THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 12, 1995 TAG: 9511120116
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JON GLASS, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH LENGTH: Medium: 92 lines
On her 51st birthday, a year after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Sandra Miller did something totally radical to celebrate her triumph over it: She jumped out of an airplane.
Miller's September skydiving whirl from 3,400 feet is just one of the things that impresses 14-year-old Daniel Ayers since the two met later the same month at his school.
In the few short weeks since school began, Miller has become not only his mentor but also a reliable friend.
``She's a really nice lady,'' said Daniel, an eighth-grader at the Center For Effective Learning, an auxiliary public school for middle schoolers who weren't making the grade in their home school because of academic problems, behavior or other troubles.
``I know that if I have any problems in school or in my life I can talk to her about it,'' he said. ``I know she's there for me. She made me realize what I need to succeed in life.''
Miller, director of development and community relations with Sentara Health System, launched the business mentor program at the Virginia Beach center six years ago. Now, she is among 15 Sentara employees given time off from work to meet weekly with an assigned student. About 200 students attend school there.
``There isn't one young person I've met who doesn't want to do right,'' Miller said. ``They just need to be channeled and focused in the right direction. The hardest part is not having enough adults. I'd like to have a mentor for every child in this school.''
Across the region last week, in forums sponsored by the Community Networking Association, citizens discussed ways businesses, churches, civic clubs and other community groups could work with schools to improve educational opportunities for children. Mentoring programs were high on the list.
Gail Chuy, head of admissions at the Center for Effective Learning, said adult mentors often can reach a child in a way that parents cannot. ``It is a very, very valuable program here,'' Chuy said. ``It gives them a chance to have an adult focus their attention on them, to listen to them and not be judgmental or hold anything over their heads. Most of the kids who come here don't have a lot of positive adult relationships.''
Daniel said that, in his case, he wasn't applying himself at his home school, Salem Middle. As a result, he flunked eighth grade last year.
``I was hanging around the wrong crowd and I was getting in trouble with my school,'' he said. ``I just wasn't doing my best and doing what I needed to keep my grades up.''
While Daniel said he has support from his mom and dad and a youth pastor at his church, Miller's friendship has given him something to look forward to at school. He's now making B's, he said.
Daniel's mom, Kathy Ayers, hasn't met Miller, but says she has felt her influence through changes in her son's attitude. It was so frustrating, she said, watching Daniel's ``downward spiral'' last year.
``There didn't seem to be a way his father and I could get him out of that, it was a snowball effect,'' she said. ``There are so many negative influences out there. For him, this (the mentoring program) has been a good thing.''
Besides her mentoring work with Sentara, Miller helped set up a similar program through the Virginia Beach division of the Hampton Roads Chamber of Commerce that has spread into six of the city's schools. She chairs the chamber's education committee.
Miller spends about an hour a week at the center with Daniel, usually just talking about what's going on in school and his life. When Daniel mentioned that he had a computer at home, for example, Miller began talking about a NASCAR computer game her husband enjoyed playing, and the conversation spun from there.
Over the years, she has boned up on football and baseball and learned about rap music to find common ground with her ``kids.''
A couple of years ago, she mentored a child constantly getting into trouble because of his temper. Finally, she went to school officials and asked if he could leave his class to call her whenever he began getting mad. Eventually, she said, the boy realized what he needed to do to deal with his anger.
``In his going to the office and calling me, it gave him time to cool off,'' Miller said. ``Basically, he understood it was a matter of walking away from it and giving himself time to think through things and cool off.''
Miller said businesses could help by giving employees time off during the day to work with kids.
``We feel like we're working with these kids one-on-one and we're role modeling for them so that they'll be better employees of tomorrow,'' Miller said.'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo by CHARLIE MEADS, The Virginian-Pilot
``I think that most of us as adults get more out of it than the kids
do,'' said Sandra Miller, right, the mentor for Daniel Ayers, a
student at Virginia Beach's Center For Effective Learning.
KEYWORDS: MENTOR PROGRAM VIRGINIA BEACH SCHOOLS by CNB