THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 17, 1995 TAG: 9512180187
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY TONY WHARTON, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH LENGTH: Long : 194 lines
Whad'ya know. A gazillion tourists spending all their money at the Virginia Beach Oceanfront can't light a fire under Mayor Meyera E. Oberndorf like 10 minutes with a gentle humorist named Michael Feldman.
``I'm so excited by standing near you I could just die,'' Oberndorf gushed to Feldman Saturday morning at the Virginia Beach Pavilion during a visit by his National Public Radio show, ``Whad'ya Know?''
``Well, I feel the same way,'' Feldman answered, followed by the pregnant pause his fans know is leading into a quip: ``And you know, Meyera, I do have the honeymoon suite.''
Few honeymoons in Virginia Beach could have been sweeter or funnier than the reception Hampton Roads residents gave Feldman, or more loving than the well-researched barbs he threw back.
For two hours before an audience of about 1,800 at the Pavilion, and a nationwide radio audience of hundreds of thousands, Feldman bantered with residents, interviewed some of the better-known, and tested their knowledge of Hampton Roads history.
``Wendy,'' calling from Chesapeake, knew what a San Diego caller did not - that George Washington helped survey the Dismal Swamp. But she came up short on the local legend of the Witch of Pungo, when asked how the witch was reputed to have sailed across the sea.
Wendy and her quizzing partner, Dick, said a seashell. No, Feldman said, it was an eggshell.
Feldman, who prepared by reading local newspapers in advance, opened the show with an unerring comic commentary on Hampton Roads.
No home-grown wit could have better sized up the native eccentricities.
In particular, he zeroed in on the name: ``The problem with the area is what do you call it? . . . Some of you are here from Norfolk, Newport News, Chesapeake, Hampton, Greater Portsmouth, Lesser Portsmouth. Plus you've got the Canadian Football League here, which really screws things up.
``Hampton Roads is I guess what they're leaning towards. OK, Norfolk, but you can't call it that because then everyone else would feel left out, right? Because there's all these other places that resent you guys for no particular reason, I don't know why, I don't know the whole story.
``I can't even pronounce Norfolk properly myself without being embarrassed.''
He further probed the local psyche in an interview with Sally Kirby Hartman, author of ``The Insider's Guide to the Chesapeake Bay.''
Asking her about the region's name, Feldman said, ``It was a compromise then. This is like medieval Italy then; you've got these warring duchies? Are they at war, or have hostilities been suspended? Is it a Balkan situation here, is there a little tug of war between Norfolk and Virginia Beach?''
Feldman also interviewed Virginian-Pilot writer and national author Mike D'Orso, who informed Feldman he had found the humorist's book at Waldenbooks, not in the bargain table, but under it, beneath a stack of copies of ``Super Potency.''
``Well, that was the original title,'' Feldman responded.
During breaks, local jazz musician Jae Sinnett sat in on Feldman's ``Whad'ya Know Trio.''
Afterward, Oberndorf said she had the original idea to invite Feldman here, from spending Saturday mornings listening to him and the hit car-repair show, ``Car Talk.''
``Each time he would say, `This time we are in . . .,' I always said to (my husband) Roger, `He needs to come here,' '' she said. ``So we invited him.''
Feldman was supposed to appear during the Neptune Festival in September, but caught his son's flu and postponed the appearance until Saturday.
The result, Oberndorf said blissfully, ``was a golden two hours in the life of Virginia Beach.''
Whad'ya know. A gazillion tourists spending all their money at the Oceanfront can't light a fire under Mayor Meyera E. Oberndorf like 10 minutes with a gentle humorist named Michael Feldman.
``I'm so excited by standing near you I could just die,'' Oberndorf gushed to Feldman Saturday morning at the Virginia Beach Pavilion during a visit by his National Public Radio show, ``Whad'ya Know?''
``Well, I feel the same way,'' Feldman answered, followed by the pregnant pause his fans know is leading into a quip: ``And you know, Meyera, I do have the honeymoon suite.''
Few honeymoons in Virginia Beach could have been sweeter or funnier than the reception Hampton Roads residents gave Feldman, or more loving than the well-researched barbs he threw back.
For two hours before an audience of about 1,800 at the Pavilion, and a nationwide radio audience of hundreds of thousands, Feldman bantered with residents, interviewed some of the better-known, and tested their knowledge of Hampton Roads history.
``Wendy,'' calling from Chesapeake, knew what a San Diego caller did not - that George Washington helped survey the Dismal Swamp. But she came up short on the local legend of the Witch of Pungo, when asked how the witch was reputed to have sailed across the sea.
Wendy and her quizzing partner, Dick, said a seashell. No, Feldman said, it was an eggshell.
Feldman, who prepared by reading local newspapers in advance, opened the show with an unerring comic commentary on Hampton Roads. No home-grown wit could have better sized up the native eccentricities.
In particular, he zeroed in on the name: ``The problem with the area is what do you call it? . . . Some of you are here from Norfolk, Newport News, Chesapeake, Hampton, Greater Portsmouth, Lesser Portsmouth. Plus you've got the Canadian Football League here, which really screws things up.
``Hampton Roads is I guess what they're leaning towards. OK, Norfolk, but you can't call it that because then everyone else would feel left out, right? Because there's all these other places that resent you guys for no particular reason, I don't know why, I don't know the whole story.
``I can't even pronounce Norfolk properly myself without being embarrassed.''
He further probed the local psyche in an interview with Sally Kirby Hartman, author of ``The Insider's Guide to the Chesapeake Bay.''
Asking her about the region's name, Feldman said, ``It was a compromise then. This is like medieval Italy then; you've got these warring duchies? Are they at war, or have hostilities been suspended? Is it a Balkan situation here, is there a little tug of war between Norfolk and Virginia Beach?''
Feldman also interviewed Virginian-Pilot writer and national author Mike D'Orso, who informed Feldman he had found the humorist's book at Waldenbooks, not in the bargain table, but under it, beneath a stack of copies of ``Super Potency.''
``Well, that was the original title,'' Feldman responded.
During breaks, local jazz musician Jae Sinnett sat in on Feldman's ``Whad'ya Know Trio.''
Afterward, Oberndorf said she had the original idea to invite Feldman here, from spending Saturday mornings listening to him and the hit car-repair show, ``Car Talk.''
``Each time he would say, `This time we are in . . .,' I always said to (my husband) Roger, `He needs to come here,' '' she said. ``So we invited him.''
Feldman was supposed to appear during the Neptune Festival in September, but caught his son's flu and postponed the appearance until Saturday.
The result, Oberndorf said blissfully, ``was a golden two hours in the life of Virginia Beach.'' ILLUSTRATION: Graphics
NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO
LOCAL LAUGHS
Michael Feldman on. . .
Pat Robertson: ``I guess the big news in the area right now is the
new area code. Did you hear they selected one? Yes, 666.
``Whoa. I guess Pat Robertson's going to have to move, huh? He
couldn't have the 666 Club. It would be kind of
counterproductive.''
Jewish televangelism: ``I was going to start a Jewish
televangelists club. The 699.95 Club. Not bad. Salvation wholesale.
Why pay list?''
The Oceanfront: ``It's exactly like the south of France. Except
that instead of semi-nude French women, you see slightly older
Canadian ladies. They say it's 38 miles of beach, is that true? You
can meet any size or shape Canadian you want.''
MICHEAL[sic] SAYS
Virginia Beach's Christmas lights display: ``Have you seen those? .
. . Costs seven bucks a car. You sit out there and go, that's seven
bucks, seven bucks, seven bucks, seven bucks. That adds up, you
know. You got 28 bucks and a crick in the neck.''
Virginia Beach's Life Saving Museum: ``It's kind of Baywatch meets
the Smithsonian.''
Virginia Beach's desire for a downtown: ``So go up north and get
one of those defunct downtowns everyone has, ship it down here,
brick by brick. It'll be authentic, it'll be like Williamsburg.
`Defunct American City,' you can charge people seven dollars to
drive past it. . . . Yeah, they laughed at Mount Trashmore, too.
(Pause) And they still are, thank you very much.''
Michael Feldman on. . .
Pat Robertson: ``I guess the big news in the area right now is the
new area code. Did you hear they selected one? Yes, 666.
``Whoa. I guess Pat Robertson's going to have to move, huh? He
couldn't have the 666 Club. It would be kind of
counterproductive.''
Jewish televangelism: ``I was going to start a Jewish
televangelists club. The 699.95 Club. Not bad. Salvation wholesale.
Why pay list?''
The Oceanfront: ``It's exactly like the south of France. Except
that instead of semi-nude French women, you see slightly older
Canadian ladies. They say it's 38 miles of beach, is that true? You
can meet any size or shape Canadian you want.''
Virginia Beach's Christmas lights display: ``Have you seen those?.
. . Costs seven bucks a car. You sit out there and go, that's seven
bucks, seven bucks, seven bucks, seven bucks. That adds up, you
know. You got 28 bucks and a crick in the neck.''
Virginia Beach's Life Saving Museum: ``It's kind of Baywatch meets
the Smithsonian.''
Virginia Beach's desire for a downtown: ``So go up north and get
one of those defunct downtowns everyone has, ship it down here,
brick by brick. It'll be authentic, it'll be like Williamsburg.
`Defunct American City,' you can charge people seven dollars to
drive past it. . . Yeah, they laughed at Mount Trashmore, too.
(Pause) And they still are, thank you very much.''
by CNB