THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, January 18, 1996 TAG: 9601170131
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 12 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover story
SOURCE: BY REBECCA A. MYERS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 141 lines
TEN YEARS AGO, Nancy Spivey gave birth to a daughter, only to lose her 10 days later due to complications from the pregnancy.
When she learned three years ago that she was pregant, her first thought was, ``I can't go through this again.''
Opening the phone book to find an abortion clinic, she hit upon a listing titled ``Abortion Alternatives.'' She decided to call the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater.
She reached the center's 24-hour hotline, located in Virginia Beach, and told the counselor that she was contemplating an abortion.
The counselor offered alternatives - just as Spivey would have heard if she had visited the Suffolk office, which serves Western Tidewater.
``They told me that they would hang in there with me, regardless,'' she said. ``They offer you hope where there wouldn't otherwise have been any hope.''
The first Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater Inc. was established in Virginia Beach 10 years ago, under guidance of the Christian Action Council of Washington, D.C. Today there are three centers in Hampton Road.
Karen McIntyre, director of the Portsmouth center, said the organization ``exists to help women choose life.'' Each center works ``in a quiet, nonviolent way,'' she said. ``We're decidedly, obviously, pro-life, but we are not out there as some of the other organizations are.''
She said,``We are a Christian organization, so we certainly come from a Biblical perspective. But along with that is not judgment.''
Unlike groups that champion the rights of the unborn, the Crisis Pregnancy Centers focus on the needs of the woman.
``She's the one in need at this point,'' McIntyre said. ``She's the one who needs assistance and caring . . . And you know what? If she feels cared for, she'll be able to care for that baby. That's what moms do.''
There are about 470 similar, nonprofit centers throughout the country, all run predominantly by volunteer staff and supported by contributions from individuals, churches and businesses.
Free and confidential services include pregnancy testing, parenting classes, referrals and practical support in the form of maternity clothes, baby clothes and supplies.
And center counselors strive to offer women emotional support to get through unexpected pregnancies.
``A lot of women facing unplanned pregnancies, no matter what age, feel forced into (abortion),'' said McIntyre.
Often, she siad, these women choose to terminate a pregnancy because they feel that no one will be there to support them if they decide to carry the baby to term. ``That is really not a choice,'' said McIntyre. ``When you feel forced into something, you're really not making a choice . . . We want them to know that there will be someone there for them.
``It's true that moms and dads may be giving the cold shoulder, a boyfriend may break up, but there will be someone there for her to call to talk to and to confide in and to support her.''
Spivey delivered her baby - a boy - three months premature. He lived only two minutes.
Still, ``I'm glad I didn't choose (abortion),'' she said, ``that I went on and tried anyway.,''
With the center's help, she said, ``I had an advocate who would come over and bring me a card, or she would call me and just tell me she loved me and was praying for me . . . We're still in contact today,'' said Spivey, a beautician. ``She's a friend.''
Without the initial help of the Virginia Beach office of the Crisis Pregnancy Center, Spivey probably wouldn't have found the courage to persevere when she became pregnant again a year later, she said.
That time the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Portsmouth provided Spivey the moral support she needed. And today the 40-year-old is the mother of a 18-month-old daughter, Megan.
``She's perfect, she really is,'' said Spivey, a resident of Simonsdale. ``I mean, she's beautiful.''
But even for those who choose abortion, the center offers counseling in group or individual sessions. Women who've had abortions in their pasts are offered counseling as well.
``Obviously, you don't forget,'' said McIntyre. ``There are lots of things in life you don't forget, but it doesn't have to become a troubling menace or a source of nightmares or tears.''
The centers offer a separate post-abortion support group for men.
``As far as sexuality and birth control counseling go, because we're a Christian ministry and biblically based, what we advocate is abstinence outside of marriage,'' said McIntyre.
No age or income restrictions are placed on any of the center's clients.
For women unable to afford baby clothes, the center maintains a storage shed filled with bins containing rubber pants, tights, hats, gloves, training pants, underwear, shoes, pajamas, blankets, towels, washcloths, blankets, diapers, sweaters and jackets.
``All of it is donated,'' said McIntyre. ``We purchase nothing.''
To replenish their stock, the center is periodically given ``baby showers'' by churches and individuals.
``They'll go out and buy for us as if they're buying for someone they knew. They give us little outfits and bonnets and things that a grandma would buy for her grandchildren,'' said McIntyre.
After a baby is born to one of their clients, the center will provide the new mother with an infant bathtub stocked with about two years' worth of baby items - pajamas in small, medium and large sizes, drawstring gowns, undershirts, baby shoes, booties, hats, bonnets, bibs, towels, washcloths, stuffed toys, a crib sheet, cloth diapers and clothing up to size 2.
The center remains available to the mother - should she require additional assistance - by referring her to other agencies that can help her financially, medically, or with housing or adoption needs.
``We don't want to be another stop on the `taking' train; yet sometimes things are just rough and someone needs to give them a break,'' she said.
``We just want to be a loving place where they can receive and not think about returning . . . Once pregnancy hits, life as she knows it will change.
``And it always will, no matter if you're happily married or not.'' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photos by BILL TIERNAN
Nancy Spivey holds daughter Megan in the waiting room of the Crisis
Pregnancy Center of Tidewater. The center helped her through the
loss of two other infants.
Janice Baldwin, a volunteer, answers phone inquiries. She spends
several hours a week at the center, where counselors strive to offer
women the emotional support they need.
Staff photos by BILL TIERNAN
Karen McIntyre, director of the crisis center, sorts through baby
clothes in the storage area. The center also provides maternity
clothes and baby supplies, which are donated.
Graphic
AT A GLANCE
The Suffolk office of the Crisis Pregnancy Center, serving
residents of Western Tidewater, is at 230 N. Main Street. It is in
the back portion of the building, which is across from First Baptist
Church.
It is open each Monday and Thursday, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Betty Sprague is Suffolk director.
In addition to pregnancy counseling, the office offers community
talks - including schools - and in-service training. Call 925-0843.
If the Suffolk office is not staffed, the call will go to the
center's hotline.
by CNB