THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, December 5, 1995 TAG: 9512050042
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E4 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MATTHEW BOWERS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 73 lines
PSST. PARENTS. A moment of your time, please.
We've got two words to help guide you as you shop for your kids this Christmas: no underwear.
Your children aren't unappreciative of the thought and all, but they just don't want underwear. Not for Christmas. And not in front of grandparents' clicking cameras or as the centerpiece of the family holiday video.
We've got some other words for you, too: no personal-hygiene stuff, like toothbrushes; no Barbies for boys, however un-liberated that sounds; and no Barneys - dolls, banks, slippers, whatever.
While everyone's talking about the hottest new toys or the old-fashioned favorites for gifts this year, we checked with children at John Tyler and Olive Branch elementary schools in Portsmouth to get them to jot down what they hope NOT to get. A little public service, if you will, for all kids everywhere who excitedly upend their stockings Christmas morning and find . .
Underpants.
``It was embarrassing because all my family was there and I had to show everybody my presents!'' wrote Tabatha Edwards, a fourth-grader at Olive Branch.
Fifth-grader Ashlea Laster's gift underwear even had the days of the week printed on them. ``The worst about it was that I had to show them to the video camera,'' she wrote.
Clothes aren't a big hit in general with the younger crowd, particularly when they're too small. Or old-fashioned. Or it's a girl's pink-and-purple sweater and you're a boy. Or they're just too, well, different, like tight-stretch gold pants.
``I looked like Sha Na Na,'' wrote Jessie Johnson, a fifth-grader at Olive Branch. ``So my mom said I don't have to wear it. I said, `Thank God.' ''
Another classmate suffered with a multicolored hat that ``looked like something a horse would eat out of.''
Other gifts to avoid, according to students speaking from experience: A penny. A rock. A bike missing a wheel. A live talking bird with insomnia.
Perfume that smelled like pepper and made the recipient sneeze.
Neon green-and-blue, glow-in-the-dark socks that made everyone laugh.
Also, anything deemed too juvenile, a major complaint, even from kindergartners.
The age factor works the other way, too. Fifth-grader Renee Daniels's little sister once got an oversized Barbie. ``She was scared of it,'' Renee wrote. ``Whenever she saw it, she ran. She would peek and see if the doll was following her. I guess she was scared of it because it burped and it was bigger than her.''
Over at John Tyler Elementary in Portsmouth, practicality was the big measure for unwanted presents.
That's why fifth-grader Jessica Austin wouldn't want earrings: ``I don't have holes in my ears.''
And why first-grader Ryan Johnson wouldn't want a skateboard: ``I can't ride it. There are rocks in my alley!''
And why Abdul Johnson wouldn't want a dog: ``I have to clean up behind it.''
And why second-grader Candace Watson wouldn't want an armadillo: ``My mom would kill me.''
No toys that break easily. No dolls that look scary at night. No spelling or math books or multiplication-facts cards - please. These things aren't in the holiday spirit, apparently.
Francesca Ramos wouldn't want any household appliances. How many microwaves and washing machines does a fourth-grader need, anyway?
And several shared Darius Caldwell's concern for what apparently would be a serious holiday downer:
``I hope I don't get another brother.'' by CNB