THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, January 19, 1996 TAG: 9601190114
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E12 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: Karen Baranski and Vorando Mack
LENGTH: Medium: 55 lines
DEAR KAREN AND VORANDO,
I am having a hard time deciding if I should forgive my boyfriend and my best friend. You see, they slept together. They have apologized to me and said that they never meant to hurt me but I don't think that things like that just happen. How can I forgive them for hurting me and stooping so low? - Peace Deceived
Dear Peace Deceived: Your boyfriend has deceived you, destroyed your trust in him, and worse, put you and your best friend at odds. Your ``best'' friend has done the same.
Forgiving him might make him feel better, but face it, this won't mean that you have forgotten it. Keep in mind that forgiving him might also send a message that you don't intend - that it's OK to deceive you.
Having sex with someone isn't an accident that just happens, it's a voluntary act that can be controlled. Why can't your best friend and boyfriend control themselves? You all need to talk about that.
You have a right to expect for your boyfriend to be faithful to you, and it's not only out of consideration. People who have multiple partners risk contracting serious sexually transmitted diseases. Your boyfriend could be gambling with your health, too.
If he can convince you that he will never do this again, and if you are willing to take the chance that he might, then go ahead and forgive him. If not, give him the ``let's just be friends'' line and find a guy that will treat you with some respect.
Now about your so-called best friend, can you trust her with anything again? You've probably read that line that goes ``boyfriends come and go but best friends are forever.'' This is no joke. If a guy can come between the two of you then perhaps you aren't as close as you think.
Respect and trust are missing in your friendship. This doesn't mean that you will never be able to find another best friend. Don't let her personal flaws cast a shadow of doubt on other people in your life.
No one deserves to be put in this type of situation. We say forgiveness may be divine, but moving on seems more appropriate. MEMO: Karen and Vorando's column runs twice a month in Teenology. If you
would like to ask them a question, call Infoline at 640-5555 and enter
category 8335. Or write to them at 4565 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia
Beach, Va. 23462.
ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Karen Baranski is a senior at Green Run High School. Vorando Mack is
a senior at Norview High.
by CNB