THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, January 11, 1996 TAG: 9601110465
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C8 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Opinion
SOURCE: BY DAVE LEWIS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 79 lines
What a mess.
CFL teams, American style, folding like rusty old beach chairs.
Other teams jumping city to city, acting as though they are staying one step ahead of the law.
Then there's Baltimore, the strongest team in the U.S., considering herding up its Stallions and moving them, along with their shiny new Grey Cup trophy, to greener pastures - minus the shade of Browns.
And, of course, there's the Shreveport Pirates who showed up at our doorstep like heat rash in the middle of July.
What to do?
Well, nobody asked me. ... but if Pirates president Lonie Glieberman really wants to impress his CFL friends, he should consider this:
Tell `em you'll be able to draw 40,000 a game in Norfolk.
40,000?
Yup, Lonie, 40,000!
You can pull it off with a little ingenuity.
Put 25,000 at Foreman Field and 15,000 at Harbor Park - on the same night.
Play the first half at Foreman Field and the second half at Harbor Park.
Install giant screens at both stadiums so the folks at Harbor Park can watch the first-half action at Foreman Field, and then during the second half at Harbor Park, well, you get the idea.
Add a little spice and reverse the procedure from game to game.
Think about the windfall, Lonie. Double parking fees, double concession sales, double program sales, double souvenirs, double exposure.
Provided you make most of the traffic lights, it takes roughly 12 minutes driving time between Foreman Field and Harbor Park. If you get delayed, let the bands play a little longer.
You already have an odd field. Why not an odd halftime?
To save time, have the players go over their halftime strategy on the bus trip.
Offer special tickets for those who want to see both halves live. Let them ride on the bus with the players so they can add their input.
And if you can find a fan who is also a bus driver. ...
One other thing. Forget that business about upgrading the locker room facilities at Foreman Field. Make the players dress at home.
So your biggest expense will be those giant screens. Check out the sales at K-Mart.
But in order to pull this off, Lonie, you're going to have to kill that silly advertising pitch - ``Pro football is coming. The good news it's not the NFL.'' That's like General Motors boasting, ``Check out our Chevy Cavalier. The good news it's not a Mercedes.''
Also, now is as good a time as any to pick a name for our new team.
I've heard all the suggestions - Norfolk Pirates, Hampton Roads Pirates, Virginia Pirates, Chesapeake Bay Pirates.
How about the East Carolina Pirates?
Hey, go with a winning football program. Those guys recently completed their second straight Liberty Bowl trip.
Where have your Pirates gone lately, other than skip out of Shreveport with a paper trail of debts?
A friend of mine suggests you call your team the Los Angeles Rams. Nobody is using that name right now.
And when you decide to jump to the NFL, well, you've already got a big-league moniker.
OK, we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.
First things first.
Kick it off at Foreman Field.
Win it at Harbor Park.
Big screens.
Big screams from 40,000 crowds.
But do it now, Lonie, before those Baltimore/Houston/Miami/Richmond guys hear about it. MEMO: Dave Lewis, a sports copy editor, covered the Washington Redskins for
14 years of his 35 at the Virginian-Pilot and Ledger-Star.
by CNB