THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, November 29, 1995 TAG: 9511280106
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 08 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY JO-ANN CLEGG, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 205 lines
ON A CLEAR, CRISP morning when most people would prefer to be walking on the beach or catching up on late fall gardening, Barbra Stehlik is sitting at a crowded desk in a small office near the Oceanfront.
Behind an unmarked door in a location kept confidential to protect volunteers like Stehlik, she listens intently to the soft, frightened voice of a young man who has called Contact Tidewater, which for 21 years has lent an ear to the concerns, problems and fears of Hampton Roads residents.
``He said he was confused about instructions his therapist had given him,'' said Stehlik, a doctor's wife and mother of two grown children. ``But I think what he really wanted was a little reassurance.''
Reassurance is something Stehlik and the other Contact volunteers can provide in good measure, not just to those who are mentally ill or suicidal but to those who are lonely, frightened or confused. They also serve elderly persons living alone by calling each morning to check on them.
Like all of Contact's phone services, it's free to anyone who requests it by calling 428-2211.
The non-profit agency averages 1,000 calls each month, but keeping pace is proving difficult. Contact must find more volunteers to answer phones.
Already, the organization has been forced to eliminate the overnight service it once provided. Calls are now limited to 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily.
Al Duseault, a senior social worker with the Virginia Beach Department of Social Services, says Contact uniquely fills a need in Hampton Roads.
``Most hot lines are more crisis oriented, or deal with a specific problem,'' he said. ``Contact's the one place that anyone can call, even if they're just feeling the need to hear another human voice.''
While the agency deals with people who are truly in crisis, many of their callers only need someone who will listen.
Contact volunteers don't dispense medical advice or second-guess doctors or other professionals, but they do help people sort their thoughts and examine more clearly their options. They also refer callers to the agencies or services that can provide the necessary help.
The basic need to hear another human voice can be especially acute in highly transient Hampton Roads.
``There are so many people in this area who don't have family or friends, especially military people,'' said Social Services eligibility worker Ramona Griffin.
Griffin, a Hendersonville, N.C., native, speaks from personal experience. She is a former Navy officer who has served as a Contact volunteer for two years.
She and Duseault are so committed to the organization that they recently agreed to serve as Contact's co-directors.
They have taken over at a critical time. Contact needs more volunteers, more funds and a satellite location.
The most crucial need is volunteers. Contact hopes to attract a bumper crop of trainees for the 50-hour course the agency will offer in January.
``When we first started, most of our volunteers were homemakers,'' said Lil Quigg, who has the responsibility for scheduling the agency's volunteers. ``But there are not too many of them staying home full time anymore.''
Because of that, providing adequate phone coverage has become a juggling act. With about 40 volunteers currently on the rolls, Quigg spends a lot of time poring over blank calendar pages and a dog-eared list with too few names to fill the voids.
Although many of the agency's dedicated volunteers fill more than the required two five-hour shifts each month, the office phone must be diverted sometimes to a volunteer's home. On rare occasions, no one is available to answer calls.
Quigg also laments the agency's inability to provide 24-hour service, which it once offered. ``We don't have overnight shifts anymore,'' she explained.
Finding people who were willing and available to work through the night has always been a problem.
The solution, for several years, was a sub-contract that paid Contact's overnight workers for handling up to 1,000 emergency and routine TDD calls for the hearing impaired each week.
When the telephone company took over those services, the agency's board reluctantly agreed to abandon overnight services.
Quigg and Contact's new co-directors hope to change that.
Griffin, who's working on a master's degree in social work at Norfolk State University, is trying to enlist the aid of undergraduate and graduate students at NSU and other area schools.
``I highly recommend it to anyone who's in psych, social work or counseling,'' Griffin said. ``It's excellent experience, even for those currently working in the profession who want to get a different perspective.''
Contact volunteers agree.
Donna Mahrenholz, a Kings Grant homemaker, has found the experience invaluable.
When she heard about the agency's training program - it includes such topics as counseling skills, teen issues, HIV/AIDS, suicide, substance abuse, domestic violence, the elderly and divorce - she decided it was something she could put to good use.
``People always called me with their problems anyway, so I figured I'd better know what I was doing,'' said the mother of two teenagers who also is active with her church's youth group.
But Mahrenholz found that the problems she's listened to as a Contact volunteer go far beyond what she was accustomed to hearing.
The calls, she explained, can range from the disjointed ramblings of a mentally ill person who has stopped taking her medication to the acute anxiety of a welfare mother running out of food or the abject despair of a youngster who feels that no one cares about him.
``When you talk with any of these people who call, you have to be totally non-judgmental and accepting,'' she added. ``When you're properly trained, it comes easily. And,'' she continued, ``it spills over into everyday life.''
Although Mahrenholz typifies the homemakers who have been the backbone of Contact's volunteer corps, new recruits are more likely to come from the growing population of retirees.
Bill Nufer, a retired dentist from Danville, moved to Virginia Beach a few years ago.
``I've always been interested in being of service to people,'' he said, ``and I figured this would be a good way to continue that lifestyle. It makes you feel like you're needed.''
Like many, Nufer learned about Contact Tidewater through a meeting at his church.
Although the agency has enjoyed strong support from area churches and synagogues over the years and operates from an office in Virginia Beach, its mission is limited neither by creed nor geography.
According to the agency's mission statement, Contact Tidewater is a Judeo-Christian, but non-pastoral, telephone crisis and counseling line serving South Hampton Roads.
Because of its location the agency has been staffed primarily by Virginia Beach residents, but callers from across South Hampton Roads use its services. Duseault and Griffin are trying to make it easier for residents of other cities to become Contact volunteers by looking for space to establish a satellite office in a more central location.
``We could use just about anything,'' Duseault said. ``A church, an empty office in another non-profit agency or some space that a business might have available.'' The prime requirement is that it be available 24 hours a day.
Particularly desirable would be something around the I-64/I-264/Route 44 interchange, which would provide easy access for volunteers from Portsmouth and Chesapeake as well as those coming from Norfolk and area colleges.
By attracting a larger volunteer force, the new directors are hopeful that the phones will again be staffed overnight and that they'll have the luxury of assigning two volunteers to most shifts.
But another stumbling block stands in the way - money.
Contact's total annual budget is about $14,000 a year. It buys supplies, pays the phone bill and covers the directors' stipend.
Like many agencies that operate on the proverbial shoestring, Contact depends on donations from churches, businesses and individuals. The agency also sponsors a variety of fund-raisers.
``We sell Entertainment books,'' Duseault said, ``and we wrap packages at the mall on several holidays, but we're going to have to look at other ways of raising money, too.''
Additional money also might be needed to make the satellite office handicap friendly.
Being able to accommodate physically challenged volunteers would add another dimension to the work of the small agency that is still serving Hampton Roads nearly 21 years after the first volunteer picked up the phone and answered, ``Contact Tidewater, may I help you?'' ILLUSTRATION: A CALL FOR HELP
[Cover, Color photo]
ON THE COVER: Phone volunteer Barbra Stehlik, a doctor's wife and
mother of two, offers her help.
Staff photos by CHARLIE MEADS
Ilse Schall, a grandmother who lives Virginia Beach, has given 15
years of phone service to Contact Tidewater.
Staff photos, including color cover, by CHARLIE MEADS
Donna Mahrenholz, a Kings Grant homemaker, has found the experience
invaluable. ``When you talk with any of these people who call, you
have to be totally non-judgmental and accepting. When you're
properly trained, it comes easily.'' And, she continued, ``it
spills over into everyday life.''
``I've always been interested in being of service to people, and I
figured this would be a good way to continue that lifestyle. It
makes you feel like you're needed,'' says Bill Nufer, a retired
dentist from Danville who moved to Virginia Beach a few years ago.
LEFT: Lil Quigg, who schedules the agency's volunteers, spends a lot
of time poring over blank calendar pages and a dog-eared list with
too few names to fill the schedule voids.
DO YOU NEED HELP?
Contact Tidewater volunteers are at 428-2211 from 7 a.m. until 11
p.m. daily to take calls from anyone in South Hampton Roads who
needs help finding resources or just needs someone who will talk
without judging. Although callers aren't limited to these
situations, the most common calls are from people who are:
Lonely
Depressed
Jobless
Homeless
Feeling hopeless
Mentally or physically ill
Frightened
Confused
Worried about HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases
Concerned about pregnancy
In abusive relationships
Living with substance abuse - their own or that of a loved one
CAN YOU OFFER HELP?
Contact Tidewater is now interviewing applicants interested in
taking the 12-session training course, which will meet for two
evenings each week starting the week of Jan. 15. Call 428-2211 for
more information.
by CNB