``but I didn't know how to find him. When Benjamin was old enough, I started telling him about his brother. He always wanted to meet him. Later, it became an obsession.''
Derek described the following as another twist in this pretzel family history: ``I'm still in New York, Benjamin's still in Suffolk, and I'd been coming to Franklin to stay with my grandmother every holiday. In the `60s and `70s, she took me to many churches in Suffolk.
``In 1985, when I was 24, I decided to move to Norfolk. I was tired of New York and this was the only other place I knew,'' he said. ``First I went to Portsmouth then, in 1987, to Norfolk.''
That year Benjamin joined the Army and was stationed at Fort Benning, Ga. He was discharged two years later, returning to Suffolk.
He got married in 1993, after an introduction by mutual friends, to Antonya Mills of Rocky Mount, N.C., who works at her mother's Saratoga Street beauty salon, Changing Faces.
Their son, Benjamin III is 2 1/2, daughter, Breona is a year old and daughter, Brandy, was born Oct. 19.
``We could have crossed paths anywhere - Virginia Beach, a mall. I visited grandma - still not knowing where my brother or sister were,'' Derek said. ``In November, 1993, my mom showed me the letter which told about my brother and sister being in the area.''
Derek put his last name in a computer ``and it brought up some DuBois' in Suffolk. I felt one of them was the one,'' he said.
While Derek was on the computer, Benjamin was on the phone, but for another reason.
``My wife and I were looking through the phone book for a guy I was in the service with. I happened to flip to our last name,'' Benjamin said. ``In past years there were only a few DuBois. This time, there were a whole lot.
``I asked my wife if one of them could be a relative. Derek's name just jumped out of the book,'' he said. ``I was scared to call him. I asked my wife to do it. There was no answer because he was at a family reunion.''
His wife tried again the next day.
``Derek answered just when he was getting ready to go back to the reunion.''
Benjamin joined the clan there.
``I was in a state of shock - nervous - it was like a dream,'' Derek said.
``This was the happiest I'd been since my kids were born,'' Benjamin said.
``Benjamin was named after his father, but Derek looks just like his father,'' Boone said. ``When I saw him I almost fainted, it was like seeing my husband all over again.
``The boys look alike from the nose up. Derek is quiet, Benjamin is lively, always joking. They both love music,'' she said. ``Since they met, they've been almost inseparable. They phone, they visit.''
The reunion made them realize that Benjamin lost out on 26 years of his life, not knowing his brother. For Derek - 32 years.
Every July there will be a family reunion at Best Western in Franklin.
``After all,'' Edna said, ``that's where they met.''
Derek's and Benjamin II's 84-year-old mother, Caroline Barrett, still lives in Franklin.
I like stories with happy endings - even this one, although I'm still not sure who's on first. ILLUSTRATION: Photo by FRANK ROBERTS
Derek DuBois, left, and Benjamin DuBois met for the first time
recently.
by CNB