THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 3, 1995 TAG: 9511290051
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REAL LOVE
SOURCE: BY ROSEMARY GOUDREAU, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 177 lines
FROM HER POINT of view, the vacuum cost too much money, didn't compare to her Hoover, cost too much money, was an unnecessary luxury and cost too much money.
``I don't care if it's lined with gold, it's not worth that kind of money,'' said Nettie Gurganus, 70, of Kempsville.
For her husband Milton, the $1,250 wasn't the issue. He was sold on the vacuum's claim to catch dust mites, purify the air, pick up flea eggs, shampoo rugs and improve the quality of life for some people with respiratory problems.
He was only thinking of her, Milton said. ``I thought this would take care of her allergies.''
Instead, the vacuum cleaner almost ended their 47-year marriage.
The trouble is, Milton said, ``we men flub up. I just wasn't listening.''
That's it exactly, said Nettie. He didn't listen. ``It made me feel so insignificant.''
Before their months-long argument ended, Nettie left Milton for several days. She spent the time in prayer, searching the scriptures for solace. She was troubled by what she didn't find there.
``It would almost have been easier if he'd committed adultery,'' she said. In that case, there's a scriptural reason for ending a marriage. But not listening to her and buying a vacuum? The scriptures were silent on that.
And so Nettie returned to Milton. He, too, had been praying. He asked forgiveness.
They never spoke of the vacuum again until one recent Sunday when, looking at a potential buyer, Nettie brought the vacuum out from deep within the closet.
I met Nettie through the classifieds on my search for a good deal on a good vacuum. Hers was the second ad I answered.
On the first, I talked to a woman selling a 6-month-old Electrolux. When I asked why she was getting rid of her vacuum so soon, the woman's voice hit a dreamy note. She told me about the Rainbow vacuum cleaner and its special water filter that promises to help end the scourge of dust mites. She wanted to sell her Electrolux so that she could buy a Rainbow.
Several weeks later, I spotted an ad for a Rainbow, ``like new. Used only once. Paid $1,250. Sell $875.''
I asked the woman on the phone why she was selling her vacuum after using it only once.
Replied Nettie: ``It's a long, personal story.''
The story began when a woman in the neighborhood asked the Gurganuses if she could demonstrate the Rainbow vacuum cleaner to them. Nettie said no. But Milton was intrigued, so Nettie agreed.
``I sat in the chair and looked so angry at her the whole time,'' Nettie said.
When Nettie heard the price, she put her foot down. She told Milton they couldn't afford it. ``He completely ignored me.
``He'll always say, `I don't make a decision without consulting you.' I tell him, `Sure you do, but you always do what you want.''
Weeks later, on her 70th birthday, Milton presented Nettie with a big, beautifully wrapped box. When Nettie tore through the paper, she screamed. ``I SEE THE BOX!'' And then, ``I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT THAT!''
``Nettie,'' Milton told her, ``you know you need that. You need to get all the mites out of this carpet because they're making you sick.''
Nettie is allergic to pollen and pine. May - the month of her birthday - is particularly bad. Her eyes water. Her nose runs. And Milton hates to see her suffer like that.
``I thought she would like it,'' Milton said.
Nettie thought maybe Milton was trying to impress someone else. ``He may have been trying to impress the saleswoman.''
Nettie had wanted a sprinkler system for her birthday. Milton is a retired plumber, so she didn't figure that was asking too much. She didn't want a diamond, ``but I'd have rather had another diamond than that vacuum cleaner!''
Nettie saw no need for the Rainbow. Her Hoover worked just fine.
Nettie had had a Hoover since she and Milton were married. A friend, who kept a spotless household, once told her, ``Now Nettie, you want to get a Hoover. Those are the only things able to keep your house the way it should be kept.''
``I can whisk that thing out and go over the place, like that,'' said Nettie. ``I may not have all the dust mites, but I can't tell it. And neither can anybody else.''
Ann Goodroe, who runs a Rainbow distributorship in Virginia Beach, said the Rainbow is more than a vacuum cleaner. ``The dirt sticks to the water, then clean air comes back out. These are called a home purification system . . . for that reason.
``Usually men are very fascinated with it because of the way it works,'' she said. ``They just see the ingenuity and they want to use something like that.''
Milton was clearly impressed. ``They say it works at 100 percent efficiency,'' he said. ``This machine is completely efficient.''
Consumer Reports was less impressed.
In its January edition, the magazine called the Rainbow ``a very poor buy.'' Of 11 canister vacuums, the Rainbow ranked seventh - between the $400 Sears Kenmore Whispertone and the $120 White-Westinghouse V.I.P.
Goodroe says Consumer Reports ``has it out'' for the Rainbow.
As I was leaving to look at the Rainbow, Mark, my significant other, stopped me.
``Where are you going?''
``To look at a vacuum cleaner.''
``We don't need a vacuum cleaner.''
``Yes, we do. You know we do.''
Ours is missing a wheel. Besides, I really wanted to see that Rainbow. It was almost calling to me. I had my checkbook in my purse.
Mark mentioned another item I'd bought through the classifieds that hadn't worked out. I mentioned those that did. Finally, in a tone I had never heard him use before, he told me, ``If you come back with that vacuum, you can just keep on driving.''
Within weeks of buying the Rainbow, Milton saw that Nettie had no plans to use it and so decided to try it out himself.
``He went all over this house. Every inch. Even the kitchen floor. He wanted to make sure there wasn't a dust mite in the house that week,'' Nettie said.
A week or so later, when he was out of the house, Nettie took out her Hoover and cleaned. When Milton returned, he was pleased.
``Did you enjoy the vacuum cleaner?'' he asked her.
``I always enjoy my Hoover,'' she replied.
``You used the Hoover?''
``Yes, Milton, I used the Hoover.''
Then Milton said something he would later regret.
He said he'd asked the saleswoman to come demonstrate the Rainbow again.
Now Nettie was really angry. They had words. When it ended, Milton went for a ride. Nettie went for a suitcase. She started packing.
As she pulled away from the house in tears, she thought, ``I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm driving away from my own house.''
Nettie went to her son's house and prayed for strength.
``I derive all my strength from the Lord. He gives me strength to carry on.''
She knew she had to - and wanted to - return to Milton. When she walked in the door, Milton reached for her and held her close.
It was then that Milton promised to get rid of the vacuum. He placed an ad in the paper.
``We got one call during that first month,'' Nettie said. ``There's a lot of smart people out there. They know that machine is not even worth that.
``You're the third caller.''
By now I knew I wouldn't be taking this vacuum cleaner home. After all, what would Nettie think of me? Instead, we continued to talk. I told her about a woman I knew whose husband gave her a surprise 40th birthday party. The woman was furious. She had told her husband she didn't want a party, that there were too many other things they could do with the money. But he didn't listen. When she walked into the party, she turned around and walked out.
In her best-selling book on the different ways in which men and women communicate, Deborah Tannen said, ``The accusation, `You're not listening,' often really means, `You don't understand what I said in the way that I meant it,' or `I'm not getting the response I wanted.'
``Being listened to can become a metaphor for being understood and being valued,'' Tannen wrote.
I thought about Mark and his admonition to me. I realized he spoke in the extreme because he felt he wasn't being heard. His outburst definitely captured my attention. While I was still a bit angry about his method, I was glad that I was going home empty-handed.
Before my call, Nettie hadn't said anything to Milton about the ad in the paper or the lack of calls.
``It's over for me. I had taken it to the Lord and asked for strength to cope with things the way they were. If it doesn't get sold, it will still be here.''
A week later, Milton got the call he wanted. A woman with allergies wanted to buy his Rainbow.
Three years from now, Nettie and Milton will celebrate their 50th anniversary.
``I've told my children,'' she said, ``that I do not want a public observance of this day!''
Let's hope they're listening. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
MOTOYA NAKAMURA/The Virginian-Pilot
Milton Gurganus bought a fancy, expensive vacuum cleaner for his
wife, Nettie. She bristled. They argued. She packed her bags.
Photo
ROSEMARY GOUDREAU
This is about as close as Nettie Gurganus got to her $1,250 vacuum
cleaner, a 70th birthday gift from her husband.
by CNB