THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 26, 1995 TAG: 9511240162
SECTION: COMMENTARY PAGE: J3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: GEORGE TUCKER
LENGTH: Medium: 72 lines
Over the years, Norfolk's downtown streets, buildings and public transportation systems have provided backdrops for numerous sprightly anecdotes. Here are four of my favorites to chuckle over while you are enjoying your Sunday morning coffee.
Shortly after Norfolk's first specialized library building was opened on West Freemason Street in November 1904, the facility was thrust into the limelight when an eagle-eyed patron discovered the following quatrain chalked up near the main entrance. Back then, professional library training was not regarded as essential throughout the former Confederacy. If you were a woman - preferably a spinster - belonged to an old family and were ardently devoted to the Lost Cause, you automatically qualified for a slot on any Southern Library's checkout desk. To cross one of these guardians of the public's books, particularly if your ancestors had fought for the Union, could be a perilous experience. Which serves to introduce my first anecdote.
One irate Norfolk patron, a retired U.S. Army officer whose father had fought under General Grant, became so incensed at the curt way he had been treated by some of the Freemason Street Library vestals that he inscribed this squib on one of the building's outside columns:
The bust of Pallas frowning o'er the door
Of the new library is proudly prim;
But watch your step - the dames who work inside
Are much more haughty, acid-tongued and grim.
Here's a theatrical yarn. When the movie ``The Gorilla'' was first shown here in the 1920s, a younger brother of Leon Nowitzky, the well-known Norfolk detective, was hired by Loews State Theater on Granby Street to dress up in an ape costume and ride around town in an open touring car to advertise the film. His promotional efforts were not confined to the open air. He also paid periodic visits to the theater when the movie was being shown. At those times the management would suddenly advertise his presence by flashing a spotlight on the place he occupied.
During one of these visitations, the ersatz simian sat down next to a timid retired Norfolk schoolteacher. Sensing that something large and hairy was seated beside her, the women turned in that direction just as a lurid green spotlight was flashed on the ``gorilla'' from the projection box. Just as she was about to faint, the ``gorilla'' recognized the teacher. Reaching over, he patted her on the hand and growled, ``Hi, Miss Em. I'm Al Nowitzky. Don't you remember teaching me at Robert E. Lee School?''
Turning to the jitneys - Norfolk's first automotive passenger carriers - right after World War I a dignified elderly matron boarded one on City Hall Avenue and found herself surrounded by a group of jolly sailors. After taking her seat, she noticed the young salt sitting beside her had rolled up the sleeves of his jumper, revealing a flamboyant tattoo of the American flag on his right arm.
``Young man, permit me to congratulate you,'' the matron beamed. ``That tattoo of Old Glory on your arm is certainly a striking indication of your sterling patriotism.''
There was a pause, after which the sailor grinned, tipped the matron a wink, and replied, ``Thanks lady, but you ain't seem nuthin' yet. I'm sittin' on the Kaiser!''
My last anecdote has Norfolk's former Court House and City Hall, now the MacArthur Memorial, as it setting. Shortly after the general had been buried in the dramatic crypt prepared for that purpose, a witty, retired colonel who had served under MacArthur in Korea visited the shrine to inspect the tomb. He encountered a befuddled couple who were trying to figure out who might later be entombed in the unoccupied sepulcher adjoining the general's, which the guides now point out is reserved for MacArthur's widow. Unaware of this arrangement, the couple sought an explanation.
``Oh, I'm glad you asked,'' the colonel replied with a poker face, adding, ``That vault is being reserved for President Harry Truman.'' by CNB