THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 26, 1995 TAG: 9511220232
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 05 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JEWEL BOND, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 113 lines
ON AUG. 22, Joe Lersky's wife suffered a fatal heart attack.
Jane wasn't supposed to die. In fact, she had been getting better.
For a year, Lersky had been close to his wife's side as she went through the radiation treatments, the chemotherapy, the skin grafts and the nine-hour surgery to replace the bone in her jaw.
Jane was battling with oral cancer, and she was winning. The doctors all said she was going to make it. But in the end, her heart just couldn't take the stress.
Jane and Joe, a former editor for the Celina Daily Standard, lived in Celina, Ohio, but they loved the Outer Banks. Twenty years ago, Joe said, they bought a cottage on the Kitty Hawk beachfront ``with an eye for possibly settling here'' when he retired.
After his wife's death, Joe knew this was where he wanted to be, to ``get my head together.''
The Mercer County Hospice in Ohio called the Dare Hospice to tell them that Lersky would be coming to the Outer Banks and could benefit from the group's bereavement support.
Dare Hospice Director Mary Ann Lindsey took that call.
``Joe knew about the hospice program through his involvement as a volunteer in Mercer County,'' Lindsey said. ``He and Jane had no children. She was his life, and his loss is great. We will be there for him as long as he needs support.''
The Dare Hospice, the five-county Albemarle Hospice and others like them care for terminally ill people who are no longer receiving curative treatment, whose life expectancy is measured in weeks or months, and who prefer to spend their last days at home.
The groups also offer support and assistance to the patients' families.
The term ``hospice'' goes back to medieval times, when it meant a place of rest for weary or ill travelers on a long journey. In the mid-1960s, the modern hospice concept was founded in England by physician Dame Cicely Saunders.
The first American hospice was established in 1974 in New Haven, Conn., and there are now more than 2,500 in the 50 states and Puerto Rico. Last year, hospices served more than 340,000 patients and family members.
Hospices care for about one out of every three terminal cancer patients in America, as well as about one out of every three AIDS victims.
For many, the grief experienced from the death of a loved one lasts months - even years.
``Grief is a statement that we loved someone,'' Lindsey said. ``It's the process of saying goodbye.''
The bereavement support group is composed primarily of people who have lost family members. Most hospices offer both group bereavement support and individual counseling for survivors, whether or not the patient was cared for by a hospice.
The best time to learn about the hospice and its service, Lindsey says, is before illness strikes. That's how Joe Lersky did it.
Lersky was introduced to the hospice program after he retired in 1992, and began to volunteer his spare time at the Mercer County Hospice.
``Once I got past the difficulty of inserting myself into the lives of strangers,'' he wrote in the Hospice Volunteer Journal, ``I found them fascinating, deeply moving and somehow gratifying.''
Lindsey says most volunteers feel this way. For some, it's difficult in the beginning to go one-on-one with a terminally ill patient. There are training classes for volunteers to learn the many ways they can contribute.
Volunteers can give back rubs and foot massages, take care of household chores, cook a special meal or just listen to suffering people who need to talk. Without these volunteers, many of the personal services provided through the hospice would not be possible.
Lindsey describes the hospice as an organization you can't see. ``It's a spirit,'' she says. ``It's friendship, and making the best of a limited life expectancy.''
The families' needs dictate volunteers' duties - reading to the patient, running errands or just giving a family member a little time away from the stress of illness.
``With hospice, there is always a way to do it,'' Lindsey said. ``We have 15 to 20 volunteers willing to go into homes to work with families.''
The Dare Hospice program staff includes a registered nurse, a social worker, a volunteer coordinator and volunteers.
``We have volunteers that also help with fund-raising,'' Lindsey said. ``We have local artists who volunteer their time and talent to produce three sets of note cards that are being sold throughout the Outer Banks.''
The Dare Hospice is a nonprofit corporation.
``We are licensed through the state of North Carolina, but we are dependent on community support for its operation through private donations, memorials and fund-raising,'' Lindsey said. ``Dare Hospice does not charge for any of its services.''
``When I volunteered for the hospice program,'' Lersky wrote in his article, ``I was asked, `Why subject yourself to such an obviously depressing business?' At first, I had no answer.''
But after some thought, Lersky wrote, the answer became apparent:
``Because, finally, the program is less death-embracing than life-enhancing; the sadness and depression are real enough, but so can be the sense of achievement delivered by the knowledge that some genuinely worthwhile and profound things have occurred.'' MEMO: Donations and memorials can be made to the Dare Hospice, P.O. Box 2511,
Kill Devil Hills, N.C. 27948. Mary Ann Lindsey can be reached at
441-3116.Donations and memorials can be made to the Dare Hospice, P.O.
Box 2511, Kill Devil Hills, N.C. 27948. Mary Ann Lindsey can be reached
at 441-3116.
ILLUSTRATION: Photos courtesy of DARE HOSPICE
Jane and Joe Lersky planned to retire together in Kitty Hawk. Jane,
who had been fighting cancer, died in August.
Dare Hospice volunteer Kaedra Bradford (sitting) sells hospice note
cards to Fran and Duke Owens of Ohio.
by CNB